To live in New York City is to hold a ringside seat at a human circus starring junkie soccer coaches, bankers brawling over nursery school slots, and the occasional subway harpist. Every week, Phil & Bob — college friends and O.G. New Yorkers — talk about life in the Big City. They also discuss other stuff, too, like get-rich-quick schemes, Jewish true crime tales, and psychoanalytical malpractice.
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The Great American Novel. In Staten Island. Bob Finds a Subway Birthday Friend.
38:52
38:52
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38:52Back again after a long hiatus. If you're still listening, good luck. But seriously, it's a rainy day in New York City, summer is in the air, and the Treehouse team rehashes more nonsense. Such as: -Bob's subway birthday friend. -John Updike's kids. -Why you don't see warmongering Buddhists. -Those darn Israelis at it again. -Staten Island, home of…
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Lousy Spring Break Resort People. Phil's new Physical Therapist.
43:28
43:28
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43:28Ok folks. Spring break is over and we're back. This week we get into: -Bob's idea to capitalize on the Trump tariffs with homegrown coconuts and sturgeon farms. -When New York businesses don't account for weird homeless antics. -The appeal of going off the grid -Phil's new physical therapist
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Old People at the Pharmacy and Running Into Gus Fring at the Gym
43:28
43:28
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43:28March is here and the weather is fantastic. A welcome break from the frost despite the loss of an hour due to daylight savings. Today we yak about the following: -Be like Tracy Austin and NFL cornerbacks and learn to turn the page and not dwell on the negative. -Phil grates his knuckle and deals with the neighborhgood oldies in the pharmacy. -Anora…
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Bob Searches for a New Duvet. Hunting For Sugar Mommies.
46:09
46:09
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46:09Holy crap it's cold. Again. This week more nonsense such as: -Bob's search for a new duvet leads him into a magicakl world of MILFs, GILFs and Siamese twins -Career advice: find a sugar mommy! -What's really going on at the Met? -More personals from those nerds at the New York Review of Books
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Confronting a Bad Writer at the Strand and HMart Love.
47:12
47:12
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47:12Well folks another wintry week (or two) and we're back at it. This week we look at: -HMart the suddenly semi-ubiquitous Korean grocery. Asian shopping minus the toads and loogie hockers. -Phil considers hijacking a book panel at the Strand. -You know all that street construction? Is it all bullshit? And other street perils: dangling steel girders, …
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Bookstore Jews and Sex Clinics! Our longest episode.
51:24
51:24
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51:24Happy New Year Fans! Episode 40. A nice round number. Who would have thought we'd make it here. Together! And this week we continue the tradition of more nonsense. Including: -The Johnnies are back! -New Year's Eve AA meetings. Fun! -Cold wet Cape Code New Year's. More fun. More fentanyl please. -Phil sees a couple of attractive Jews on a bookstore…
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The Art of Being Unfriendly to Neighbors and Other Elements of New York Life
42:40
42:40
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42:40Apologies for the absence, but Bob is now a semi-orphan (send money). In other news, lots to discuss including: -Some guy in the neighborhood who Phil recognized and continually ignores. Or is it the other way around? -Opening an offal restaurant in New York. -Phil yaks about some stupid thing he did to some kid years ago. -opening a salon for fanc…
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It's Election time. We maybe voting but definitely podcasting. This week while you're waiting to cast your ballot listen the team as they yak about stuff: -Phil unveils a steamy tale of New Year's shenanigans. -Bob debates whether he will drag himself to vote. -The Great Migrant Baking Show! -And why those spicy cookbook publishers pander to white …
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Chicken a L'Orange and Shitty Hand Doctors
39:57
39:57
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39:57It's fall. Leaves are falling around the old treehouse. But the talk lives on. This week: -Bob flips Yom Kippur on its head. -A new historical village remembers the 1840s. Details to come. -More Randall's Island and ebiking tales. -Phil's possibly autistic hand doctor. -A new weekly (?) segment: go to dinner recipe. This week: chicken a l'orange. -…
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Episode 36 and we have a sponsor! Space W offers affordable Bronx hot air balloon adventures just to the low border of the atmosphere. That plus: -Bobby likes saying Hezbollah. How to find a little joy in warfare...Bihac! -Our business idea: a club for the lonely. -Sourdough starters -Union Square protesters and other humorous urban moments…
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Dead Mobsters, Mankinis, and Where's the Spicy Food?
36:55
36:55
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36:55We're back! In a very special 35th episode we cover: -The "accidental" death of a Genovese boss -Craving spice in summer whiteness -Phil's dad exercises in the land of the mankini -A book rec: Gay Talese's latest (yes he's alive and better than ever)
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Mid-Summer update: Provincetown, The Town With no Ladies
34:23
34:23
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34:23It's our annual mid-summer update! The team recaps a little personal news: -Bob's oral surgery adventures -Phil's Provincetown summer and gay pizza stuff -Making fencing more exciting
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Bob Sees a Bear...And Soon It's Bear Week!
39:43
39:43
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39:43Summer. Hopefully you'll survive a brief Treehouse hiatus. This week the team takes a look at: -Bob's neurotic backyard bird -Bob's backyard bear -Courtyard life in NYC. -Coating fish with everything bagel seasoning -Dramatic weatlhy gay partiers
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Holy Crap summer's here and the treehouse team looks into: -obnoxious Upper West Side shoppers and the relation to Middle East problems -the lure of boating -spartan bar mitzvahs -the city's new pizza box-shaped garbage cans
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Vanishing Husbands and a Coyote in Central Park
33:31
33:31
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33:31Springtime at the old treehouse! The team gets into: -an epidemic of cold-footed middle-aged husbands. -those darn protesters! -hoops analytics on the 4th Street courts -a coyote in Central Park. Guard your babies.
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Job-Stealing Brits and We Win a Nobel Prize
45:02
45:02
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45:02It's almost Passover and the Treehouse team is super-psyched! This week we look at: -The giant con of Masterpiece Theater and those role-stealing Brits -Phil's plan to win a Nobel Prize and save New York City -How the west side gets everything and the east side gets zilch -Yet another shitty Atlantic City mayor -Pickleball. Groan.…
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It's Springtime and the Treehouse team is in a cranky mood. They're pissed about: -non-fact based Easter table talk -Douchey pedestrians talking on their ear buds -Airplane food Plus: -Atlantic City still sucks and... -we forced Tammy Murphy to quit the senate race!
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How Long Does a Bucket of Costco Spinach Dip Last?
42:54
42:54
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42:54Another week in Treehouse Land. The team discuss: -Bob's Queen Mary II fantasy trip and the romance of life on the open Atlantic -Jewish slumlords -Shopping for one in Costco -Taylor Swift and the end of the New York bard -What to do with your excess pesto morning buns
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More hilarity as the Treehouse team discuss: -UberSurgery. Get a nose job in front of your apartment! -The New York Review of Books personals. -The Jersey senate race and our plan to turn Andy Kim into a Treehouse asset -The NFL, America's gayest sport.
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We're back after a few months' hiatus due to a dispute with corporate. In this episode the treehouse gang talks about: *This week's WASPY sponsor, a Groton grad and African food cart cook *Some white couple in Brooklyn who decided to add some funky sex stuff to their marriage. *Phil's recent E-bike accident, shitty pedestrians (and some good ones),…
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Our 25th Episode Spectacular!!! (a.k.a. Avocado Toast is a State of Mind)
30:16
30:16
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30:16We made it! It's our extra-special 25th episode, so please buckle up. Phil & Bob discuss: • sneaky Chinese tomatoes; • avocado toast and other white people stuff; • exploitative documentary filmmakers; • altruism in NYC (and Bob's extraordinary day of selflessness); and • a brief eulogy for Nobel laureate John Goodenough, the inventor of the lithiu…
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Summer's over and New York City is full of ... migrants! This week's sponsor: a public-private venture by the U.S. Dept. of Homeland Security and UPS designed to solve the migrant crisis. Phil & Bob also discuss: • Mayor Eric Adams' approach to the migrant issue and why he likes the word "mommy"; • Mitch McConnell' brain freeze; • Elaine Chao's sli…
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Phil & Bob vent about Mayor Eric Adams and his buffoonish tendencies. The Treehouse Team also tackles: • Oscar Schindler's daughter and her new Brooklyn school; • illiterate Jewish kids and the Mitzvah truck; • the French Resistance movement; • overly ambitious NYC mayors; • a real vibe killer at Cape Cod beach volleyball; • John Waters; and • the …
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Phil & Bob remember their friend Danny and reminisce about the unconventional personality test he created one night in K-town. The Treehouse team also explores: • exercising while upside-down; • Kenny Powers' opinion of triathletes; • why personal trainers are like psychotherapists; • intermittent fasting; • whether one would rather be blind or a d…
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Phil & Bob dive headfirst into colons, prostates, and breasts!!! The Treehouse team also investigates: • the current whereabouts of Dr. Zizmor (the subway dermatologist); • whether Al Pacino and his new baby will be cartoon buddies; • why Phil went "cruising" last Saturday; • Cafe Luxembourg; • The Criterion Channel; • fo$ter babies; • the nature o…
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Phil & Bob discuss the Hamptons and reveal some "breathtaking acts of selfishness" committed by its seasonal residents. The Treehouse Team also examines: • why trendy restaurants are like contemporary art; • the Long Island Expressway; • The Bank of Tokyo Trust's secret beach house in Amagansett; • East Hampton's infamous McMansion Manor; • Litchfi…
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Phil & Bob examine WASP culture in New York City. The Treehouse team also investigates: • why classy people like cold lunches; • Winston Churchill's legacy in Connecticut; • snooty private clubs (including but not limited to, The Metropolitan Club, The Union Club, and The Flo Rida Club); • George Plimpton, William Styron, and John Cheever; • why Ko…
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Phil & Bob share tales of their personal experiences with crime in New York City. The Treehouse team also investigates: • the ghost town in the middle of Manhattan; • why investors in commercial mortgage-backed securities should watch the movie Die Hard; • Phil's mugging in Central Park; • a homeless lunatic spitting on a beautiful woman; • Bob's m…
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The College Reunion Episode — Humble Brags & Marriage Twists
34:39
34:39
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34:39Phil & Bob flip through their college reunion book and discover that there's no such thing as too much information... The Treehouse team also reports on: • Average Joe's Community Theater Inititative, a non-profit arts organization sponsored by the Soros Foundation and Sir Elton John; • the art of humble bragging; • getting real personal in an alum…
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Phil & Bob wonder why college sports suck in New York City. The Treehouse team also examines: • Saint John's University (located in the non-ethnic part of Queens) • Peter Parker's boyhood home • the Notre Dame marching band • 5 happy places in New York City • drinking/whoring at Gotham Bar & Grill • rewatching The Sopranos • the shocking inefficien…
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Phil & Bob shine a light on the seedy underbelly of NYC's wellness subculture. The Treehouse team also explores: • how to buy drugs the old-fashioned way; • why doctors don't want you to know THIS ONE SECRET about marijuana and dementia (and autism); • Barry Diller and the powerful "Velvet Mafia" • a very mean Buddhist Jewish grinch lady; • Buddha'…
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Phil & Bob reveal the saddest place in New York City – the McDonald's on the corner of Delancey & Essex. The Treehouse team also provides insightful commentary on: The Homeless Depot™ (the solution to New York's street homelessness crisis), Julius & Ethel Rosenberg, Hampshire College, Bard College, Robert Moses (again), Mayor Mike Bloomberg, politi…
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Phil & Bob reveal why New York City grandmothers don't babysit on Wednesdays. The Treehouse team also explores: why senior citizens are essentially toddlers with cell phones, looming inter-generational war, The Connecticut School of Broadcasting, Sixteen Candles, Fran Lebowitz, hiking to JFK, another get-rich-quick business scheme, celebrity deaths…
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***Trigger Warning: we talk a lot about suicide in this episode*** Phil & Bob examine the New York Post's extensive coverage of suicides in Manhattan and the tabloid's particular fascination with victims who leap from luxury buildings. The Treehouse team also discusses: Nigerian counterfeit merchants at war, Canal Street infrastructure issues, Tibe…
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Phil & Bob get classy by discussing poetry and wine. The Treehouse team also covers: college admissions, racist babies, Amy Tan, Bob Dylan's Nobel Prize, wine snobbery, the surprising connection between Asperger's Syndrome and oenophiles, the Koch brother(s), food porn, and why you should never cook BangBang Noodles at home. Bonus feature: Phil & B…
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Phil & Bob talk real about mental health. (Completely coincidentally, this episode is sponsored by Invigorizify™ ... go ask your doctor for some!) The Treehouse team also shares its thoughts regarding: the effectiveness of Freudian psychoanalysis on 9 year-olds, "very special episodes" of 1980's sitcoms, having OCD before it was cool, Sigmund Freud…
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Phil & Bob explain why life is happy if you're the big fish in a little pond. The Treehouse team also explores: where to buy underwater lighting on a Saturday in New York City, the Biblical origins of the name Matthew, the Unabomber's hoodie, famous college professors, Brad Pitt, Friday Night Lights (TV show vs. movie), alternate side of the street…
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Phil & Bob delve into all things gambling – from slots to blackjack to pai gow to sports betting. The Treehouse team also explores: sex cults, recruiting people in Las Vegas for experimental missions to Mars, the decline of Atlantic City (a.k.a. "a vacant, dead, garbage-strewn strip with whores"), and a plan to revive Atlantic City by turning it in…
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Phil & Bob interview a very special guest, the 44th President of the United States of America, Barack Obama. We reminisce about the single greatest night of partying in the history of 1990's-era SoHo. Barack reveals what really happened inside the legendary Spy Bar on Greene Street, including our near-brawl with Leo DiCaprio and Tobey Maguire. Be p…
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Phil & Bob debate the merits of Jewish cuisine. The Treehouse team also examines: Chinatown x Lower East Side collaboration, eating pastrami sandwiches after brain surgery, veggie burgers on the Cape, sub-par European cookbooks, the decline of the British Empire, evil Russians who look Asian, and one very bad Jewish man (Bernie Madoff). * Special s…
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Phil & Bob conduct an investigation into Big Culture and uncover the shocking truth about attendance at the New York City Ballet. The Treehouse team also discusses: the new 92nd Street Y (on 1st Avenue between Sam's Vape Shop and the Drunken Monkey Thai Restaurant), peak idiocy over pre-school admissions, fisticuffs at the Union Square Barnes & Nob…
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Phil & Bob reveal the secret ingredient behind Olive Garden's success. The Treehouse team also examines: Soho's hottest chef (Sir Gordon Linton-Meyer), restaurant menus with too many adjectives, nose-to-tail eating, solving climate change by going to the gym, movies with happy endings, watching "Apocalypse Now" with an 8-year-old, and why nobody ea…
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Phil & Bob share personal tales from their respective pasts about feeling like a proverbial fish out of water. The Treehouse team also covers: Yorkshire Hathaway (an upstart challenger to Warren Buffett's Berkshire Hathaway), U.S. presidential daddies, Bain Capital, Greasers vs. Socs à la The Outsiders, the notorious Edgemont-Ardsley high school ri…
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Phil & Bob explain why all the rats in Manhattan have Type 2 diabetes. The Treehouse team also explores: Boston & Philly accents, Italy's national decline, hot summer days in NYC, junkies coaching soccer, suburban monotony, saltimbocca, and a revolutionary new invention in cooking — the Microchiller™.…
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Phil & Bob delve into a New York institution — the Korean deli. The Treehouse team also discusses: a potential private equity investment, dog poop (and dog soup), Jewish hitmen, the NY Mets, Bad Lieutenant, digging a giant tunnel to solve climate change, and a get-rich-quick scheme.By Phil Rubin & Bob Kim
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