Best WesternPromises Podcasts (2025)

hey check out this here: patreon.com/westernpromises (want to know why Beaumont died and is in hell now? want to hear an exclusive interview with Satan the devil himself? yeah, click that lil link playboy. It is finally here, the office chair episode. we lost one host, but gained a beautiful discussion of office chairs. I really dont want to say to…

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184 Enter the Matrix, Queen? 1:05:02

Play Pause

2M ago1:05:02

1:05:02

jive on this lil neo, up in my damn hands, i be havin two pills that are different like. one of them mugs will install a copy of Enter the Matrix onto your personal computer and configure all of the settings for optimal performance. Now this other pill, that will pink sock you. The choice is hella yours, blood. In all seriousness the economy is jac…

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183 Copyright Copywrong 1:23:44

2M ago1:23:44

1:23:44

despite requesting the exact opposite, we are being tread upon. the brightest fires are always stamped out the quickest. but not us. not western promises. join us, join the resistance by taking a [redacted] to [redacted] and [redacted] while he watches from the corner slowly jacking off. or join patreon.com/westernpromises and we will do the heavy …

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180 Bethel Boys 1:05:02

3M ago1:05:02

1:05:02

let me set the scene: you are freshly 19 years old. you have dedicated your life to Jehovah, both privately in prayer, and publicly through baptism. you have pursued a life in service to God, and devote a large amout of your time to proselytizing. You have never seen an R rated movie, you dont listen to rap or heavy metal music, and Wii Sports is y…

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178 a penis doesnt listen to the opinion of balls 1:17:24

4M ago1:17:24

1:17:24

what more is there to say. classic CLASSIC episode EPISODE this week. 2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-22-2- hosts only ONLY just for tonight what are you waiting for kid? thje rest of your life is waiting

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177 Benin City is for Lovers 1:08:18

4M ago1:08:18

1:08:18

Happy valentines DAy everyone. Join us for a world tour around the world (tour) listening to nigerian evangelical radio stations for one, for two: an american guy on a radio station in Cape Town South Africa. the introduction of anti-kevin, a sick new variant. down, left, up, down, a, a, a, select to unlock this powerful fighter. In the age of arti…

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173 Lost in the Corporate World 1:27:41

5M ago1:27:41

1:27:41

this one is all about the curious incident of the dog in the night time. dont know what that is? heh, i didnt either kid. settle in, let us show you. youre one of us now. in this gang, we are brothers, bound by blood and honor. here give me a kiss, the way brother do. deep and hard. soft lips, hard tounge. bang your teeth in to mine, theyare fake, …

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171: Christmas Spooktacular 2024 2:46:26

5M ago2:46:26

2:46:26

come one come all to experience the schizophrenic fever dream Resident Evil 1 Christmas mod with the fellas and like 10 of our dearest friends from the discord server. strap in for a nearly 3 hour festive wild ride and experience yuletide treats the likes of which you've never seen such as: -batshit insane dialogue that has constantly shifting volu…

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170 can a computer spell ICUP? 1:15:10

6M ago1:15:10

1:15:10

look folks, love them or hate them, computers are here to stay. from helping cashiers tally up how much money you owe to a five star military general determining just how many civilians he can kill and still get away with it, these electronic assistants are becoming commonplace in every industry. And while it seems like just yesterday, the ability …

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168 [FRIENDSHIPCULTGANG] 1:38:48

6M ago1:38:48

1:38:48

on:time hosts:3 identity:stolen lets get (castrate) this (these) money (boys with beautiful voices)

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167 A Spiritual Sound 1:09:48

6M ago1:09:48

1:09:48

look, we missed a week, sue Paris. Go into town, hire a lawyer, and file a lawsuit against Paris. That is what you should do. This episode is all about virtual reality or #VR. that is the only topic and we are experts on it. #gaming #gamingguys #guys #gaymers #socialism #communism #holdinghands

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166 Non-Fungible Jest 1:27:38

6M ago1:27:38

1:27:38

sarcasm and jokes were often the bottle in which clinical depressives sent out their most plangent screams for someone to care and help them. - roland the farter stalker 2 is out now kingdom come deliverance rules never learn to read, never surrender

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165 The Roads are Triangles 1:23:54

7M ago1:23:54

1:23:54

what you see is what you dont get. its a twist, a spin on a classic. an inversion,a clever deceit. youve been had, you have been bested by a crafty adversary. fear not, however, he has taken mercy on you. perhaps he has seen something in you worth cultivating. dont be so naive as to assume selflessness to be his motivation, surely he sees a way to …

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164 Democracy Dies in Dankness 1:42:25

7M ago1:42:25

1:42:25

This is my fight song (hey) Take back my life song (hey) Prove I'm alright song (hey, ha) My power's turned on (hey) Starting right now, I'll be strong (hey) I'll play my fight song (hey) And I don't really care if nobody else believes (ha) 'Cause I've still got a lot of fight left in me

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162 Dr Mario 1:22:03

7M ago1:22:03

1:22:03

yo whats up playboy? friday? hell yeah. the weekend. time to relax. hey why dont you do something crazy? how bout you pick up your phone and call your like 3rd or 4th favorite friend? just call him out of the blue and talk. just TALK. you never know with these kinds of things. on this episode we dive into the wonderful world of PLOUFF BOOKS. PLOUFF…

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161 Aberration in the Heartland of Equestria 1:18:24

8M ago1:18:24

1:18:24

yeah no my godbrother told me that if you pick kirby and set the cpu to ice climbers and select hyrule castle and leave the game on for 2 months you will unlock oppenheimer. yeah its true, and he is so powerful. you do not want to make him mad. if you pick him the master hand wont even fight you, he just runs away. what is he btw? some guy playing …

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158 Fistula 1:35:37

8M ago1:35:37

1:35:37

okay now im serious, subscribe to our patreon: patreon.com/westernpromises.com oh boy we are so back. teratomas, fistulas, kris angel uterus freak, current events, ahmeds big day, Mohamed's Theorem, metal gear solid V, standing on business. this week all three boys are in it to win it and we can see that checkered flag. kept ya waiting huh? also i …

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155 Monster Rancher 1:05:41

9M ago1:05:41

1:05:41

do not tap the glass, dont touch the poo, look dont touch. everything i just said? NEWSFLASH: its been said before. But do you really understand? Either way listen up, tune in, sit down, and do the work. you ever heard of tool assisted speedrunning? you know Frodo Baggins? you think you know Greg? oh and im sure famous B too? w/e, get real.…

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154 Big Beautiful Children 1:30:14

10M ago1:30:14

1:30:14

look, I know the podcast has been bad, okay? Paris is MIA, my mic broke, and Kevin is chinese. But we are fixing it. We are fixing everything. Paris's disney cruise is on its way back, i got a new mic and we are replacing Kevin with an indigenous queer AFAB Dominican undertale speedrunner. its looking up. its all going up. lets get it. lets get all…

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153 Who "Watches" the "Watchmen" 1:44:49

10M ago1:44:49

1:44:49

look, we missed a week. i could give you excuses, i could tell you everything that is in my heart, i could spill the beans but It just happened. it happens. jewishcostalelite joins me this week to talk about watches.

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150 The Tight Hour 1:07:44

11M ago1:07:44

1:07:44

subscribe to our patreon to support rights patreon.com/westernpromises Ness hitting kirby with a baseball bat the sound of teeth scraping against a cheap fork manipulate all about KINK. KINK what would you do if your strongest desire was to remove your manhood? make an appointment? listen to this. its time.…

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Western Promises Trailer? 5:53

11M ago5:53

5:53

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1-800-PROMISES #1: fun in the solar powered sun 12:29

11M ago12:29

12:29

wow! an amazing job opportunity just lined up for one of the boys with some schizophrenic lunatic in florida running a scam solar business. will kevin pass the phone interview? will his r*tarded nephew make a mess during the orientation? does this guy have the capability of actually understanding what another human says? only one way to find out...…

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148 To Me, U R A Queen 58:14

11M ago58:14

58:14

patreon.com/westernpromises for bonus episodes. ur not gonna wanna miss it. the bonus episode we did was really bad last time i uploaded an episode I told myself that this time I would actually write a description of what we discuss but man i really really really dont want to do that. it seems like so much work. but imma be 100 with you, we talk mi…

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145 Fighting Men in Water 01 1:17:00

12M ago1:17:00

1:17:00

patreon.com/westernpromises okay, its incel time. okay now its royalty free sound effect time okay now its balldo time okay now its late episode time

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141 NO EDITING/PURE/WHOLE 1:11:03

1y ago1:11:03

1:11:03

no time, cant edit

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138 Chirpin on tha Beltway 1:11:45

1y ago1:11:45

1:11:45

up to 3 bonus episodes a month!?!?! subscribe to our patreon: patreon.com/westernpromises computer, open lotus notes. computer, start new note. new line. dear computer, this week on my radio we talk about dropping it into third gear going 60 on the beltway and chirping the dang tires. end note. computer, open secret diary file. new entry. dear comp…

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136 Getting Head to the second power 1:28:31

1y ago1:28:31

1:28:31

better late than clever patreon.com/westernpromises look here is the episode. no intro, joined by LITR. we talk two headed girl marriage, india pakistan relations, spermworld, israel palestine, red dead redemption 2 listen to lifting in the ruins:https://open.spotify.com/show/3ffjUb7V8IJROheAj3HFtH?si=f32ee117d9d54eff…

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unlocked wpp031 Edward Gay Thumbs 1:11:34

1y ago1:11:34

1:11:34

the impending eclipse fucked us up. got us all turned up and mixed around and goofed unlocking a bonus episode this week from our patreon at patreon.com/westernpromises

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132 The Da Vinci Chode 1:15:42

1y ago1:15:42

1:15:42

support the show for 3+ bonus episodes every single day(month) !!! patreon.com/westernpromises IN THIS EPISODE WE TALK ABOUT: Aella's birthday g@ngB@ng with an exclusive interview with the virgin that attended Chris Brown's penish Dune i think? our fans *hands making heart emoji* our enemies *lil purple devil guy emoji* halo 2 and da masta chief an…

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131 this is for you, melinda 1:12:55

1+ y ago1:12:55

1:12:55

this week? oh youre talking about this week? well this week we kick it ooooold schooool style. just beaumont, just paris, just big big laughs. hell divers 2, balatro, transracialism, autism, botulism, populism? support the show for discord access and 3 to four bonus episodes a week. Youre gonna like the way you give us $5 a month, i guarantee it. p…

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UNLOCKED wpp 042 The Champagne of Opiates 1:15:40

1+ y ago1:15:40

1:15:40

Beaumont and Kevin are on their honeymoon and they didn't want to take their microphones

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129 The Call of the Noid 50:18

1+ y ago50:18

50:18

//BEGIN LIE// Limited time only, the next 20 people to subscribe to our patreon get a year free! //END LIE// Subscribe for bonus episodes every week patreon.com/westernpromises ummm i paused my little sister for sale for this? let me get this straight: eat, game, repeat? Hold on, youre telling me mia khalifa has collected ALL of the dragon balls!?…

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128 Reel Time with Bill Gar 1:08:03

1+ y ago1:08:03

1:08:03

Subscribe to our patreon for a bonus episode each week plus access to all urinal and stall shots patreon.com/westernpromises In this episode we are joined by Guy to discuss the real history behind the hit movie 300, the super dark effed up world of palworld, we learn what an earthrocker is, how beer is brewed ethically by sluts, the FAA hiring scan…

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126 Dragon Ball Z Bi 1:05:12

1+ y ago1:05:12

1:05:12

support show pls: patreon.com/westernpromises weekly bonus episodes and lil guys did you guys see the news? what happened over there? crazy stuff. insane. glad it is being taken care of though. and by who, even. really couldnt ask for a better team to do what it is that they are doing. Also in my personal life that happened, and it really changed m…

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124 Lunacidsuit Larry 1:00:01

1+ y ago1:00:01

1:00:01

pronouns? in MY autistic first person dungeon crawler game? next youre gonna tell me they took away sobe and that beloved superstar rapper viper kidnapped a methhead and locked her in a garage with a piss soaked mattress and used diapers lying around everywhere click here and kindly subscribe dear: https://www.patreon.com/westernpromises also liste…

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The G-Spot 003 Warhammer 40K Rogue Boglim 1:02:45

1+ y ago1:02:45

1:02:45

On this episode the mad lads discuss Cobra’s all time disaster stream, rogue trader, and whether or not meth makes your dick not work

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118 Happy Thanksgiving Again 1:11:48

1+ y ago1:11:48

1:11:48

patreon.com/westernpromises support the show and get bonus episodes each week and groomer discord access happy thanksgiving everyone. fill up on turkey and cakes and figs and sweet breads. slide up to the table and dig into this gristle with me. really get in there. dig your canines in. let your salivia pour over it. we are in this together. togeth…

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116 Keep On Tuggin w/ TLC Tugger Ron 1:23:38

1+ y ago1:23:38

1:23:38

wow what can we even say here. We are joined by the inventor of the TLC Tugger for this weeks Western Promises. We talk about the systematic mutilation of our nations men that is circumcision and also we get into toothbrush engineering. folks, you cannot miss this episode. I dont know how to tell you, if you dont listen to this you will actually di…

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The G-Spot 001 Toyota Warthog 55:10

1+ y ago55:10

55:10

In this podcast Paris and G will teach you how to please a woman. We will talk about internet stuff that Paris missed while he was getting his gender studies degree at Bard. We will talk about small trucks. We will teach you how to tap into the noosphere to receive untold wisdom. All you have to do, is click play.…

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115 The Spear of Longinus 1:07:28

1+ y ago1:07:28

1:07:28

long ginus. im a positive that is how they say it in the show. someone please find me a clip of them saying it bonus episodes? patreon.com/westernpromises access to the best discord of all time? patreon.com/westernpromises

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111 There is an Earwig Under Alaska 1:01:22

1+ y ago1:01:22

1:01:22

dont you find it funny how this always happens? you will be minding your own business, drinking a soft kombucha on the beach listening to banana pancakes and thinking "wow how could anything be better" when suddenly you are overcome with an impending sense of doom and deep embarassment. you feel it in your chest at first but then it starts to sink …

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108 Gone Phishing 1:23:03

1+ y ago1:23:03

1:23:03

mexican aliens, steve harvey as the joker, Las Vegas getting pwnd, splitting your dick in two to ear extra money, starfield, brother, what didnt we talk about on this episode. A no-show guest couldnt stop us. Also help me rein in Kevin, he is going a little to hard recently and im worried about mass appeal. or at the very least subscribe to our pat…

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107 They Put The Whole Damn Game In Space 1:22:40

1+ y ago1:22:40

1:22:40

pronouns? in my space video game? whats next? a lizzo mcdonalds meal? c'mon. bro the west has fallen, just get in the car. we are going to crystal burger also man what if you wanted like more of this show? patreon.com/westernpromises

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106 Try That In a Long Beach 1:07:31

2y ago1:07:31

1:07:31

if hercules missed when he shot out the sun do you think the arrow would have ever stopped? If atlas didnt shrug, do you think he ever would? if i was good once, was i am good as i ever was? this week we mourn the loss of our valued employee cootie. he was a real pain the the ass and he kept chewing off the erasers on all of the pencils in the supp…

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105 What if they dropped the oppenheimer bombs on college algebra instead? 59:28

2y ago59:28

59:28

can you imagine that? then we wouldnt have to go to 5th period. I hate that class. Why are we taking something called "college algebra" in frigging high school anyways? did someone miss a memo? hello!!! also Mrs. Lightfoot is so fat and flabby, how am i supposed to figure out who the hell this X guy is when all i can focus on is her flabby ass arms…

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104 The Episode Where We Clip the 1 Minute We Talked About Baldur's Gate So Kevin Gets a PAX Media Badge 1:23:37

2y ago1:23:37

1:23:37

Here's the scoop: We are NOT neglecting the podcast. The problem? Beaumont was killed in whatever bullshit hurricane baby ass rain earthquake he's complaining about, Paris got lost in a Bass Pro Shop, and Kevin sold his computer for 900 VHS tapes of Corky Romano (unopened). Good riddance, if you ask me, heh! Heh! Heh! Baldur's Gate sex% run support…

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102 Donnie Darko 1:00:44

2y ago1:00:44

1:00:44

damn what if you wanted to listen to another hour of this? wow you think you could? fuck shit, wow woah. i really wonder if you could patreon.com/westernpromises bonus content regularly now, that is a western promise

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099 Sphere and Loving in Las Vegas 1:14:44

2y ago1:14:44

1:14:44

listen to lifting in the ruins and uncle teds cabin have you seen this goddamn thing? i love it. The sphere is more important than the drawing your daughter made in therapy that accurately depicts her trauma in a way that will allow her to move on and grow into a beautiful and fuctioning adult. It is better than that one recipe you really nailed wh…