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Clutch My Pearls

Clutch My Pearls

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Clutch My Pearls is a podcast where the host, Emily, doesn't read erotic fiction and her two friends, Barbara and Vanessa, tell her all about their favorite smut! Join them every Tuesday as they dive into a different raunchy read and find out if Emily clutches her pearls! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Come hop on a motorcycle with the Girls! This week, Vanessa is presenting “Wolf.e” by Paisley Hope! When sexy motorcycle president Gabriel Wolfe crosses paths with the beautiful Brinley Rose Beaumont (Brin for short), his engine starts to roar! This book had the girls squealing and squirming all while laughing and clutching! Play hide-and-seek, sti…
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Come smell the lilacs with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting “Alive and Wells” by Bailey Hannah! This is book one in the Wells Ranch series and it had the girls kicking their little feet! When city babe Cecily Kennedy has to escape her bad marriage, she seeks refuge by helping out at Wells Ranch. Fresh air isn’t the only thing Cecily gets …
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Come attend Montridge University with The Girls! This week Vanessa is presenting “Forged in Blood” by Sadie Kincaid! This why-choose dark paranormal fantasy is book one in the Broken Bloodlines series. When little orphan Ophelia Hart (“pee pee pants” to her bullies) is offered an opportunity to attend the magical Montridge University she of course …
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Come fly the friendly skies with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting “AirPeen” by Holly Wilde! This book is so educational for all aviation enthusiasts. When flying Sentient Air, our FMC “Princess” really needed to relax, so she opted for an upgrade into the Exclusive Section. None of us have ever flown Exclusive so this book offers a peek b…
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Come wear a claw with The Girls! This week Vanessa is presenting “Kiss of the Basilisk” by Lindsay Straube. Originally called Split or Swallow, this is one of the most unhinged books Vanessa has ever read, so buckle up! When Temperance Verus (Tem for short) is ready to compete to win the prince’s hand in marriage, she has a few things to learn. Tem…
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Come refuse to speak about what happened two years ago with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting “People We Meet On Vacation” by Emily Henry! After a brief stop through Bible study and Lilith Fair, The Girls finally get around to the book where we meet NYC travel blogger Poppy and her longtime Ohio teacher friend Alex. Poppy and Alex used to …
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Come get snowed in with The Girls! This week Vanessa is presenting “Chasing The Wild” by Elliot Rose! When veterinarian-in-training Layla Birch has some loose ends to tie up- like getting rid of her scammer boyfriend Kaycee, she heads to his small mountain town in the winter. When she meets a dark, sexy, rugged, older man named Colton Wilder she so…
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Come catch a flight with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting “Puck Me Secretly” by Odette Stone! This is the first book in the Vancouver Wolves Hockey series. When Aurora “Rory” Ashford is on a flight and seated next to hottie Max Logan, their connection is so powerful the plane crashes! Rory can’t help but confess to her seatmate that she h…
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Come relieve your stress with The Girls! This week Vanessa is presenting “The Charlie Method” by Elle Kennedy! This hot-off-the-presses book is #3 in the Campus Diary series. When student woman in STEM Charlotte Kingston gets super stressed out it gets her super horned up. When it’s time to release some of that stress, she becomes Charlie, a less i…
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Come sweat it out in the sauna with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting “The Professional” by Kresley Cole! When hottie mafia enforcer Aleksandr 'The Siberian' Sevastyan is tasked with bringing Nebraskan Natalie Porter back to her mob boss father in Russia, he not only breaks her “manalyzer,” he breaks into her house! As much as he tries to …
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Come back to your hometown with The Girls! This week Vanessa is presenting “Done and Dusted” by Lyla Sage! When Clementine “Emmy” Ryder heads home to small town Wyoming, she runs into none other than her brother’s-hottie-best-friend Luke Brooks! Emmy strolls into the single bar in town, and under the light of the neon moon, she and Luke realize the…
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Come into the alleyway with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting “Wicked Sexy” by J.T. Geissinger! When badass ex-special ops hottie Connor Hughes is tasked with helping a major movie studio stop an evil cyber criminal from exposing them, he enlists badass hacker girl Tabitha West. Tabitha isn’t like all the other badass hacker girls with pie…
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Come climb a ladder with The Girls! This week Vanessa is presenting “The Pucking Wrong Date” by C.R. Jane! Bring yourself back into the “it’s just a book” mindset you had when The Girls covered the previous “Pucking” books in Episodes 27 and 41. When Disney Prince hottie Walker Davis is bit by the love bug for a mysterious beauty in a wig, he goes …
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Come pee your pants with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting “Bratva Devil” by Sonja Grey! This is the second book in the Medvedev Bratva series, but you know we hardly ever read anything in order. When hot Bratva boss Volodya accidentally kidnaps the wrong girl, they make an agreement where Maddie will clean his house and he will take LOTS …
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Come get a million followers with The Girls! This week Vanessa is presenting “Twisted Lies” by Ana Huang! This is book four in the ‘Twisted’ series that the girls also covered from Episode 12. When influencer Stella Alonzo is needing to up her social media content and busy business boy Christian Harper needs hot dates to events, they decide to do w…
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Come celebrate Emily’s birthday with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting “A Deal with the Devil” by Elizabeth O’Roark! This is book #1 in The Grumpy Devils series (The Girls covered book #3 of this series in Episode 28!) When Natalie (Tali, or Lady Di for short) gets an offer from her friend to leave her Margaritaville job and fill in as a p…
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Come watch fireworks with The Girls! This week Vanessa is presenting “The Fine Print” by Lauren Asher! This is book one in the Dreamland Billionaires series and it had the girls kicking their little feet! When busy business boy Rowan’s grandpa (Walt Disney) dies, he must bring up profits for Dreamland (Disneyland) in order to get his inheritance. T…
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Come under the sea with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting “Whispers of the Deep” by Emma Hamm. As one of many engineers, Mira has been a woman in STEM keeping her underwater city in working order. When she has a run in with a scary merman, Arges, who is determined to kill humans, something between them compels him to keep her alive. Arges …
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Come enroll with The Girls! This week Vanessa is presenting “Zodiac Academy” by Caroline Peckham and Susanne Valenti! This dark academia romance is just one in a long series of the same name. In this book, we meet twins Darcy and Tory Vega who learn they’re the Gemini twins of Fae Origin (?) and off to Zodiac Academy they go! Once they arrive, thei…
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Come braid hair with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting “Cleat Cute” by Meryl Wilsner! This sapphic rivals to lovers novel follows Grace Henderson and Phoebe Matthews as they attend training for the US National Women’s Soccer Team…or are they in New Orleans on the pro team…maybe the club team? Don’t worry, Barbara gives a full and detailed …
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Come for a ride with The Girls! This week Vanessa is presenting “Passenger Princess” by Morgan Elizabeth! This grumpy/sunshine book follows Ava, who enters the Miss Americana beauty pageant on a whim to support her friends. Ava (Miss New Jersey) actually wins the grand title, much to the frustration of Miss Utah! Ava is assigned a big, handsome bod…
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Come skiing with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting “Can I Tell You Something?” by Holly June Smith! This snowy love story follows Hannah as she goes on her family’s annual Christmas ski trip at a French chalet. This year, her brother brings a friend named Cameron with a familiar voice…Hannah instantly recognizes Cameron as her favorite aud…
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Come get cozy with The Girls! This week Vanessa is presenting “Whispers of December” by Maisie Myers. This forced-proximity one-bed novella follows our FMC December who is trying to heal her broken heart at her Grandpa’s cabin in the woods. December’s peace and quiet is busted by Paxton Rhodes, whose car broke down in the snow with no way to get a …
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Come get the band back together with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting “Wreck The Halls” by Tessa Bailey! This holiday romance follows Melody and Beat (yes his name is BEAT) who are both the children of rockstars who swore they would never play together again. When approached by a reality show to get the duo to come together and play for o…
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Come compete for Christmas with The Girls! This week Vanessa is presenting “How My Neighbor Stole Christmas” by Meghan Quinn! When Storee Taylor comes back to Kringletown (not Whoville, but not not Whoville) to visit her Aunt Cindy (not Cindy Lou Hou, but not not Cindy Lou Hou) she is reunited with former friend Cole Black. It’s Aunt Cindy’s dying …
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Come open your box with The Girls! This week Barbara is giving the gift of two books! First is the 8 page novella “Milked by Santa Clause” by CA Carbury. When sexy, Christmas-loving Mindy is visited by hot Santa, he’s ready to eat her cookies, but Mindy doesn’t have any milk! Thanks to Santa’s Christmas bifurcating magic she can make some herself! …
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Come scroll for thirst traps with The Girls! This week Vanessa is presenting Lights Out by Navessa Allen! When busy ER babe Ali comes across masked hottie ‘The Faceless Man’ on TikTok, she does what any gal would do: she likes, subscribes and comments! Little does Ali know, the masked hottie is actually her friend’s roommate, Josh! Josh decides to …
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Come sleep on the sofa with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting “Guarding Temptation” by Talia Hibbert! After an educational update on Blue Eyed Kayla Jade, the girls eventually get to the book! Guarding Temptation follows investigative journalist Nina Chapman who is having to hide out from angry Brexit supporters with the only man she feels…
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Come confess your sins with The Girls! This week Vanessa is presenting “Priest” by Sierra Simone! This sinful book follows Poppy as she moves to a small town to get away from her troubling past. When she turns to God for clarity, she meets hot priest Tyler Bell. As Poppy’s confessions to Father Bell get more steamy, the tension between them grows u…
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Come take a limo ride with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting “King of Wrath” by Ana Huang! This is book 1 in the Kings of Sin series and there is plenty of sin! When busy business billionaire Dante Russo is blackmailed into an arranged marriage to mega babe Vivian Lau, stars collide and diamonds sparkle! This book had the girls slipping ou…
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Come enjoy some ice cream with The Girls! This week Vanessa is presenting “Butcher & Blackbird” by Brynne Weaver! This dark romance features Sloane and Rowan who are rival murderers. But don’t worry, they only kill bad people! When they decide to join forces for a friendly competition, things get VERY friendly. This book has it all! Mummy mommy iss…
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You’re invited to Barbara’s Dino birthday party with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting “Triceratops and Bottoms” by Lola Faust! When super horned up sex addict Erin gets bored with what the alien future has to offer, she travels back in time to have her needs met! Unfortunately Erin couldn’t go back to WW1 trench foot times, so she goes to…
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Come celebrate the one year anniversary of the podcast with The Girls! Our first episode came out one year ago, and to celebrate, Emily and Vanessa birthday blindside Barbara! Emily (yes, Emily) is presenting her very first book: “Icebreaker” by Hannah Grace! When bossy figure skater Anastasia Allen is forced to share a skating rink with cinnamon r…
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Come pump gas with The Girls! This week Vanessa is presenting “Reckless”, the fourth book from the Chestnut Springs series by Elsie Silver! This book follows Winter as she comes to Chestnut Springs to reconcile with her sister Summer (from book 1 and Episode 25). Just as she is getting into town, she meets hunky bull rider Theo, who manages to tell…
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Come stretch out your groin with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting “Play Along”, the fourth book from The Windy City series by Liz Tomforde! When hottie shortstop Isaiah talks to PT cutie Kennedy K in the bathroom, he is suddenly sooo obsessed with her. But they work together which is soooo forbidden..too bad they just got married in Vegas…
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Come say “yes sir” with The Girls! From The Salacious Players Club series, Vanessa is presenting “Praise” by Sarah Cate! When Charlie (Charlotte for short and direct) breaks up with her stupid boyfriend, she has to go collect a rent check from his father, Emerson Grant. Little does she know she’ll be on her hands and knees begging for daddy’s prais…
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Come experience a whole new world with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting “Desperate Measures” from the Wicked Villain series by Katee Robert! This is a totally different interpretation of the Aladdin universe! When Yasmina (not Jasmine, but yes Jasmine) wakes up to the news her dad is dead, she must run with consensual non consent into Jaf…
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Come slam the door with The Girls! This week Vanessa is presenting “Unhinged” by Vera Valentine! This book truly lives up to its name and will leave you wondering if your door is a descendent of Zeus! The story is entirely from the door’s POV (yes, it’s a literal DOOR). It’s the door to Tana’s apartment, he’s been keeping an eye on her, and he want…
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Come confess your sins with The Girls! This week Vanessa is presenting “Sinners Anonymous” by Somme Sketcher. In an effort to save her nature preserve, bird loving Rory (or Aurora for short…) is engaged to a bad bulldog-looking man named Big Al. But as she soon finds out, his hottie nephew Angelo is the one with the real power. Is it too late for h…
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Come save humanity with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting the world premiere of “Celestial Glorbosis: Of Peace and Poimals” by Jace Hammercock. This episode is unique because The Girls are joined by Jace Hammercock (pen name of Geoff Ramsey and Gavin Free from the Regulation Podcast) for an exclusive interview to discuss whatever the hell …
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Come enjoy getting scared with The Girls! This week Vanessa is continuing her bad boy era with “Haunting Adeline” by HD Carlton. This book was not only heavily recommended by our listeners, it comes with a FULL page of trigger warnings! The Girls are all in and along for the ride…but ready to get out by the end. When scare-happy Adeline moves into …
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Count to three and come with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting “The Maddest Obsession,” the second book of the Made Series also seen in episodes 2 and 16! In this mafia romance we have Christian Allister, the cold, controlling, orderly, OCD counting, sexy mafia man who also works for the FBI! Then there’s Gianna, our sexy, sassy, can’t be …
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Come pay off your father’s debt with The Girls! This week Vanessa is presenting “Den of Vipers” by K.A. Knight! This why choose (wide shoes) dark romance has everything…maybe too much for some! When mafia hotties Ryder, Kenzo, Garrett, and Diesel collect their debt in the form of sassy babe Roxy…she doesn’t go willingly. Thankfully everyone involve…
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Come test positive with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting “Kissing the Coronavirus” by M.J. Edwards! This 15 page novella (if you don’t count page 9) was brought as revenge on Vanessa for blindsiding Barbara in the July Patreon-exclusive episode. When woman-in-STEM Dr. Alexa Ashingtonford is working on a cure for the newly discovered COVID…
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Come climb Jacob’s Ladder with The Girls! This week Vanessa is presenting “The Pucking Wrong Guy” by C.R. Jane! As we continue the “Pucking Wrong" series we started in episode 27, we meet Ari Lancaster and Blake (or Serena!). When Ari crosses paths with his long lost foster care first love, he doesn’t let her know he recognizes her. Instead he brin…
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Come ask “What’s in the box?!” with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting with a physical copy of “Ransom” by Julie Garwood! This book is set in the medieval Scottish highlands and follows our FMC Gillian and MMC Brodick! There are also at least 13 more people and since Emily is not into historical romance or meeting a lot of characters, Barba…
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Come throw lettuce heads out of the top window with The Girls! This week Vanessa is presenting “Heartless” by Elsie Silver! Part of the Chestnut Springs series, this book brings us back to the cowboy brothers we met in Episode 25 “Flawless”. This book is focused on grumpy cowboy Cade who needs help with his little boy Luke. When fun city girl Willa…
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Come collect a debt with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting “Ruthless Creatures” by JT Geissinger! Part of the Queens and Monsters series, this book brings us back into the world of mafia romance. Five years after Natalie’s soon to be husband disappears, tall hunky Kage with a K shows up to collect a debt. But what is the debt?! Don’t start…
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Follow The Girls to the second star to the right and straight on till morning…to Neverland! This week Vanessa is presenting “Devourer of Men” by Nikki St Crowe! Part of a series of the reimagined Peter Pan universe, this book is focused on Wendy, Captain Hook, and the crocodile. But this Croc is a man who eats..peanuts? When Wendy goes missing for …
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Come cure your daddy issues with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting “Caught Up” by Liz Tomforde! The Girls continue the Windy City Series, first seen in episodes 1 and 21! When independent pastry chef Miller Montgomery leaves her commitment-free life in a van to come nanny for Major League Baseball Daddy Kai Rhodes, it’s a home run! As alwa…
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