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Welcome to Astrology Zoned: A Susan Miller Fan Podcast! Laura von Holt (Taurus) and Alex Gershuny (Scorpio), superfans of Susan Miller and longtime readers of Astrology Zone, share their (non-professional) thoughts on astrology and the woman, the mystic, the oracle herself: Susan Miller. Each month Laura and Alex will break down their Astrology Zone horoscopes and discuss why Susan Miller’s combination of exciting predictions and practical advice causes them to return to her site month after ...
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IT’S TAURUS SEASON!!!! Which means that it’s birthday time for Laura, the pod’s very own magnificent Taurus! As usual, Taurus is the celestial favorite (or maybe just Susan’s favorite). In fact, all of the signs have wonderful things awaiting them if they can just make it to the flawless new moon on May 26. Laura begins the episode by telling Alex …
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IT’S YOUR TIME TO SHINE, ARIES!!!! And Susan Miller says you can expect good news throughout your birthday month! However, you may want to put on your beekeeper suit just to be safe because everyone should be ready to enter the prickly briar patch and weather cosmic storms. Laura and Alex begin with a recap of Susan’s Note, and it is all business: …
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IT’S YOUR BIRTHDAY, PISCES!!!! This month is absolutely full of planets planeting. There are retrogrades, eclipses, trines, sextiles, and anything else one might want (or not want) from the universe. The episode begins with a recap of Laura and Alex’s Valentine’s Day. The gals listened closely last month when Susan Miller warned that the day could …
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY, AQUARIUS!!!! We made it to February, a month with two new moons (sort of) and a challenging full moon. For better or worse, all the signs are in it together this month, and Susan Miller is here to advise on how to wrestle the full moon dragons to the ground. The gals kick off the episode with the Embezzlement Update. Were any of Sus…
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HAPPY CAPRICORN SEASON!!!! And Happy New Year! Laura and Alex are back for the fifth year of the podcast after dutifully following Susan Miller’s instructions in January 2021 to create a show. Little did Susan know that it would be all about her! The episode begins with the Embezzlement Update: Laura tells the listeners about her exciting embezzlem…
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IT’S YOUR TIME TO SHINE, SAGITTARIUS!!!! Despite multiple planets retrograding this December, Sagittarius should have a wonderful birthday month. They can even expect some international travel! Or at the very least, some international FedEx shipments. This month, the gals have embezzlement updates to share, as well as a hot take from a commenter on…
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SCORPIO!!!! Enjoy November, Scorps! In a special twist, there are two full moons this month and Susan Miller believes that Scorpio will enjoy both of them. Laura kicks off this episode with a tale of finding treasure in the wild. In this case, the treasure is the 2025 Astrology Zone calendar and the wild is a boutique in Cold Spring…
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HAPPY LIBRA SEASON!!! According to Susan Miller, October is going to be a great month for Libra. So get out there, rack up some achievements, and be a money magnet before a bunch of planets retrograde. For better or worse, the planets are planeting big time right now. The episode starts with a discussion of Wordle strategies and Laura’s recent trav…
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY, VIRGO!!!!! It’s eclipse season again, but don’t worry, Virgo, because there are positive birthday vibes and good surprises coming your way! The gals begin the episode by reminiscing about when they met Susan Miller on the streets of New York three years ago. What a time! Neither Laura nor Alex have any embezzlement to report (transl…
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HAPPY LEO SEASON!!!! You have a lot going your way this month, Leo! Susan Miller is adamant that you make a birthday wish. Fortunately you have plenty of time to contemplate your desires because this directive was published with the horoscopes on August 1! The episode begins with a chilling story of cybercrime, as Laura recounts how she was almost …
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ATTENTION, CANCER!!!! You’ve got a great birthday month ahead of you, so make the most of it before mischievous scamp Mercury retrogrades and ruins the fun. The gals start this episode with a catch-up that includes Laura’s mastering of international relations and fun facts related to tennis. But the star of Susan Miller’s content this July is her n…
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IT’S YOUR BIRTHDAY, GEMINI!!!! In your honor, Susan posted her horoscopes on the first day of the month. She couldn’t wait to inform you that it’s the start of your Emerald Year! Get ready for a bountiful harvest (and many more gardening metaphors). The episode starts with a discussion of 2024’s Luckiest Day of the Year. Laura and Alex love a good …
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY, TAURUS!!!!! It’s Taurus season, which is a very special time at the pod because that means it’s Laura’s birthday!!! The universe is obsessed with you, Taurus, so be on the lookout for money, extra luck, and the adoration of VIPs. Laura and Alex begin the episode with the Embezzlement Update so they can check in to see if either of t…
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IT’S ARIES SEASON!!! Happy birthday, Aries! It’s your time to shine and apparently to attract lots of money. So keep your eyes peeled and your wallets open this April because Susan Miller has declared you a money magnet! There’s a lot going on in the world, so Laura and Alex begin the episode by catching up on the recent earthquake in New York and …
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY, PISCES!!!!! Susan Miller may not have written you the lengthiest forecast this year, Pisces, but it is full of exciting predictions that should ensure a festive birthday season. She lists approximately five hundred ways that money may come into your life this month (cue Laura’s pharmaceutical spokesperson voice), so there’s a good c…
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IT’S YOUR TIME TO SHINE, AQUARIUS! Laura and Alex are always happy to find themselves in the Age of Aquarius, and this year is no exception. So happy birthday to the Aquarians of the world! It’s time to use your cosmic gift certificate. The episode begins with discussion of Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce (a.k.a. Venus and Mars!) followed by the Embe…
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CAPRICORN! Welcome to Season 4! Laura and Alex are excited to jump into the new year. As is Susan Miller, who started 2024 off right by posting the horoscopes on the first day of the month! The gals start the episode with a chat about the holidays that segues into the show’s newest segment, the Embezzlement Update, where they report…
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IT’S YOUR TIME TO SHINE, SAGITTARIUS!!!! Because it’s your birthday month and because Susan Miller is back! Just in time to tell us all what December holds. Her eyesight isn’t perfect, but it’s good enough that she was able to write the detailed horoscopes we expect and to tell us to buy her wall calendar and sign up for Discord. So all told, thing…
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SCORPIO!!! It’s another month of brief forecasts as Susan Miller recovers from the eye infection that has left her partially blind. Alex and Laura believe that the Scorps of the world deserve more for their birthday month, but who are they to argue with Susan’s doctor?! Our fearless pioneer of the astrology internet must rest her ey…
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LIBRA, IT’S YOUR TIME TO SHINE! And Susan Miller is here to tell you how to do that. However, this month she delivers the news in an abbreviated form due to the most Susan reason ever. She is suffering from an eye infection that has left her unable to see and therefore unable to deliver the lengthy and whimsical horoscopes to which we’ve become acc…
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY, VIRGO!!!!! It’s your time to shine, although unfortunately you must deal with some secrets and surprises first. But Susan Miller is here to guide you through this difficult time so you can come out the other side ready to indulge in beauty treatments and international travel. The episode begins with a discussion of Susan’s monthly N…
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IT’S YOUR BIRTHDAY, LEO!!!!!! And Laura and Alex are back from vacation to tell you what’s in store for your birthday month! Unfortunately, what’s in store is a lot of retrograding planets, which translates into a less than ideal time to throw a lavish birthday celebration. The gals jump right into this episode with a recap of Susan’s Note to her r…
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY, GEMINI!!!!! Unfortunately, Susan Miller hasn’t written the most compelling horoscope for your birthday this year, Gemini. But Laura and Alex are here to tell you all about it anyway. With a song! The gals jump right into this episode with a recap of Susan’s note to her readers. Well, it’s not so much a recap as a dramatic reading; t…
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HAPPY TAURUS SEASON!!!! According to Astrology Zone, the Tauruses of the world have a lot to look forward to this May. And that includes Laura, the pod’s very own Taurus birthday gal. Happy birthday to all!!! The episode starts with a recap of Susan Miller’s note to her readers. Much of this month’s note is devoted to May’s difficult full moon luna…
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ARIES!!!!! You have a wonderful birthday month ahead of you. April contains not only a favorable eclipse and an incredible new moon, but also the Luckiest Day of the Year! That’s right. The Sun and Jupiter align and meet in Aries this year. So get ready for a month filled with opportunity, money, partnerships, and favorable contract…
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PISCES, IT’S YOUR TIME TO SHINE!!!! And shine you will because Susan Miller predicts an incredible March where all of the planets are moving and changing and doing things! Prepare yourselves to enter a new realm full of buckets of money and dazzling opportunities where Saturn is your personal executive coach. Laura and Alex think you will feel just…
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY, AQUARIUS!!!!! Unfortunately, Susan Miller doesn’t predict the fabulous forecast that Aquarians deserve for their birthday month. But Laura and Alex are here to show support and wish Aquarians all the best. Better times are ahead in March! This episode begins with a recap of the Note, which consists of not much more than descriptions…
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IT’S CAPRICORN SEASON! And the start of a new year! And season 3 of this podcast! According to Susan Miller, January will be a great start to 2023. Laura and Alex kick off this episode by talking about their festive night on the town in December, an event that Susan Miller predicted in her final horoscopes of 2022. The gals then dissect the recent …
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SAGITTARIUS! According to Susan Miller, Sagittarius has a lot of planets in a lot of places this month, potentially resulting in strong partnerships, gifts, and a new home. And guess who is revealed to be a Sagittarius?! Astrology Zone! It turns out that Susan Miller invented the astrological internet twenty-seven years ago in Decem…
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HAPPY SCORPIO SEASON!!!! And happy birthday to the wonderful Scorpios of the world! As always, Laura and Alex are here to preach justice for Scorpios, a group that has to deal with constant disrespect from the rest of the zodiac (or at least that’s how Alex, a Scorpio, sees it). We’re still in the midst of eclipse season and Susan Miller is here to…
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LIBRA! Despite an approaching wild and wooly eclipse season, Susan Miller predicts a great birthday month for you, Libra! Get ready for money, travel, and supportive planets that gather around you like caring relatives, not unlike Peter Gallagher’s family waiting for him to awaken from his coma in the beloved romantic comedy While Y…
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IT’S YOUR BIRTHDAY, VIRGO! There’s a lot to celebrate this month, Virgo! You should expect money, career success, and even fleets of Cupids! Susan Miller wants to know all about the dream in your heart so that you can get on the path to seeing it come true. Even Mercury retrograde isn’t going to get in the way of your cash infusion and booming care…
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IT’S LEO SEASON! And there’s a lot of good stuff coming your way this August, Leo, not the least of which is the coveted import-export of ideas! Susan Miller has a lot to say about how you can use the new moon (aka your cosmic gift certificate) to your advantage and the bonanzas that await you. However, Laura and Alex have even more to say about th…
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CANCER!!! Get ready to shine this July, Cancers! Susan Miller promises you an exciting month of VIP meetings, unexpected yet exciting news, and the luck of an Irishman! Laura and Alex kick off this episode with a discussion of Susan’s Note, a sprawling essay that covers a myriad of topics ranging from Susan’s new app to… Susan’s old…
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IT’S GEMINI SEASON!!!!! A very happy birthday to all the Gemini twins of the world! Laura and Alex wish you only the best, even if Susan Miller could only write you a somewhat brief and neutral forecast. It’s possible she cut some corners this month, though, because… the horoscopes were posted on time!!! Not only were Laura and Alex filled with sur…
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO TAURUS!!!!! And to Laura!!!! Taurus season is upon us, as is eclipse season! And Mercury retrograde! And there is a flower moon and a black moon! Needless to say, planets are doing things. This being eclipse season–complete with eclipses in both Taurus and Scorpio–Laura and Alex decide to read up on the subject. They start the epi…
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IT’S ARIES SEASON!!!!! Susan Miller has a lot of exciting things to share with Aries, but unfortunately this month’s horoscopes were published even later than usual. Laura and Alex waste no time (unlike some people…) getting into their thoughts on the late posting, Susan’s excuses, and wondering what might have happened over at Astrology Zone HQ to…
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY, PISCES!!!!!!! And welcome to the world, baby Oliver! Susan announced that a new little Pisces joined her family in February. And while Laura and Alex are overjoyed by this news, they have a lot to say about the fact that the horoscopes weren’t published until March 5, leaving them to fend for themselves not only during this month’s …
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IT’S YOUR BIRTHDAY, AQUARIUS!!!! And Susan Miller thinks you’re going to have a great month! Saturn is here to get you moving on your goals and projects, but it’s not all hard work, Aquarius. You’ve got money, laser beams of luck, and the coveted fleets of cherubs headed your way. In this episode, Laura and Alex tell Aquarius, Scorpio, and Taurus w…
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CAPRICORN! And Happy New Year to all!!! It’s 2022 and Laura and Alex are not only celebrating a year since they followed Susan Miller’s advice to create a podcast, but also a wonderful outlook for the year ahead by the woman herself. Susan assures the gals that this year will not resemble 2020 and its twin 2021, and that all the sig…
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IT’S YOUR BIRTHDAY, SAGITTARIUS!!!! Not only did Susan predict a great month for you filled with money, real estate, and a Christmas miracle, but we learned that lucky Sagittarius shares its sign with Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone! December 14, 2021, marks 26 years since Susan Miller invented the astrological internet (or at least that’s how Laura …
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SCORPIO!!!! Unfortunately, though, the planets are not showering you with presents and good wishes. In fact, they’re only bringing trouble to the signs this November. Laura and Alex begin this episode by apologizing to their listeners about the terrible, flippy floppy forecasts that they must relay this month. The gals then talk all…
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LIBRA, IT’S YOUR TIME TO SHINE! And not even Mercury retrograde can dull your sparkle! In fact, Susan Miller thinks that all the signs have a chance against Dennis the Menace (aka Mercury) and his slingshot this month, which is certainly a departure from the Merc retro warnings we have come to expect from Astrology Zone. Laura and Alex start this e…
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In her September 2021 horoscopes, Susan Miller told Laura and Alex that September 18, 2021, would be a great day to attend an important and glamorous event. And was it ever! As described in her most recent note to her readers, Susan designed a trunk to celebrate Louis Vuitton’s 200th birthday. So when she invited her fans to meet her outside of the…
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IT’S YOUR BIRTHDAY, VIRGO! And we have a giveaway... You are in for a great month! After the terrible time that all the signs had in August, Susan Miller is here to tell us about better things for September. She has even promised both Taurus and Scorpio that September will be filled with enchanting social events, which Laura and Alex interpret as S…
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HAPPY LEO SEASON! It’s going to be a rollercoaster of a month for all the signs. Sorry to all of the Leos who have birthdays early in the month because the new moon on August 8 brings trouble and unwanted surprises. But while we’re over here dealing with angry planets and aggressive beams, Susan Miller is living her best life, and Laura and Alex ha…
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CANCER! Get ready for money! And friendship! And maybe even a surprise party! But please pretend to be surprised even though Susan just spoiled it for you. Cancer is going to have a wonderful birthday month full of travel; Susan even forgoes her usual Covid safety warnings to encourage you to get to some thickly forested mountains A…
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Luckily for us Astrologyzone.com includes many essays by Susan Miller that explain everything you wanted to know about astrology. Or at least Susan’s take on it. And what better time is there to talk about Mercury retrograde than during Mercury retrograde?! Well, as Laura and Alex learn, there might be a better time because Mercury can be a real sc…
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ATTENTION GEMINIS! This episode is all about you! According to Susan, the double-bodied Gemini brings the possibility for twice the opportunities! Geminis certainly are a lucky group, which is why the gals are so excited that baby Lilibet Diana Mountbatten-Windsor has entered the world under such an auspicious sign! The episode starts with a discus…
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Happy birthday to Taurus! And to our lovely co-host Laura! Will May be better, as Susan Miller predicted last month? It’s looking good based on the forecasts for Taurus and Scopio, but unfortunately not everyone made it through April’s monster moon without incident. Laura and Alex discuss Susan’s sad note to her readers, a tribute to her ex-husband…
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