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Kim John Payne Center For Social Sustainability Podcasts

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#271: If Not Now When - Responding To Requests & Building Up Impulse Control 11:25

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In this episode, Kim John Payne explores the importance of helping children learn to delay their requests and respect the timing of others. Rather than always responding immediately or brushing kids off with a vague “in a minute,” Kim encourages parents to offer clear, specific guidance on when they can give their full attention. He offers practica…
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#270: Aggression Entrapment - How to Work Through Children's Meltdowns 7:08

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In this episode, Kim John Payne explores a dynamic he calls “aggression entrapment,” where a child’s meltdown becomes a way to secure a parent’s full attention. He explains that frequent meltdowns can signal a child’s need for stronger, more consistent parental presence—not just during crises, but in everyday connection. Rather than becoming entang…
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#269: The Art of De-escalation - Walking Away vs Stepping Back 8:22

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In this episode, Kim John Payne explores how parents can navigate escalating situations without making a child feel abandoned. He draws a clear distinction between “walking away” in frustration and “stepping back” with intention. The latter offers a child the reassurance that their parent is still emotionally present, even while taking space to cal…
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#268: Helping Older Siblings Feel Secure When a New Baby Arrives 15:06

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In this episode, Kim shares thoughtful ways to support an older child when a newborn joins the family. He emphasizes the importance of maintaining closeness through physical touch and preserving familiar family rhythms. Parents are encouraged to be intentional about cuddling, storytelling, and small rituals, so that the older sibling continues to f…
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#267: Why Teens Can Seem Distant and How to Stay Connected 6:31

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Kim John Payne offers a view of adolescence by comparing teenage emotions to an artesian water flow. While younger children often express their feelings outwardly, teenagers tend to turn inward. Their emotional lives may seem hidden, but underneath the surface there is a deep, steady movement as they process and explore. Kim encourages parents not …
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#266: Giving Children Time and Space to Wonder 9:42

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Kim reflects on the beauty and importance of slow learning. He invites parents to protect and nurture a child’s natural tendency to wonder, observe, and inquire. Instead of immediately reaching for quick answers through digital means, he suggests creating space for questions to unfold over time. One idea he shares is keeping a “wondering notebook,”…
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#265: Children's Big Feelings 9:42

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In this episode, Kim John Payne explores how young children experience emotions as full-body states, rather than isolated feelings they can easily identify and name. He expresses concern about the modern emphasis on naming emotions with young children, noting that their brain development often does not support this level of emotional analysis. Inst…
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#264: Another Way to Understand It 11:03

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Kim offers a fresh perspective on childhood anger, inviting parents to view it as a natural attempt to restore emotional balance. Anger may surface when a child feels powerless, ignored, or overwhelmed, and while it can be loud or disruptive, it is not something to fear. Using the metaphor of a blacksmith’s forge, Kim explains how parents can stay …
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#263: The Hidden Treasures of Previewing 10:39

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In this episode, Kim expands on the idea of previewing as a key parenting tool that brings calm and predictability to family life. He describes two types of previews: larger ones that look ahead to the day or week and smaller, moment-to-moment ones that guide children gently through transitions. Previewing helps children develop an inner picture of…
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#262: The Four "Its" of Problem Solving 13:28

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Kim shares a simple yet powerful approach for when things are heading in a difficult direction with children. The process includes four steps: calm it down, work it out, put it right, and move it on. He emphasizes that meaningful resolution only begins once emotions have settled, so calming the situation is the essential first step. This might invo…
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#261: No. You Do It! 10:39

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In this episode we hear how to help a child who insists on being helped do things they are perfectly capable of doing themselves, and how to support them in finding ways to problem solve and build greater agency and competency. 📓 Discipline & Guidance Care Professionals Seminar ❤️ Support the Podcast 📑 Simplicity Parenting Starter Kit 📲 Request a C…
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#260: Bed Time Hostage Taking 14:01

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In this episode we explore why children cling on to a parent at bedtime and refuse to sleep unless they mom/dad/caregiver is laying next to them. As always we hear about ways to help this tendency that mainly relate to establishing times of connection throughout the day. 📓 Discipline & Guidance Care Professionals Seminar ❤️ Support the Podcast 📑 Si…
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#259: Plan B - Helping Tweens & Teens Adjust 10:19

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In this episode we explore how to help tween and teens develop a plan for when things go wrong and how to adjust in order to keep moving towards their goal. 📓 Discipline & Guidance Care Professionals Seminar ❤️ Support the Podcast 📑 Simplicity Parenting Starter Kit 📲 Request a Consultation with Kim John Payne 📚 Simplicity Parenting Book Store…
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#258: Getting Our Timing Right 15:59

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In this episode we explore how to sense when the moment is right to give a simple day-to-day instruction, or to have one of “those” talks that every parent need to do from time to time. 📓 Discipline & Guidance Care Professionals Training ❤️ Support the Podcast 📑 Simplicity Parenting Starter Kit 📲 Request a Consultation with Kim John Payne 📚 Simplic…
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#257: Restraint Collapse After the School Day 17:33

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In this episode we discuss the concept of restraint collapse and the need for decompression points to help children manage their stress. Kim also emphasizes the importance of setting up a predictable and structured after-school rhythms to ease restraint collapse. Additionally, Kim suggested incorporating decompression points and providing a calm en…
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#256: Talking Through Things With Tween & Teens 10:45

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When issues come up with tween and teens, how can we have conversations with them that help them feel safe to participate and work things through. ❤️ Support the Podcast 📑 Simplicity Parenting Starter Kit 📲 Request a Consultation with Kim John Payne 📚 Simplicity Parenting Book StoreBy Kim John Payne/Center for Social Sustainability
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#255: Exaggerating-Amplifying-Conflating 12:55

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In this episode we explore why children can enlarge their accounts of what happened when things went wrong. We break it down to three tendencies and what we can do to help a child gain a better and more accurate perspective of what happened and how we can work through the trouble spots events to a better understanding. ❤️ Support the Podcast 📑 Simp…
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#254: Why Kids Whine & What We Can Do To Shift the Habit 11:44

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Kids who relentlessly complain and whine can often get on a parents nerves no matter how well balanced we are. In this episode we explore why kids whine and what we can do to help them move beyond this habit to feel more seen, heard and connected to a parent. ❤️ Support the Podcast 📑 Simplicity Parenting Starter Kit 📲 Request a Consultation with Ki…
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#253: Turn Hurting Into Helping & Healing Words & Action 13:39

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In this episode we explore how to shift hurtful words and actions by calling up the helpful and healing moments that a child, tween or teen brought to those around them, and how this helps us stay well oriented and regulated even in difficult parenting moments. ❤️ Support the Podcast 📑 Simplicity Parenting Starter Kit 📲 Request a Consultation with …
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#252: How To Avoid Pack up Disasters 10:33

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In this episode we explore how to prevent over-helping a child clean up their toys and projects, and how this helps them develop agency and competence that will serve them throughout life. ❤️ Support the Podcast 📑 Simplicity Parenting Starter Kit 📲 Request a Consultation with Kim John Payne 📚 Simplicity Parenting Book Store…
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#251: Talking About Feelings for Children Tweens & Teens 11:44

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In this episode we will explore how to talk to children, tweens and teens about their big feelings. We’ll see a simple model that shows you how to guide a young child so that they can ground their feelings and a teen be able to better understand their strong emotions, and by doing so you build a stronger attachment bridge and feeling connection wit…
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#250: Interview with Steve Biddulph Part Three 21:56

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In the last of this three part series Steve walks us through the skill of conversing with this hidden part of yourself that can help with almost any dilemma or situation. You can teach it to small children. It can help a teenager’s confidence or sense of direction. ❤️ Support the Podcast 📑 Simplicity Parenting Starter Kit 📲 Request a Consultation w…
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#249: Interview with Steve Biddulph Part Two 14:38

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In this follow up episode of our special three part series Steve takes us further into how we can use the Wild Creature Mind to and overcome stress, convert anxiety and heal trauma in childhood ❤️ Support the Podcast 📑 Simplicity Parenting Starter Kit 📲 Request a Consultation with Kim John Payne 📚 Simplicity Parenting Book Store…
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#248: Interview with Steve Biddulph Part One 28:01

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In this first episode of a special three-part series, Kim John Payne sits down with renowned author and parenting expert Steve Biddulph to talk about his latest book, Wild Creature Mind. This series feels less like an interview and more like a fireside chat between good friends. It is full of warmth, wisdom, and practical insights ❤️ Support the Po…
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#247: We Can't Prevent the Darkness But We Can Grow Our Kids in the Light 9:48

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In this episode, Kim explores the profound benefits of providing children and teens with a simple, balanced life - one that serves as a foundation they can rely on when life’s inevitable challenges arise in young adulthood and beyond. 🍎 Simplicity Parenting Coach Training 📓 Family Life Care Professionals Training ❤️ Support the Podcast 📑 Simplicity…
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#246: What To Do When You Don't Know What To Do 11:42

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In this episode, Kim explores what to do when you’re unsure how to respond to a child’s frustration. He also discusses how to help a child trust their own feelings and experiences, ultimately deepening their trust in you. 🍎 Simplicity Parenting Coach Training 📓 Family Life Care Professionals Training ❤️ Support the Podcast 📑 Simplicity Parenting St…
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#245: Why Little Kids Can Get Disruptive in Play & What You Can Do 22:10

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In this episode, Kim explores the developmental stages of play and why children can become disruptive as they move into a new phase of their social play ability. He also shares two very simple and doable ways to ease problematic interactions by slowing down the play. 🍎 Simplicity Parenting Coach Training 📓 Family Life Care Professionals Training ❤️…
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#244: Simple Holidays: A Survival Guide No.4 11:35

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In this episode of the Simplicity Parenting Podcast, Kim tackles two common holiday challenges. First, he offers insights into understanding and easing sibling tensions that can flare up when kids spend more time together. Then, Kim explores how to keep screen time from creeping upward during the holiday break, sharing practical tips for fostering …
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#243: Simple Holidays: A Survival Guide No.3 7:52

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In this episode Kim dives into two essential themes to help you navigate the holiday season in our Simple Holidays: A Survival Guide. First, Kim explores how to let children enjoy the special moments of the holidays without making it feel like one long photo shoot. He discusses the importance of rationalizing the number of photos and videos we take…
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#242: SImple Holidays: A Survival Guide No.2 9:00

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In this episode Kim continues to introduce our Simple Holidays: A Survival Guide. For many of us there is a lot more travel around this time of the year. He explores how to prepare for the increased amount of travel time that many families have during the Holiday Season. 📚 Simple Holidays: A Survival Guide ❤️ Support the Podcast 📑 Simplicity Parent…
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#241: SImple Holidays: A Survival Guide No.1 7:31

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In this episode we introduce our Simple Holidays: A Survival Guide. It is a wonderful little collection of podcasts curated by Kim. It provides practical advice and thoughtful strategies to help families manage the unique challenges they experience during the holidays. Kim also speaks about how to navigate the potential intensity of more closely co…
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#240: Play That Prepares Kids for the World That's Coming 10:54

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The podcast explores... In the polarizing and fragmenting world that lies ahead for our kids they are going to need an ability to pull it all together and to be inwardly organized. “Scripting" is a imaginative play stage that builds these brain capacities. However, the intrusion of fixed overly formed toys and screens is inhibiting the development …
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#239: Trying to Get it Right VS Getting it Right 9:45

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The podcast explores... Living in a value based home is so strengthened when we embrace failure as well as success. It is an essential part of a strong family culture that avoids perfectionism and welcomes doing our best. ❤️ Support the Podcast 📑 Simplicity Parenting Starter Kit 📲 Request a Consultation with Kim John Payne 📚 Simplicity Parenting Bo…
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#238: Being a Calm Presence When Our Kids Are In Good Shape 11:02

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The podcast explores... Hanging out with our kids when they are doing ordinary things like homework, playing, or listening to music helps normalize our presence so that we can calmly sit with them when a difficult family situation needs a moment to calm down. 🍎 Emotional Resilient Tweens and Teens ❤️ Support the Podcast 📑 Simplicity Parenting Start…
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