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HBO and The Ringer's Bill Simmons hosts the most downloaded sports podcast of all time, with a rotating crew of celebrities, athletes, and media staples, as well as mainstays like Cousin Sal, Joe House, and a slew of other friends and family members who always happen to be suspiciously available.
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Ever raise venture capital? Then you’ve definitely heard some version of:
“It’s a bit too early for us.”
“What if Google builds this?”
“Ping me when you have a lead.”
In Episode 7 of UnicornPrn, Melissa and Lloyed crack open the cliché-filled, gaslight-ridden world of fundraising conversations. They expose the truth behind fake praise, soft NOs, and the cult of “value-add” investors.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
✅ How to decode the top 10 most common VC phrases
✅ Why “Let us know how we can help” is investor ghosting in disguise
✅ When “you’re not thinking big enough” actually means we don’t get it
✅ How to navigate value-add promises that vanish post-wire
Hot Takes:
✅ “Founders get confused when someone’s interested, but they’re not actually making a move. Interest ≠ intent.”
✅ “Most VCs only give you confidence after someone else has given you conviction.”
So grab your Series A dreams and your Series Z patience, because this episode is your official VC-to-English dictionary.
Tune in. Wake up. Think hard. Build smart.
Contact UnicornPrn
- Find show notes of each episode on UnicornPrn.com - hit subscribe like it owes you money
About our hosts
- Melissa Kwan is Cofounder and CEO of eWebinar, and a 3X bootstrapper who has spent the last 14 years building companies without ever raising a cent of venture capital.
- Lloyed Lobo is a WSJ bestselling author, Cofounder of Boast.AI and Traction founder community, startup advisor, angel investor, board member, and LP in multiple VC funds — he’s seen startup chaos from both sides of the term sheet.
- LinkedIn: Melissa Kwan and Lloyed Lobo
- Instagram: @themelissakwan and @lloyedlobo
- YouTube: @themlissakwan and @StartupTraction
- Subscribe to 'your founder next door' at melissakwan.com, Melissa's bi-monthly newsletter on how to build a company without an abundance of resources and friends in high places. ...
11 episodes
