Alonement is a podcast about the positive side of spending time alone. When being alone isn't lonely, it's alonement: finding joy and value in solitude. Each week, host Francesca Specter asks a new guest about the time they spend by themselves – and why it matters to them. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Francesca Specter Podcasts

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How to Cook for One, with Eleanor Wilkinson
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44:20Struggle to cook for one? We've got you - our guest Eleanor Wilkinson, recipe developer and author of One Pot, One Portion, has dedicated her career to overcoming some of the most common hurdles people face when cooking solo. Inspired by losing her father at a young age, Eleanor resolved to seize life's simple pleasures and make every moment count,…
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Cat Ladies of the World, Unite! With Comedian Katie Norris
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46:18Welcome to season 10 of Alonement! Katie Norris, an award-winning comedian and confirmed cat-cherlorette (OK, I came up with that) is my guest on the first episode of this season. Katie adopted her 'lockdown baby', Atticus, at the start of the pandemic. He's been her companion as she's established herself as a stand-up comedian, and taken a prolong…
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Maggie Smith: Financial Independence, Relearning Vulnerability & Dating After Divorce
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42:03Maggie Smith is a poet & writer who found overnight fame when her poem, ‘Good Bones’, went viral on social media in 2016. Later on, her life was to take a further change when her husband of 19 years, and the father of her children, announced he wanted a divorce two years later. Her memoir, You Could Make This Place Beautiful, published in April 202…
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There are certain rites of passage that take place after a major break-up. For some, it’s a hair-cut or a big solo trip, or a regrettable rebound with someone the polar opposite of your ex. My guest this week, Alice Vincent, departed from the cliches: for her, it was growing plants. In her partly autobiographical books, Rootbound and more recently …
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Leslie Stephens: The Joy of Living Alone, Plus How To Design a Home for One
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49:30Leslie Stephens is the writer behind Morning Person, a top 10 Substack newsletter that chronicles her life in Portland, Oregon. In August last year, shortly after her 30th birthday, Leslie announced to her readers that she was separating from her husband. Over the past 18 months, she’s chronicled her journey of living by herself for the first time,…
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Max Dickins: On Male Friendship & Overcoming Weekend Loneliness
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42:17Getting engaged to your partner is typically a time for celebration. But for today’s guest Max Dickins, it was …. more complicated. As he prepared to propose to his girlfriend, Naomi, he had an uncomfortable revelation: he couldn’t think of anyone to ask to be his best man. This prompted a personal crisis for the writer and comedian – one which ins…
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Anita Bhagwandas: Finding a Social Balance When You Live Alone
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49:39My guest this week is Anita Bhagwandas, an award winning beauty director, and more recently the author of Ugly: Giving Us Back Our Beauty Standards, a book that examines the damaging impact of narrow beauty ideals and serves as a brilliant manifesto towards a more inclusive attitude. The book explores the importance of practising self care on your …
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Jessica Pan: The Introvert's Guide to Socialising
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50:54In this episode, Jessica Pan discusses her book 'Sorry I'm Late, I Didn't Want to Come' and her journey of embracing extroversion. As we discuss on the show, Jessica is almost the opposite to me – she’s an introvert who learnt to be more extraverted, whereas I started exploring Alonement as a means of dealing with my fear, as an extrovert, of being…
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Poppy Jay: From Arranged Marriage to Falling in Love with Singlehood
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42:09My guest on this week’s episode is Poppy Jay, best known as the co-host of Brown Girls Do It Too, which won Podcast of the Year at the British Podcast Awards 2020. She’s also a BAFTA-nominated documentary maker, devoted to chronicling difficult, real-life stories for BBC Three and Channel 4. But she’s also been honest about her own: after entering …
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Thomas Curran: The Dark Side of Perfectionism
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43:39'That's the root of perfectionism: that chronic deficit thinking, the belief that we're not good enough. That we're not attractive enough, smart enough, fit enough, whatever it might be. In order to compensate for those feelings, we project on to the world a perfect persona that we feel like everybody wants to see – that we should be, essentially. …
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Vex King: How To Practise Self-Love Through Your Actions
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49:48You can’t really love anyone until you love yourself. While we see this a lot on Instagram, it’s something that actually requires a lot of exploration – and it’s my guest this week, the bestselling author and mind coach Vex King, that many of us have turned to over the past few years to teach us the true power of self-love, through his books, first…
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Ruby Warrington: My Marriage Wouldn't Work With Children
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49:15My guest this week is Women Without Kids author, Ruby Warrington. We're are at a fascinating time in history – where, both in the UK, US, and across almost every developed nation like Switzerland, Italy, Japan and South Korea, adults are having children later in life – or, indeed, not at all. While statistics vary, it is a recognised trend – and th…
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Donna Lancaster: Alone Is Where I Meet Myself
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49:56Donna Lancaster is a coach and therapist, best known as the co-creator of The Bridge, a retreat designed to help attendees navigate grief and loss, and the author of a book of the same name. More recently, Donna has published a pocket book called Wise Words for Women, full of advice on how to live a rewarding, connected life. I know we hear a lot o…
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Naoise Dolan: Autism, (Un)happy Couples & The Joy Of Being A Foreigner
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42:10This week’s guest is author Naoise Dolan. I am absolutely thrilled to have Naoise on this season – she’s widely consider of the millennial generation’s most talented writers, ever since her Sunday Times bestseller debut novel Exciting Times was published in 2020. It’s currently being adapted into an Amazon Studios TV production starring Phoebe Dyne…
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Caggie Dunlop: Overcoming Anxious Attachment In A Relationship
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48:52My guest for this week’s episode is podcaster and author Caggie Dunlop, whom you might also recognise as a former cast member on the rather well known reality show called Made in Chelsea. Caggie has since reached a whole different audience. Her show Saturn Returns – which explores the coming of age happens somewhere around your late twenties and ea…
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Adam Gopnik: Solitude And The City, Edward Hopper & The Joy Of Being Alone In A Crowd
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40:39This week's guest is Adam Gopnik, a long-standing staff writer at the New Yorker, and the award-winning author of a frankly intimidating number of books, most recently The Real Work: On the Mystery of Mastery, which explores the process of learning a new skill. And then there was his recent Hollywood debut – those who’ve seen Oscar-winning film Tar…
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Dr Nicole Lepera: How A Fear of Being Alone Feels In Your Body
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46:00This week’s guest is Dr Nicole LePera, whom you might be more familiar with as the Holistic Psychologist – the handle of her somewhat insanely popular Instagram account. She’s also the author of multiple books, including her New York bestseller How To Do The Work, and her latest title, a workbook called How To Meet Your Self. With fans including El…
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Amy Key: Single For 22 Years – A Life Story Told Through Joni Mitchell Songs
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49:05This week's guest on the podcast is the poet Amy Key. We're here to discuss her first work of prose, Arrangements in Blue: Notes on Love and Making a Life, which is a memoir inspired by the work of Amy's beloved musical icon, Joni Mitchell. Aged 44. Amy has been single for 22 years. Her book challenges us to consider the claim that life can both be…
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Susan Cain: The 'Quiet' Author On Free Falling Through Her Early 30s, Plus Why She Married An Extrovert
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49:44The Alonement podcast is back! And for the first episode of this season, I’m speaking to one of the most-requested guests since the show began: Susan Cain. Susan is the author of Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can’t Stop Talking, a book which spent eight years on the New York bestseller list after its publication in 2012. The book w…
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Hello Alonement listeners! So, a quick announcement to share that I've just launched a new project called The Shoulds. The Shoulds is an online Substack publication and community space that explores the hidden rules and stories that shape our lives. In many ways, this newsletter will be just like this podcast covering a lots of similar topics aroun…
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Me Time | Konnie Huq: Why Everyone Needs Anchors
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9:43This clip is taken from my guest interview with former Blue Peter presenter Konnie Huq, first released in August 2020. Konnie speaks about the sustaining power of having 'anchors' – close friends and family whom you know are at the end of the phone – and how this prevents loneliness, even when you are alone. Twitter: @ChezSpecter @Konnie_Huq Instag…
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Dr Marisa G. Franco: Why ‘Secure’ Attachment & Alone Time Go Hand In Hand
46:47
46:47
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46:47Season 7 finale! How did that happen?! We are, however, going out with a bang... This week, I have the pleasure of chatting to friendship expert & psychologist Dr Marisa G. Franco, whose new book Platonic: How Understanding Your Attachment Style Can Help You Make and Keep Friends combines two of the most zeitgeist-y lifestyle topics of the moment: …
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In this clip, we hear from psychologist and Instagram sensation Dr Emma Hepburn – with one of my favourite pieces of wisdom from our original recording, released in April 2021. Emma Hepburn’s book, A Toolkit For Modern Life, discussed in this episode, is available to order now. * My book, Alonement: How To Be Alone & Absolutely Own It, is available…
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Nihal Arthanayake: We Need To Talk About Male Loneliness
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51:32This week my interviewee is radio and TV presenter Nihal Arthanayake. While I’ll be asking the questions today, Nihal is most used to playing the other role, having interviewed countless household names, including Minnie Driver, Ricky Gervais & Benedict Cumberbatch on his regular BBC 5 Live show. He’s recently written a book, Let’s Talk: How To Hav…
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Me Time | Daisy Buchanan: Life Advice From A Former Agony Aunt
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10:35Another week, another bitesize mini-episode from Alonement archives. This conversation with journalist and author Daisy Buchanan comes from the first season of Alonement, recorded in person at my flat in November 2019. Before pivoting towards writing books, Daisy worked as an agony aunt for Grazia magazine, answering reader questions around everyth…
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Holly Bourne: The Alternative Version of 'Happily Ever After'
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47:52This week I have the absolute pleasure of speaking to one of my favourite authors, Holly Bourne. After beginning her novel-writing career in the young adult genre, Holly has released three brilliant titles for adults over the past few years, which are full of wise reflections on relationships, navigating social pressure and recovering from trauma. …
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Me Time | Erling Kagge: London Is Lonelier Than Antarctica
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10:28Erling Kagge, one of the greatest living polar explorers – and the first in history to reach the 'three poles' – is the guest that we hear from in this week’s mini episode, taken from our longer conversation released in February 2022. Speaking to me from his home in Norway, Erling shares touchingly in this clip how the time he spent living in Londo…
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Salma El-Wardany: Heartbreak Made Me Whole Again
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41:55In this week’s episode, I interview poet, BBC radio presenter and author Salma El-Wardany. Salma’s debut novel, These Impossible Things, has been a breakout international hit. It’s a novel about three British Muslim women whose close friendship falls apart one devastating night, and covers the themes of platonic bonds, identity and growing up. We d…
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Me Time | Sophia Money-Coutts: Egg Freezing & The Option Of Solo Parenting
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9:21Journalist and novelist Sophia Money-Coutts is the star of this week’s mini-episode, first released in a longer form in August 2020. In this clip, we discuss a really important, timely topic of egg-freezing – undoubtedly one of the most important advances in fertility medicine like, ever. Sophia is wonderfully honest about her decision to freeze he…
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Dr Kat Lederle: Does Sleep Count As 'Me-Time'?
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46:39Ever wondered about the relationship between sleep and ‘alone time’? That’s the topic of this week’s episode with Dr Kat Lederle, a sleep scientist and chronobiologist (read: ‘body clock scientist’). I don’t know about you, but as someone who occasionally sits up for hours in the early morning with insomnia, I’d never considered how a lack of ‘me-t…
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Me Time | Vick Hope: Why I Am My Own Soulmate
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9:15Talk about an alonement icon – radio DJ & broadcaster Vick Hope is a woman who radiates everything this podcast is about, as a sunny, ambitious, beautiful soul with an infectious passion for life, or as she puts it 'a gratitude for being alive'. This episode was recorded in September 2020, and in the full episode Vick talks about living alone, bein…
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Emma Forrest: Finding Solitude & Romance In Celibacy
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35:23As political protests go, a four-year vow of celibacy is on the extreme side. And that’s what this week’s guest, British-American film director & writer Emma Forrest, decided to do following her divorce from actor Ben Mendelsohn, a period of her life which coincided with Donald Trump serving as the 45th US President from 2017 to 2021. ‘Looking at h…
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Me Time | Mo Gawdat: How To Make Friends With Your Brain
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6:52Mo Gawdat, bestselling author, podcaster & former chief business officer of Google X, is the star of this week's minisode, taken from our conversation first recorded in September 2021. In this clip from the archives, Mo shares his unique advice for learning to be alone comfortably with our thoughts, ie the gold standard of alonement. With a backgro…
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Phoebe Fox: Does Absence Make The Heart Grow Fonder?
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30:05This week’s guest is Phoebe Fox, aka Marial from The Great, who acts alongside Elle Fanning and Nicholas Hoult in Hulu’s deliciously irreverent ‘anti-historical’ comedy-drama. I interviewed Phoebe, a RADA-trained actor who's been nominated both an Olivier and a SAG, earlier this year for GLAMOUR magazine, and I enjoyed our conversation so much that…
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Me Time | Dr Julie Smith: What's The Point Of Journalling?
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11:26For this week's mini-episode, I'm revisiting my conversation with Dr Julie Smith, a clinical psychologist turned bestselling author known better by her Instagram handle, Dr Julie, or simply as that therapist off TikTok. In this clip, we take a deep dive into what it means to journal well. Of course, we see a lot on Instagram about journalling, but …
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Megan Hine: A Survival Expert On Being Your Own Hero
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49:41Described by close friend Bear Grylls as ‘stronger than 99% of the men I know’, Megan Hine is a survival expert and TV presenter who works on and off camera to make some of the most extreme adventure shows on television happen. She also holds a degree in psychology – just another string to her already-very-loaded bow. I managed to catch Megan durin…
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Me Time | Florence Given: Choosing Myself Over My ‘Clique’
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10:17As Florence Given tops the fiction bestseller charts with her debut novel, Girlcrush, I decided now would be a brilliant time to revisit this episode – first released in July 2020, after the release of her non-fiction book, Women Don't Owe You Pretty. In this clip, the writer, illustrator & podcast host shares how she learnt a crucial lesson about …
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Owen O'Kane: How To Stop Living On Autopilot
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1:08:23I’m delighted to welcome Sunday Times bestselling author Owen O’Kane on to the show this week. Previously an NHS Clinical Lead for mental health, Owen is now a psychotherapist and bestselling author. His books have all sorts of intriguing names, like Ten Times Happier and Ten To Zen. But when I saw the title of his latest book, How To Be Your Own T…
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Me Time | Alain De Botton: The Art Of Getting To Know Yourself
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13:38Welcome to ‘Me Time’, Alonement’s new, weekly series of 10-minute mini episodes from the archives. We’ll be showcasing the very best wisdom from some of our favourite former guests, in bitesize episodes designed for those smaller pockets of Alonement that you get throughout your day. I'm kicking off with a slice of Alonement history: an excerpt fro…
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Iona Bain: Solo Finance, Living Alone & The 'Single Supplement'
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58:39Iona Bain is a personal finance expert who appears regularly on BBC Morning Live and writes a weekly column for the i Paper. She’s written two books, her second is Own It – a millennial guide to investing. On a personal level, she’s also recently made the big step of buying her first flat as a solo buyer – a process she described to me in an email …
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Abigail Bergstrom: Hanging Out With The Best Version Of Yourself
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37:05Welcome to the tenth and final episode of season 6. This week’s episode is the second of two live recordings I did back to back at Kings Place in London – which was recorded in front of an audience. My guest is Abigail Bergstrom, the literary agent behind some of the biggest bestselling books in the past few years. More recently, at the beginning o…
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Olivia Petter: The Right (& Wrong) Ways To Navigate Solitude In A Relationship
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33:57This week, I have something very special for you – it’s the first ever live recording of Alonement, which was recorded in front of an audience at Kings Place in London. In what was a fairly ambitious move, I decided to record not one but two episodes back to back – which I’ll be releasing this week and next. The first guest to join me on stage was …
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Emma Gannon: Rediscovering Who You Are, Offline
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53:54My very special guest this week is Emma Gannon, host of the Ctrl Alt Delete podcast, one of my absolute favourite shows and the first I ever listened to. Now a prolific author of both fiction and non-fiction, Emma is a true career inspiration – and well as an example of how to live a varied, creative life. Her latest book is Disconnected: How To St…
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Roxie Nafousi: On Manifesting, Vision Boarding, & Why Solo Time Is Integral
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45:52Become the author of your own story – that's the promise from this week's guest, Roxie Nafousi, a self-development coach and bestselling author of Manifest: 7 Steps To Living Your Best Life, who champions the power of manifesting to bring about positive transformation in your life. Manifesting is a deceivingly simple concept; in a nutshell, it mean…
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This week's guest is Isy Suttie! The comedian, author and actor best known (among Peep Show fanatics) for playing the character of Dobby on the hit British sitcom. We discuss Isy Suttie's debut novel, Jane Is Trying, together with her stand-up comedy career and relationship with fellow comedian (and alone time fan, by the sounds of things!) Elis Ja…
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Angelica Malin: The Secret To Living Your Best Single Life
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49:27This week’s guest is author and journalist Angelica Malin, who recently published Unattached: Empowering Essays on Singlehood, a curated anthology of 30 writers (including me!) exploring the experience of being single, which was published by Square Peg earlier this year. Angelica, or Jelly as I know her, just so happens to be one of my closest frie…
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Oliver Burkeman: Stop Feeling Bad About Being Human
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51:23My guest this week, Oliver Burkeman, may be many things – but he's not a productivity expert. Thankfully, the former Guardian columnist rejects both the societal obsession with productivity hacking and the idea of being an expert (he'd much prefer to be regarded as a work in progress tackling the problems he personally struggles with through his wo…
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Dr Julie Smith: The Power Of Self-Soothing (& How To Do It)
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59:33She’s famous for her 60-second videos, yet I was lucky enough to have a full 60 MINUTES interviewing this week’s guest, the wonderful Dr Julie Smith. She’s the clinical psychologist, online educator and ‘TikTok therapist’ who has been looking after the emotional health of her 3 and a half million (!) followers over the past three years through her …
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Erling Kagge: 50 Days Alone In The South Pole
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51:20As far as being 'alone' goes, my guest Erling Kagge has experienced the extreme end of the spectrum. The first man to ever complete the Three Poles challenge (that's Mount Everest, the North Pole and the South Pole) on foot, Erling once spent 50 days alone, without radio contact, during his solo South Pole expedition in 1992 – a feat which saw him …
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Radhika Sanghani: How I Fell In Love With Myself
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42:40For Radhika Sanghani, author of the brilliant new novel 30 Things I Love About Myself, time alone holds an important significance as the space where she’s learnt the true meaning of self-love. Her book even includes an aspirational, alonement-loving heroine… and what could be better? Appearing as my first guest on this season of the podcast, Radhik…
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