Best Noelle & Caitlin Podcasts (2025)

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Return of the Thief, Part II, Chapter 12: Naptime's Over 17:36

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2y ago17:36

17:36

The characters take stock of who survived the battle, while we take stock of funeral practices, accuracy in reporting, forgetting about the guns (again), and trust.

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Return of the Thief, Part II, Chapter 11: Tongue Depressor 18:08

2+ y ago18:08

18:08

The Battle of the Naupent approaches. We discuss following Dad's advice, keeping a cool head, Sophos getting left out, and chess.

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Return of the Thief, Part II, Chapter 10: Cliff Notes 17:41

2+ y ago17:41

17:41

Gen scoffs at fate (and finally gets his elephants). We discuss the stories-within-the-story (or the lack thereof), clashing gods, helpful treason, kingly authority, and defending Irene.

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Return of the Thief, Part II, Chapter 9: Prophet Margin 26:37

2+ y ago26:37

26:37

Pheris gets mixed up in some serious business. Gen has a weird dream. We discuss hypostatic union (?), killer mic drops, and doing therapy in your sleep. Featuring special guest Phil!

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Return of the Thief, Part II, Chapter 8: Too Possessed To Be Stressed 17:57

2+ y ago17:57

17:57

While Eugenides plays host to an unexpected guest, we discuss sucking chest wounds, ruining the villain monologue, random acts of kindness, and a very terrifying 40 seconds.

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Return of the Thief, Part 2, Chapter 7: An Elephant Never Forgets 20:37

3y ago20:37

20:37

In this episode, we finally see the long-awaited elephants. Oh yeah, and Nahuseresh is back or whatever. We discuss Henry the 5th, Kamet's "death", battlefield mud, and the value of heroes. Transcript coming soon.

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Return of the Thief, Part 2, Chapter 6: Underreach and Overdeliver 22:07

3y ago22:07

22:07

The army marches to war. We discuss imaginary birds, divine luck, self-doubt, self-indulgence, and drunk bird fashion goals. Transcript available here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1LOqF3iNO6AxRTenR0IOhJAMukSHfj5xVym8jUE3gdWc/edit?usp=sharing

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Return of the Thief, Part 2, Chapter 5: Trust Fall 20:45

3y ago20:45

20:45

Everyone lets off some steam before bottling it all up again to go kill people. We discuss indoor plumbing, Gen’s overnight popularity, Fordad’s motives, and the meaning of Teleus’s advice about love. Transcript available here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Oe76tnv5_pAM0dy6-ljGxdjcjH3zQkW1YNCeC25SgcY/edit?usp=sharing…

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Return of the Thief, Part 2, Chapter 4: Too Blessed To Be Stressed 24:16

3y ago24:16

24:16

Gen accomplishes his goal with the max amount of damage to himself and the max amount of distress to those around him. We discuss self image with disability, the RotT audiobook accents, Gen’s convoluted don’t-steal-Eddis plan, and the absurdity of violence. Transcript available here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1wSqYA-PxVLSd4z9HIf5lFCkE6z7iN…

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Return of the Thief, Part 2, Ch 3: All That Glitters Is Not Jewels 18:40

3y ago18:40

18:40

Truth bombs are dropped while the armies muster. We discuss dads, Gen’s parentage, and divine retribution. Transcript available here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1W6H1ZLO6tW-OQv6Nbtp1NDcTq1vrHh9pYRXSkzIA6G4/edit?usp=sharing

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Return of the Thief, Part II Chapter 2: The Great Resignation 21:11

3y ago21:11

21:11

Eugenides and Irene make a serious threat, and we discuss the centralization of power, risk-taking, new avenues for Pheris, the idea of an inverted tragedy, and, as always, love.

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Return of the Thief, Part 2, Ch 1: 70,000 New Friends 24:37

3y ago24:37

24:37

War comes to the Little Peninsula. We discuss the logistics of killing people, Fordad’s fake surprise, Eddisian tattoos, prophetic headcanons, the iconic sleeveless leather vest, and Moira’s Pen. Transcript available here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1EYdHrnSfPfyp0BNzxSk-_KipBAm_E6p4ZeU6s8asq0c/edit?usp=sharing…

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Return of the Thief, Chapter 8: Math, Maps, and Medes 30:45

3y ago30:45

30:45

Pheris gets to know his new tutor and we see the last of Melheret. We discuss the Greater Peninsula, Attolian history, Erondites’s plans, the only illustration in the series, and changes in the YA industry. Transcript available here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-_mTxblLTBAoT0anqhC9ESaKE4zVZnDeKYvfnevtKVs/edit?usp=sharing The Attolian Archiv…

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Return of the Thief, Chapter 7: Earring of Fire 19:15

3y ago19:15

19:15

Pheris saves the day! We discuss ghostly messages, new relationships, narrative overlap, and the value of kindness. Transcript available here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1mve2zeQaJ-kwNm7-B1IiqM0sIC3yeqGr1R9nZ3A4jCc/edit?usp=sharing

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Return of the Thief, Chapter 6: No Grain, No Gain 18:34

3+ y ago18:34

18:34

Pheris sees a terrifying apparition after his cover is blown. We discuss war prep, what makes monarchs popular, how not to punish children, and why Gen is a public jokester. Transcript available here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/131u7I0t5YwgppJQwWsdIPWERFIe7w2I1tTvORpGfM-A/edit?usp=sharing

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Return of the Thief, Chapter 5: Pent Up Emotions 29:06

3+ y ago29:06

29:06

In this episode, the Pent's script goes off track. We discuss Cenna's daring theatrical performance, what's in a name, and mercy versus justice. Trigger warning for discussion of sexual assault. Transcript available here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1O0jCAeD93tVM2G9GgGsoF-m4fqTdizPFPHwgzXVfqwc/edit?usp=sharing…

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Return of the Thief, Chapter 4: Prophecy is Cheap 25:46

3+ y ago25:46

25:46

In our story, we find a prophecy, a garden, a lot of personal drama, and, oh, also a death. Meanwhile, we discuss interior design, Attolia's brothers, Gen seeing Pheris, Pheris seeing Gen, and Attolia's garden as a locus amoenus. Transcript available here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1QzPf8U76AqBd9bZUxSVmdJkgXPiS9Li1aDnFyM0uv3M/edit?usp=shar…

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Return of the Thief, Chapter 3: Gift Horse 28:11

3+ y ago28:11

28:11

Eugenides gets a bow, a decorative pomegranate, a horse, and the stomach flu. We discuss oaths, names, childhood, and back references. transcript: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1QUD-VK3x6U7Ic17t3YqTgMBZ2lFK4ll9AGpapcAm49M/edit?usp=sharing

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Return of the Thief, Chapter 2: Under the Table 28:34

3+ y ago28:34

28:34

Pheris adjusts to his new home. We discuss adult supervision, Gen's master plan, Eddisian accents, the psychology of Helen's clothing choices, and confusing banquet hall seating arrangements.

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Return of the Thief, Chapter 1: Estate Stale 17:50

3+ y ago17:50

17:50

Pheris is minding his own business when he's pulled into a story more epic than he ever could have imagined. We discuss beehives, calendars, prejudice, hair, and secret sisters. transcript: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1L-kTFWs4PfqHDEv9HrKDKdMDKG5LE-i6wTMjzGjZEvY/edit?usp=sharing

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Thick As Thieves, Chapter 13: Garden Advice 21:58

3+ y ago21:58

21:58

Kamet gets some good advice from Attolia, a warning from Relius, hugs in the kitchen, and a reunion with a special friend. We discuss food, friendship, and Kamet's relationships. transcript: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1G9Hh546CFcuA1jvloymm-FD8sjqCqq77RINpdBrXjxo/edit?usp=sharing

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Thick as Thieves, Chapter 12: The Reason for the Treason 22:53

4y ago22:53

22:53

Secrets are revealed, and we discuss the advanced reader’s copy, errand boys, secret identities, trust, and sandals. Transcript available here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1GfAlh4sLT_fzEHokRWwtIewU7oP2CyT7G9H2d3XsbU4/edit?usp=sharing

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Thick as Thieves, Chapter 11: Ferry Impressive 14:42

4y ago14:42

14:42

Our duo crosses the waves. We discuss dolphins, earrings versus toe rings, private seals, pirate-safe cities, and beautiful sunsets. Transcript available here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1i8R1ZCz9Ih8Suk-iElL_UyBGpjlHFqYyjvlIl2-z8k0/edit?usp=sharing

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Thick as Thieves, Chapter 10: Fasten Furious 17:07

4y ago17:07

17:07

Kamet and Costis get help from an unexpected source. We discuss authenticity, being hoodwinked, like knowing like, projecting, and prophecy fulfillment. Transcript available here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1NVLfCfhz1mJwxuG1ZCRJWssNLydJlHulUtKkA7L69dU/edit?usp=sharing

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Thick ad Thieves, Chapter 9: Stop Telling Everyone I'm Dead 21:43

4y ago21:43

21:43

Costis comes back from the dead and Kamet stabs a dude. We ponder tall gods, friendly immortals, denial, fake ghosts, and ambiguity in relationships. Transcript available here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1sLzZjSeG_lEBYJXR-uM0rpMIjIJMZBYAteJjzsHv-jU/edit?usp=sharing

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Thick as Thieves, Chapter 8: Miller Time 15:23

4y ago15:23

15:23

Kamet and Costis make new friends then make new enemies. We discuss water as a metaphor, how to tin pots, the absence of frostbite, and mythologically scary dogs. Transcript available here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1hycjFtPt2muSaXEZhoJb143NQWy9VemnM9tkIQFsw2A/edit?usp=sharing

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Thick as Thieves, Chapter 7: Gets My Goat 18:07

4y ago18:07

18:07

Kamet and Costis bond over another myth and some good conversations. We look at violence, apologies, forgiveness, the goddess of mercy, mischievous errand boys, and faking your own death. Content warning for a mention of sexual violence 4:48 - 4:54. Transcript available here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1EbYuzuKc2pd9HG0OdjXMcv6Bw-Rg9XUbU_642…

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Thick as Thieves, Chapter 6: Sneak Attack 19:36

4y ago19:36

19:36

Kamet and Costis escape another bad situation through teamwork. We discuss quick thinking, national identity, Kamet’s perspective on intimacy, and the presence of violence in this chapter. Content warning for discussion of sexual assault 3:15 - 7:04 and 13:20 - 13:45 - 14:03. Transcript available here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1jtAbIipMDk…

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Thick as Thieves, Chapter 5: Tourist Trap 18:03

4y ago18:03

18:03

Kamet and Costis visit a beautiful monument and we discuss Kamet’s childhood, mysterious fortunes, and how great Costis is at lying. Transcript available here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1VmlXIq7q9S36vhvj3SIMSTizPFBQoD_H4QzK3FDqgWk/edit?usp=sharing

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Thick As Thieves, Chapter 4: The Lion's Share 18:31

4y ago18:31

18:31

Costis and Kamet find a not-so-safe place to lie low and get to know each other a little better. We discuss goddess(es) of the moon, explicit and implicit references to Eugenides, and fictional food. Transcript available here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1k9OQDp5qYFf31gwmO9Jl7E_dK7PBygxhdedslqZWvf0/edit?usp=sharing…

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Thick as Thieves, Chapter 2: Disguise Guys 23:42

4y ago23:42

23:42

Costis and Kamet start a new job, and we wonder about slavery in Medea versus Sounis, why don’t Kamet and Costis wonder what caused the boat fire, why do the real guards think a fake guard has infiltrated their midst, and what’s the significance of a broken, stapled cup? Transcript available here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1WdQMJ-NOtdsyICK…

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Thick as Thieves, Chapter 2: Anet’s Ever Given Dream 21:31

4y ago21:31

21:31

Kamet and Costis set off, and we ponder resourcefulness, the format of the Immakuk and Ennikar stories, in-universe connections with heroic myths, divine priorities, and going off into the great unknown. Transcript available here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1wNYWUPVPrvAyL4wy6nleiMhIEIuzOzhwKYAs49FBOg4/edit?usp=sharing…

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Thick as Thieves, Chapter 1: Stranger Danger 31:15

4y ago31:15

31:15

In our first episode on Thick as Thieves, Kamet sets the stage, and our friend Blythe joins us to discuss epigraphs, self-presentation, purposeful omissions, how disability enhances Kamet’s story, and the real-life army of giants created by King Frederick I of Prussia. Content warning for discussion of abuse at 6:49 - 10:00 and sexual abuse at 12:3…

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A Conspiracy of Kings, Chapters 22 and 23: Lightning Bolt of Realization 24:37

4y ago24:37

24:37

All is revealed to Sophos as the story closes. He and Helen agree to marry, and the Medes will find the Peninsula united against them. As we wrap up our discussion of this book we ponder what changes when the characters have proof of the gods' existence, the interconnection between triumph and loss, and how this series compares with other “chosen o…

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A Conspiracy of Kings, Chapter 21: Pinky Promise 18:43

4+ y ago18:43

18:43

Sounis swears loyalty to Attolis and has a Big Romantic Speech for Helen. We wonder—why is the queen of Attolia uninvolved in the ceremony? Why does Helen get so mad at Sophos? Is the Attolian rumor mill ever out of grist? And (we promise this is relevant) when was tissue paper invented? Transcript available here: https://docs.google.com/document/d…

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A Conspiracy of Kings, Chapter 20: Don't You (Forget About Me) 19:47

4+ y ago19:47

19:47

Sophos wins the final battle, cleans up, imprisons Nomenus, and finally reunites with his mother and sisters. We discuss the anonymity of kingship, what we’re meant to take from Nomenus’s role in the series, responsibility towards enemies as well as friends, and the joys of Queen’s Thief modern AUs. Transcript available here: https://docs.google.co…

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A Conspiracy of Kings, Chapter 19, Part II: Sun's Out, Guns Out 20:11

4+ y ago20:11

20:11

A sacred truce is broken, two people get shot, an army appears, and a king is elected - what a good thing no one skipped the theater today. We ponder: What was Akretenesh gonna do after committing regicide? Does it matter that Sophos shot with his left hand first? Why is Sophos the only Queen’s Thief narrator who swears? And … if you could put one …

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A Conspiracy of Kings, Chapter 19, Part I: Oligarchy in Action 18:44

4+ y ago18:44

18:44

A Conspiracy of Kings, Chapter 19, Part I: Oligarchy in Action Sophos discusses principles of government with dozens of uninterested barons. We discuss the tradition of the Baron’s Meet, political theater taking place in an actual theater, accidental intimidation, leaps of faith, and symbolic murals. Transcript available here: https://docs.google.c…

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A Conspiracy of Kings, Chapter 18: Sexting for Spies 20:43

4+ y ago20:43

20:43

This Just In: Akretenesh slips up, Hanaktos is acting weird, Helen is still crafty AND hot, Sophos is putting two and two together, and THE THIEF HAS BEEN OPTIONED BY DISNEY+. Transcript available here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1WhWrF2fj5uzggi7Lm6MResWfnnAeQpoKxizpPtuvBQM/edit?usp=sharing

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A Conspiracy of Kings, Chapter 17: Be Our Guest! Be Our Guest! 16:17

4+ y ago16:17

16:17

Sophos reaches Brimedius as planned. Akretenesh battles Nahuseresh for title of Most Annoying Mede. We wonder—does being king have an upside? Will the seat of culture shift from Ferria to Attolia if Sophos founds a university? Would Costis and Sophos be friends? And what possible message could be secreted in a half-page love letter? Minor RotT spoi…

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A Conspiracy of Kings, Chapter 16: Bye Bye Love 16:54

4+ y ago16:54

16:54

Sophos leaves to go conquer. We discuss PDA, impaling people on spikes, unnecessary diffidence, what it takes to wield authority, and turtles all the way down. Minor spoilers for RotT. Transcript available here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Jr2fvHXqqt9zvx6EMIpdwIEhKS9MKokoGHmIaI1QjIQ/edit?usp=sharing…

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A Conspiracy of Kings, Chapter 15: Wild Night Out on the Town 22:06

4+ y ago22:06

22:06

Two kings walk into a bar … We discuss sneaking out romcom style, who built all the secret palace doors, miraculous solutions to life’s problems, and why Sophos is no longer blessed with divine dreams. Transcript available here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1T9WGas2c8Z-u303y1-1Mmuvt4s8I6kE1P2T93sj133w/edit?usp=sharing…

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A Conspiracy of Kings, Chapter 14, Part II: Shots! Shots! Shots! Shots! Shots! Shots! 18:06

4+ y ago18:06

18:06

It’s Not Opposite Day - Sophos drinks with his enemy and hockey checks his best friend. We discuss manners, self-destruction, trophy husbands, and more. Note: minor spoiler joke for RotT at the end of the outro music. Transcript available here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/12l8U7HgaB6iCYgAk1TFP3avjEJ31kOfV3ukx2p-SI_M/edit?usp=sharing…

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Return of the Thief: First Reactions (SPOILERS) 26:20

4+ y ago26:20

26:20

Here’s what we thought of Return of the Thief! Warning: we talk about the whole book, so if you haven’t finished it yet and don’t want to know what happens, hold off! Spoiler: WE LOVED IT. Transcript available here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1qZinSgS1_tmCovBh0FScBH87f2gB2MkRyba8j8rqOlc/edit?usp=sharing Become a sponsor here (if you want!):…

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A Conspiracy of Kings, Chapter 14, Part I: A Game of Telephone 26:01

4+ y ago26:01

26:01

Sophos is inundated with meetings but also gets some garden downtime. We wonder - is having political meetings in your bedroom a power move? Who’s really in charge here? Is this all an elaborate performance meant to distract us? Why is Attolia being so helpful? Have the goats gotten into the laundry again? Transcript available here: https://docs.go…

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A Conspiracy of Kings, Chapter 13: A Very Odd Engagement 20:52

4+ y ago20:52

20:52

Sophos is finally reunited with Helen! Also in store: Emotions! Mail theft! Accidental ghosting! Friendship! Forgiveness! The Continent! Transcript available here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1LJG-biLIRreem_NB0YM6Fsl86E00jh0OWKBMWVFrpQo/edit?usp=sharing Become a sponsor here (if you want!): https://anchor.fm/attolian-archives-pod/support…

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A Conspiracy of Kings, Chapters 11 and 12: Friends in High Places 24:07

4+ y ago24:07

24:07

Sophos has a very uncomfortable twenty minutes with Attolis and four hundred of his closest friends. We ponder long-distance friendship, political performance, first-person versus third-person narration, whether the queen’s thief books exist in-universe, and fancy fancy dress. Transcript available here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1hw24oEpmE…

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A Conspiracy of Kings, Chapter 10: Coup d'Tent 16:45

5y ago16:45

16:45

Sophos escapes another assassination attempt and then hits the road, while we discuss anti-Mede sentiment, women’s literacy in Sounis, what it takes to win a war, “protective alliances,” and hilarious narration. Thanks to tumblr user ms-digne for the maps comment and links we discuss here! Transcript available here: https://docs.google.com/document…

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A Conspiracy of Kings, Chapters 8 and 9: Cracking Open a Cold Amphora with the Boys 15:45

5y ago15:45

15:45

As Sophos and co. make a break for it, we discuss broken amphorae, what Sophos owes to other people, international trade routes, and how to tell your dad to shut up. Transcript available here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1FBa6cAeDC-5QbWFFb79HTFiGYjNjDKasU93rDuxt5mY/edit?usp=sharing Become a sponsor here (if you want!): https://anchor.fm/atto…

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A Conspiracy of Kings, Chapter 7: Long Day's Journey into Knife 22:34

5y ago22:34

22:34

Sophos begins his escape! With our new guest Blythe, we consider whose choices have weight, how to pronounce Eddis, young love, kingliness, lucky coincidences, and locally grown artisanal cults. Transcript available here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1_CG3ujVZnKZmWL9f8uVsps17RBCLrTYeyI6pYMK9wq0/edit?usp=sharing Become a sponsor here (if you w…