Best Barry Selby Podcasts (2025)

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122 - How Jealousy Impacts Our Relationships? 29:07

1d ago29:07

29:07

Are you the jealous type? Does the ugly green monster sneak its way into all of your relationships? Although jealousy is a natural reaction when you feel your relationship is threatened by another person, irrational and unjustified jealousy can damage relationships by breeding mistrust, insecurity, and constant conflict. It often leads to controlli…

1
121 - Why Opposites Attract 29:58

8d ago29:58

29:58

Do you find yourself attracted to someone who is the opposite of you on many different levels? Are the differences that first intrigued you now driving you mad? Opposites attract because differences can create balance, intrigue, and growth. One partner’s strengths may complement the other’s weaknesses, fostering teamwork and mutual learning. These …

1
120 - What Attracts Us To A Bad Boy or Girl? 28:10

8d ago28:10

28:10

Do you have a pattern of being attracted to a bad boy or bad girl? Do you find yourself easily bored when dating a so-called good guy? We’re often attracted to “bad boys” or “bad girls” because they exude confidence, mystery, and rebellion—qualities that feel thrilling and intense. Their unpredictability creates emotional highs that mimic passion. …

1
119 - How Low Moods Impact Our Relationships 29:30

29d ago29:30

29:30

Have you noticed you are more critical og of your partner when you are in a low mood? Does being in a low mood affect the quality of your interactions with others? Being in a low mood can strain relationships by causing withdrawal, irritability, and reduced communication. It may lead to emotional unavailability, misunderstandings, and a lack of aff…

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118 - Reflective Listening 29:33

1M ago29:33

29:33

Do you feel your partner isn't listening when you try to explain your feelings? Do you often feel misunderstood or even ignored? If that's the case, consider incorporating reflective listening into your relationship. Reflective listening strengthens relationships by making each other feel genuinely heard and understood. Repeating or summarizing wha…

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117 - We Teach Others How to Treat Us 29:13

1M ago29:13

29:13

Do you feel abused in your relationship but stay, hoping the way your partner treats you will change? Do you wish others treated you with more respect? What most people don't understand is we teach others how to treat us by setting boundaries, speaking up, and demonstrating self-respect. Allowing mistreatment signals acceptance, while enforcing lim…

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116 - When Love is Not Enough 29:01

2M ago29:01

29:01

Do you love your partner, but you find yourself constantly butting heads. Or, are you in an abusive relationship, but don't leave, because you still feel love for your partner? Unfortunately, love alone isn’t enough to make a relationship work. For a healthy sustainable relationship, you also need mutual respect, trust, communication, and effort. W…

1
115 - Fight, Flight or Freeze 29:41

2M ago29:41

29:41

What do you tend to do in a stressful or frightening situation? Do you stay and fight, or do you flee, or do you freeze and become motionaless? Fight, Flight, or Freeze is the body's automatic response to perceived danger, driven by the nervous system. Fight triggers aggression, preparing you to confront a threat. Flight urges escape, increasing he…

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114 - It's Just Not A Fit 29:04

2M ago29:04

29:04

When your partner ends your relationship, do you blame yourself? Do you feel that it means something is lacking or wrong with you? What if it didn't mean you were at fault, but instead, it meant it just wasn't a good fit? A relationship isn't a fit when core values, communication, and emotional needs don't align. Constant conflict, lack of trust, a…

1
113 - To Confess to a One-Night Stand or Not? 30:51

2M ago30:51

30:51

Have you ever had a one-night stand and immediately regretted it? Do you want to confess to your partner but fear it will end your relationship? Confessing a one-night stand is a tough choice. Honesty builds trust but may cause pain, while secrecy avoids immediate hurt but risks long-term guilt and betrayal if discovered. Consider your partner’s va…

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112 - Communication as a Friendly Game of Tennis 25:46

3M ago25:46

25:46

Do you find healthy communication challenging in your relationships? When discussing your differences, do you sometimes feel like you are on the receiving end of an angry ball machine instead of engaging in a friendly back-and-forth game of tennis? Healthy communication is vital when it comes to sustaining relationships. As in a friendly game of te…

1
111 - How Resentment Kills Relationships 30:13

3M ago30:13

30:13

Are you frustrated with your partner? Do you find yourself repeating the same requests to no avail? Are you sick and tired of hearing yourself complaining about the same issue again and again? If so, resentment may be undermining your relationship. Resentment slowly erodes relationships by fostering bitterness, distance, and distrust. Unresolved gr…

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110 - Letting Go 29:54

3M ago29:54

29:54

Does letting go scare you? Is the fear of the unknown keeping you trapped in a dead-end relationship? If so, you are not alone; many people fear letting go of the familiar. However, when we dare to let go of what no longer serves us, we experience emotional freedom. Letting go reduces stress and resentment. It fosters inner peace, allowing space fo…

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109 - The Benefits of Gratitude 29:35

3M ago29:35

29:35

Are you finding life challenging at the moment? Do you feel overwhelmed and unable to keep your head above water? If so, focusing on gratitude for what is going right in our lives is the best way to help us crawl out from under the cloud of despair. Gratitude enhances mental well-being, reducing stress and boosting happiness. It strengthens relatio…

1
108 - The Importance of Community in Challenging Times 30:45

4M ago30:45

30:45

Are you facing challenging times and feeling all alone? Are you suffering unimaginable loss and needing the comfort and support of your community? All over Los Angeles County, communities have gathered to support each other as we try to rebuild our lives after the latest devasting wildfires. Community is vital during challenging times, offering emo…

1
107 - Finding Closure at the End of a Relationship 30:24

4M ago30:24

30:24

Are you still grieving the end of a relationship and can't find closure? Are you confused about why your relationship ended and are finding it hard to move on? If so, you are not alone. Finding closure at the end of a relationship is vital for healing and growth. It helps us process emotions, understand what went wrong, and gain clarity. Closure pr…

1
106 - Caring For Our Aging Parents 31:15

4M ago31:15

31:15

Are you struggling emotionally and physically when trying to care for your aging parent? Are there unresolved issues that need to be addressed? Caring for an aging parent requires compassion, patience, and adaptability. It involves meeting their physical, emotional, and medical needs while respecting their independence. Open communication and share…

1
105 - Healthy Interdependence in Relationships 29:42

4M ago29:42

29:42

Would you describe your role in your relationships as dependent, hyper-independent, or interdependent? Dependence is relying on others excessively, often sacrificing autonomy. Hyper-independence is the opposite—avoiding reliance on anyone, often due to fear or past hurt, leading to isolation. Interdependence strikes a balance where individuals main…

1
104 - The Pros and Cons of New Year's Resolutions 29:46

4M ago29:46

29:46

Are you one of the people putting together your New Year's Resolutions list? Are there some habits or behaviors you'd like to change going into the new year? New Year's resolutions offer a fresh start, inspiring motivation and goal-setting. They encourage self-improvement, focus, and hope for change. However, unrealistic resolutions can lead to fru…

1
103 - The Futility Of Trying To Change Another Person 29:54

5M ago29:54

29:54

Are you with someone you wish were different? Do you hope your patience, efforts and nagging will magically transform them into your ideal partner? Trying to change another person is often futile, as true transformation comes from within. Pushing someone to change can create resistance, resentment, or superficial compliance. Focus instead on accept…

1
102 - Navigating Financial Differences 29:22

5M ago29:22

29:22

Do you and your partner argue over your finances? Is there a massive disparity in how much money each of you brings into the relationship? Navigating financial differences in a relationship requires open communication, mutual respect, and teamwork. Discuss values, goals, and spending habits early. Create a budget together and compromise where neede…

1
101 - Co-Parenting During The Holidays 30:29

5M ago30:29

30:29

Are you a single parent anxious about having to co-parent with your ex over the holiday season? If so, you are not alone. Co-parenting during the holidays can be highly stressful when deciding the schedule and how to divide your time equally with your children. It requires flexibility, communication, and a focus on the children’s happiness. Plan sc…

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100 - Transactional Intimate Relationships 30:06

5M ago30:06

30:06

Are you in an intimate relationship for more than an emotionally fulfilling and loving connection? Does your relationship feel more transactional rather than unconditional? Transactional intimate relationships are based on an exchange of value, where emotional or physical intimacy is traded for tangible benefits such as financial support, career ad…

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99 - Negotiating Political Differences 31:17

6M ago31:17

31:17

Has the latest US election put a strain on some of your relationships? Do you and your partner share different political views? Navigating political differences in relationships requires open-mindedness, respect, and empathy. Focus on shared values rather than disagreements, and engage in thoughtful, nonjudgmental conversations. Avoid forcing opini…

1
98 - Prison Love 30:21

6M ago30:21

30:21

Have you ever wondered what would inspire someone to start a relationship with someone currently incarcerated? Or maybe you have been tempted to email an inmate yourself. There are many reasons why someone may feel compelled to date an inmate. Starting a relationship with someone in prison may stem from empathy, shared history, or a desire to suppo…

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97 - Signs of a Sociopath 31:10

6M ago31:10

31:10

Are you in a relationship with someone you suspect may be a sociopath? Does your partner exhibit anti-social behavior? Signs of a sociopath include a lack of empathy, impulsive behavior, and superficial charm. They often manipulate others without guilt, showing little remorse for harmful actions. Sociopaths may lie frequently, disregard social norm…

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96 - Long-Distance Relationships 28:34

6M ago28:34

28:34

Are you in a long-distance relationship? Are you finding it hard to be in a relationship with limited physical contact? As partners navigate physical separation, long-distance relationships test love, trust, and commitment. Communication becomes the foundation, with regular calls and messages bridging the gap. Though challenging, distance can deepe…

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95 - Children....To Have or Have Not 29:02

7M ago29:02

29:02

Are you debating whether or not to have children? Are you feeling pressured to have children when your head and heart are saying no? Or do you desperately want a child, but for some reason, it hasn't happened yet? The decision to have a child is deeply personal, involving emotional, financial, and lifestyle considerations. Some choose parenthood fo…

1
94 - Trad Husbands 29:54

7M ago29:54

29:54

Are you curious about a traditional husband's role in a marriage or partnership? Do you like the idea of being a #Tradwife, where your husband assumes the role of the primary provider, ensuring financial stability for the family? Rooted in conventional gender roles, he may prioritize discipline, uphold family traditions, and engage in chivalrous ac…

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Ep 48- Bob Millsap- Author of “Shake Yourself Free” 53:01

7M ago53:01

53:01

How will you overcome tragedy in your life? Facing life after loss is an ominous task. The subsequent journey will consist of many trials, revelations, and missteps in a continual evolution throughout life. There is not a straight, clear path to living after trauma. Instead, we learn from our own experiences while gaining valuable perspectives on m…

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93 - Trad Wives 29:05

7M ago29:05

29:05

Are you curious about what the latest hashtag, #tradwife, means? Join Del and Barry as they discuss the definition, pros, and cons of a #tradwife role. Trad wives embrace conventional gender roles, focusing on homemaking, nurturing children, and supporting their husbands as the head of the household. They prioritize family values and modesty and of…

1
92 - Signs of a Dangerous Relationships 29:51

7M ago29:51

29:51

Do you find yourself walking on eggshells around your partner? Are you afraid to speak your truth for fear of your partner's rage? If so, you may be in a dangerous relationship. A dangerous relationship often shows signs like controlling behavior, isolation from loved ones, and constant criticism. Emotional or physical abuse, threats, and manipulat…

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91 - When Enough is Enough! 30:23

7M ago30:23

30:23

Are you a people pleaser, always putting others' needs ahead of your own? Do you suffer in silence when your boundaries are being violated? "When enough is enough" marks the point where boundaries are crossed and tolerance runs out. It signifies the moment to stop tolerating harmful behavior, situations, or excess. Recognizing this limit empowers i…

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90 - What Real Men Are Made Of 30:20

8M ago30:20

30:20

Do you judge a man as weak because he is not afraid to show his emotions? Do you buy into the belief that a real man should use his physical strength to overpower others? If so, you are misguided. What makes a man a man goes beyond physical traits; it's about character, integrity, and responsibility. A real man is defined by his ability to show str…

1
89 - The Damaging Effects of Power Struggles 32:02

8M ago32:02

32:02

Do you find yourself constantly engaged in a power struggle with the people in your life? Is it more important for you to win and be right in your interactions, as opposed to having a harmonious relationship? This week, Del and Barry discuss the downfalls of engaging in Power Struggles. The need to be in control and overpower others can damage rela…

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88 - The Benefits of Practicing Gratitude 29:44

8M ago29:44

29:44

Are you grateful for your life and your relationships? Do you reflect on your blessings regardless of the obstacles life throws your way? On this week's show, Del and Barry discuss the numerous benefits practicing gratitude offers, including improved mental health, increased happiness, reduced stress, and healthier relationships. Gratitude helps us…

1
87 - Glass Half Empty or Half Full? 29:02

8M ago29:02

29:02

Would you describe yourself as a glass-half-full or half-empty type of person? Would you say you feel more optimistic or pessimistic most of the time? On today's show, Del and Barry discuss the impact of whether we are an optimist or a pessimist and its effects on our relationships. The phrase "glass half full or half empty" reflects how people per…

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86 - The Perfection Trap 30:05

9M ago30:05

30:05

Are you a perfectionist? Do you have unrealistci expections for yourself and others? This week, Del and Barry share how the perfection trap is the relentless pursuit of flawlessness, leading to constant dissatisfaction and self-criticism. It creates unrealistic expectations, stifles creativity, and fosters fear of failure. Striving for perfection o…

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85 - Questioning "Shoulds" 31:12

9M ago31:12

31:12

Do you live by a rule book of made-up Shoulds? And do you expect others to live by the same shoulds? Shoulds can be harmful because they impose unrealistic expectations, leading to guilt, stress, and self-criticism when we fall short. They often stem from societal pressures or comparisons, stifling our authenticity and creativity. By focusing on "s…

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84 - NO is not a bad word 29:07

9M ago29:07

29:07

Do you struggle with saying No? And when you do say No, do you feel bad? This week, Del and Barry discuss how learning to say No is essential for maintaining balance and well-being. It allows you to protect your time, energy, and priorities, preventing burnout and over-commitment. By setting boundaries, you ensure your actions align with your value…

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83 - Reparenting our Inner Child 30:24

9M ago30:24

30:24

Many of us who grew up in a dysfunctional environment carry within us an unhealed inner child who is crying out for the love and attention we didn't receive growing up. When our unhealed inner child runs the show, it can cause havoc in all areas of our lives, from our relationships to our work environment. Reparenting our inner child is essential t…

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82 - Loving An Addict 29:03

10M ago29:03

29:03

Do you have someone in your life who struggles with an addiction? When it's a family member, friend, or loved-one, loving a person with an addiction requires immense patience, empathy, and resilience. It involves balancing support with maintaining healthy boundaries to protect your well-being. Understanding addiction as a disease helps in showing c…

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81 - Love Languages 29:43

10M ago29:43

29:43

Do you sometimes feel unloved and unappreciated in your relationship? Do you know your partner loves you, but they don't express it in the way you would like them to? Understanding our love language is crucial for building strong, fulfilling relationships. It enables us to communicate our needs and understand our partner's needs more effectively. B…

1
80 - Resisting the Urge to Retaliate 30:15

10M ago30:15

30:15

Have you been so hurt in a relationship you've wanted to retaliate? If so, it's a perfectly understandable reaction. The saying goes, revenge is sweet, but is it the wisest response? This week, Del and Barry discuss how retaliation perpetuates conflict and negativity, often escalating situations rather than resolving them. It harms relationships, e…

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79 - Agreements and Commitments 30:29

10M ago30:29

30:29

Are you someone who honors your commitments, or do you wait to see how you feel in the moment to decide if you want to follow through? On this week's show, Del and Barry discuss why honoring commitments and agreements is vital for building trust and reliability in relationships. It demonstrates integrity and respect, fostering a sense of security a…

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78 - Staying in Your Relationship for Others 29:37

11M ago29:37

29:37

Do you want to leave your relationship but tell yourself you can't because of the effect it will have on others? Maybe you tell yourself you're staying for the sake of your children, your partner, or your family's expectations. On this week's show, Del and Barry discuss the many reasons people tell themselves why they can't leave their relationship…

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77 - The Importance of a Father Figure 30:06

11M ago30:06

30:06

Did you have a positive relationship with your father, or was he absent either physically or emotionally? On this week's show, Del and Barry discuss the importance of the role of a positive father figure in our lives. A father figure is crucial for a child's development, providing emotional support, guidance, and stability. They serve as role model…

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76 - Projections in Relationships 30:45

11M ago30:45

30:45

Has your partner ever accused you of projecting onto them? Do you put your partner down because you see things you dislike about yourself in them? Or, maybe you put your partner on a pedestal because you believe they have attributes and talents you don't have? In relationships, we project by attributing our own feelings, fears, or insecurities onto…

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75 - Authenticity in Relationships 29:34

11M ago29:34

29:34

Do you hide out in your relationship? Are you afraid of sharing your authentic self for fear of rejection? Authenticity is crucial in a relationship because it fosters trust, deepens emotional connection, and encourages open communication. Being genuine allows partners to truly understand and support each other, creating a safe environment for vuln…

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Ep 47- Let's Talk Dating- Christine Baumgartner and Barry Selby 1:15:08

11M ago1:15:08

1:15:08

So, you say you're tired of being alone. You need a friend or a lover in your life, but where does one begin? Maybe you’ve tried dating sites, but none of your dates clicked. Dating at your age is unlike anything compared to dating when you were young. Every woman seems to have so much baggage: obligations, preferences, and problems you prefer not …

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Barry Selby Podcasts

Podcasts Worth a Listen