Best Lainey Cathan Podcasts (2025)

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41: The Narcissist's Financial Shenanigans 14:42

Play Pause

4d ago14:42

14:42

Narcissists and Cluster B personality-disordered individuals are infamous for using money to control, manipulate, and abuse. Expect behaviors from them that don't make sense, particularly if you are divorcing them. In general, narcissists are irresponsible with money, because their lives are all about looking good, even if that is only a surface vi…

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40: Facing the Holidays Alone 14:21

11d ago14:21

14:21

By Lainey Cathan

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39: Social Media Lies 13:03

18d ago13:03

13:03

Social media is a fantastic tool to help us stay connected and engaged with friends and acquaintances. It also can be a trap where we envy people's carefully curated posts and photos and begin the comparison game. It is easy to feel like you're less than when comparing your messy insides to a limited, and selected, snapshot glimpse of another's lif…

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38: Loneliness 15:19

25d ago15:19

15:19

Loneliness is probably the most common emotion that people who are single experience. But is loneliness bad? Is it something to be feared and changed as soon as possible? Not necessarily. What are the positive aspects of loneliness and how can those sometimes unwanted and uncomfortable feelings fuel your healing and potential future relationships f…

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37: The Myth of Closure 15:02

1M ago15:02

15:02

Have you ever felt like your healing and ability to move on is hinging on the person who has wronged you giving you closure? That the explanation of their "why" is mission-critical for you to be able to find peace? Is their apology and explanation truly necessary in order for you to regain direction and clarity as well as an ability to reclaim your…

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36: Porn Fuels the Human Trafficking Industry 12:08

1M ago12:08

12:08

This episode further debunks the porn myths that "it doesn't hurt anyone" or "it's normal" or "everyone does it" with a hard look at the porn industry's direct ties to the human trafficking trade. Let's educate ourselves about the truth and speak out about human enslavement and objectivation. And let's hold porn users accountable for their personal…

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35: We All Have a Place at the Table of Happiness 12:52

2M ago12:52

12:52

Do you ever feel like you are an other? That the only people in the world who are truly happy are married individuals? Statistics show that in the United States there are equal numbers of married and single people. So why do we feel different? Pain and trauma play a factor. As do movies, books, and tv. "Helpful" friends and family members actually …

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34: Why Do Narcissists Ruin Everything? 12:41

2M ago12:41

12:41

There are an estimated one billion narcissists and Cluster B personality-disordered individuals on our planet right now. Why do they seem to relish ruining important events? Birthday parties, graduations, family gatherings, vacations, nothing is sacred or immune to their pouting, anger, and outright rage. Even, and sometimes especially, big milesto…

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33: The #1 Quality for Your Perfect Partner 14:52

2M ago14:52

14:52

Whether we are actively dating or not, it behooves every single person to draw up a list of non-negotiables for a potential future partner. This list may include things like values, attractiveness, success, intellect, and spirituality. However, let's not forget about the most important part of those non-negotiables: you! You may have spent a lifeti…

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32: Listening Boundaries 13:15

2M ago13:15

13:15

We often extol boundaries in the context of who gets to communicate with you, who is allowed to spend time with you, and how you rest and practice self-care. But, what about listening boundaries? Listening boundaries can be a real boon to individual, in particular, who are sensitive souls, are people pleasers, or who have survived a narcissist's sm…

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31: The Narcissist's Life is AMAZING...Not! 15:46

2M ago15:46

15:46

Have you ever noticed how the narcissist has to work so hard to convince the world that his or her life is *awesome*?! Is it really? No, it's not. When your life truly is blessed and wonderful, you don't have to go around convincing yourself and others about how great everything is. Understand this behavior for what it is: pure grandstanding. You, …

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30: Forgiveness 14:30

3M ago14:30

14:30

How do we forgive "70 times 7"? Is it even humanly possible; do we have the capacity? Sometimes, when we are trying to be too goal-oriented toward forgiveness, we make it less likely to ultimately feel satisfied by our efforts. Especially if dealing with a partner who continues to abuse and hurt. Often, we are looking to forgive the wrong person. W…

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29: Reclaiming Self After Betrayal Trauma: Dating 20:16

3M ago20:16

20:16

After living through betrayal trauma and perhaps a narcissistic discard, how do you know when you are ready to date again? Or, if you will ever be ready to date again? Take the time for healing, learning about yourself, and reflection before jumping back into the dating pool. Dating is best when it is intentional and out of the desire to get to kno…

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28: Where Are You God? 18:27

3M ago18:27

18:27

Have you ever wondered, "Where are you God?" Have you felt like you have endured more than your fair share of grief and pain? That you have tried to live a good life, yet trials keep coming your way? Have you ever said, "It's enough?!" or, "What did I do to deserve this?" We all feel this way at times, yet it is not commonly spoken about. This lead…

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27: If The Narcissist Doesn't Want You, Why Won't They Let You Go? 10:42

3M ago10:42

10:42

It's common for a narcissistic partner to drag out the divorce process as long as they possibly can. Why? Why would they do this when they have already moved on? Why when sometimes they are actually hurting themselves with their stubborn refusal to let you move forward in your life? It's about control. It's about wreaking as much havoc as is humanl…

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26: Suicidal Ideation after Betrayal or Discard 16:18

4M ago16:18

16:18

You are not alone if you feel that you are succumbing to despair after betrayal trauma, a narcissistic discard, or both. This is a common reaction as a result of such unbearable and unbelievable pain. But, your life matters. There are reasons to go on. The world needs you and your unique gifts and talents. Please, find spaces of hope and live even …

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25: Gray Rock 13:34

4M ago13:34

13:34

A key motto in my healing journey is: go no contact and live again. We can argue, prod, and beg toxic people in our lives to give us closure, but they can't. And, even if they could, they wouldn't. Gray Rock is a communication methodology where we cease to provide narcissistic fuel to unhealthy partners through over-sharing and reactive behaviors. …

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24: When You Suck at Boundaries 18:40

4M ago18:40

18:40

Boundaries are one of the most difficult concepts for serial people-pleasers as well as victims of betrayal trauma and narcissistic gaslighting. It seems counter-intuitive that taking care of yourself first is a common practice of the most giving and healthy individuals. Boundaries are actually loving, assuring that your needs are met so that you c…

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23: Will My Partner Ever Change? 19:53

4M ago19:53

19:53

How do you know if your partner is truly changing after you have lived through betrayal, narcissistic emotional abuse, and/or a partner's sex and pornography addiction? Is what they say real, or is it just more smoke and mirrors, empty promises, and outright lies? This episode offers key strategies to move forward and find confidence in your person…

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22: Reclaiming Self After Betrayal Trauma 16:47

5M ago16:47

16:47

Shattered. Destroyed. Broken. These were words I used to think most accurately described me. I felt that I was beyond repair and healing. Betrayal trauma had claimed me, body and soul, and I would never be the same again. But there is hope to reclaim our true selves and build a strong foundation of self-love and trust such that we can be assured th…

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21: Why I Hate The Five Love Languages 14:37

5M ago14:37

14:37

Narcissists and other unhealthy partners can take the most helpful and benign concepts and weaponize them to manipulate, control, and devalue. This episode explores how my ex-husband used the book The Five Love Languages to push his self-serving agenda. In the guise of his self-appointed "gifts of service", he completely dismissed my actual, commun…

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20: Beware of Therapy with a Narcissist 15:57

5M ago15:57

15:57

Entering therapy with a narcissist is done most often with sincere effort by the partner, but can, and usually will be, used against them. The concerns around therapy with a narcissist range from the annoying to the frustrating to the dangerous. Narcissists don't believe they need to change and weaponize therapy to manipulate, demean, and control. …

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19: Spiritual Abuse 18:36

5M ago18:36

18:36

One of the most unconscionable types of abuse that can be endured is spiritual abuse. For many of us, our spiritual lives and connection to a higher power are the foundations of our existence. This essential relationship helps us make sense of our lives and can even enable and enhance our understand and comfort levels after loss. Spirituality can l…

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18: But Who Else Will Ever Love Me? 15:03

5M ago15:03

15:03

After being betrayed or living in an unhealthy relationship, many people lament, "Yes, but if I leave my partner, who else will ever love me?" While understandable, this type of thinking can be dangerous in perpetuating further toxic relationships. This episode discusses why it is essential to your happiness to leave this type of mentality in the p…

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17: Hidden, Insidious Narcissitic Jabs 14:45

6M ago14:45

14:45

Cuts. Jabs. Barbs. Narcissists excel at them all. Malignant narcissists can be quite overt in their cruel comments. However, most narcissists are more elegant, sinister, and insidious in their hurtful jabs. They might be hard to recognize as long as you are in the relationship. Because they have intently studied you, they know right where your pain…

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16: Am I A Walking Red Flag? 13:49

6M ago13:49

13:49

"It takes two to tango!" "Well, there are two sides to every story." The insinuation in these types of statements can be highly shaming to a victim of insidious narcissistic abuse. It is most often true that the vast majority of relationships are ended through issues from both partners. However, it is not always so black and white. People may be af…

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15: Was That Really Love Bombing? 16:10

6M ago16:10

16:10

Love bombing is a classic technique used by manipulative narcissists. The hallmarks are usually excessive praise, compliments, and inappropriately expensive gifts. The aim is to ensnare the victim during this small moment of happiness so the devaluation and discard phase can be all the more cruel and wounding. But did you know that love bombing is …

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14: When You Suck at Self-Care 20:10

6M ago20:10

20:10

When I first began navigating healing after betrayal trauma and the resultant narcissistic discard, I didn't know what to do. I was not raised to think that something like self-care would be anything other than selfish and self-centered. How do you try to take care of yourself when you've never done it before and now you are shattered, body and sou…

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13: Are They Really Your Best Friend? 14:55

7M ago14:55

14:55

When I first learned about my husband's betrayal, all I could think was: How could my best friend do this to me? I hear this lament so often and it is heartbreaking. I spent many years ruminating on this question and wasting precious time blaming myself. Eventually facing hard truths, I examined what true friends do and do not do. This episode exam…

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12: Should I Try to Save the Narcissist's Next Victim? 15:22

7M ago15:22

15:22

After you have been abused, manipulated, and discarded by the narcissist in your life, the inevitable follows...they have a new source of supply immediately. This episode builds on episode 11: Why Does the Narcissist Move on so Quickly? The narcissist will have a new source of fuel immediately and make you aware of how easily replaceable you are in…

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11: Why do Narcissists Move on so Quickly? 15:31

7M ago15:31

15:31

One of the most confusing and dizzying experiences that can happen when navigating complicated relationships with narcissists occurs generally right after, or during, the cruel narcissistic discard. They move on. Immediately. But why? How can your long-term relationship and love for them be so meaningless? Did you have absolutely no worth to them? …

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10: Grief after Betrayal Trauma 21:12

7M ago21:12

21:12

Most people think about grief in connection with death, and certainly there is much to grieve when we lose someone. But when I found out that my decades-long marriage was a sham, I was plunged into the darkest, and most long lasting, grief of my life. Yet, people did not understand what I was experiencing and why. Once again, I felt different and o…

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9: Debunking Porn Myths: Men are More Visual 9:43

8M ago9:43

9:43

It is an excuse we have all heard often. When a partner is caught cheating by using porn, the initial refrain is usually something to the effect of, "What's the big deal? It has nothing to do with my feelings toward you. All men do it. It's just a way of blowing off steam." Then, the gaslighting goes on, "Men are far more visual than women. So, you…

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8: Combating Betrayal Trauma Triggers 13:26

8M ago13:26

13:26

After you have been betrayed and hurt by your partner, or anyone for that matter, you may go into "fight, flight, or freeze" whenever you see them. No matter how much you prepared beforehand. After doing recovery work, why does this still happen? And, what can be done about it? In this episode, Lainey discusses how she learned that it is totally no…

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7: DARVO, Narcissistic Emotional Abuse 16:18

8M ago16:18

16:18

DARVO is a commonly used tactic in society today, where people often try to deny taking accountability. However, this tactic is a common occurrence for a Cluster B Personality Disordered individual, such as a Narcissist. DARVO stands for: D-Deny A-Attack then the RVO Reverse the victim and offender DARVO is another crazy-making tactic of the narcis…

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6: Debunking Porn Myths: Porn Isn't Cheating 12:03

8M ago12:03

12:03

Here are some often used dismissive comments about porn: All men use porn. It doesn't hurt anyone. It has nothing to do with my love for you. It just helps me blow off steam. Nonsense. Porn kills love, decimates self-esteems, is escalating and addictive, deprives your family of your attention, and fuels the human trafficking trade. Porn is always, …

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5: Betrayal Trauma Faith Crisis 13:31

9M ago13:31

13:31

When you experience intimate betrayal, it is common to also have a resultant faith crisis. Why did God let this happen? Why didn't He intervene so that you wouldn't have to experience such profound hurt? Does He not love you anymore? Why have you been abandoned by those you love and trusted most? This is a dark and lonely space, and it is a complet…

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4: Betrayal Trauma D-Day 20:06

9M ago20:06

20:06

D-Day is short for Discovery Day. It's the horrible moment you will most likely remember in minute detail for the rest of your life. The day you found out the person you loved and trusted the most has been unfaithful. It is shocking and unimaginably traumatic. And, once you make this shattering discovery, who do you turn to? The partner you trusted…

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3: Why Porn is Always Wrong 13:54

9M ago13:54

13:54

Pornography is a commonly accepted part of our modern-day world. “Everyone does it.” “It doesn’t hurt anyone.” Nonsense. Pornography kills love, ruins lives, creates deep psychological wounds, is addictive and escalating, reduces humans to pixels on a screen, and is fueled by one of the most heinous crimes of our time: human trafficking. Lainey dis…

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2: The Narcissistic Discard 14:03

9M ago14:03

14:03

Narcissists can exist in any or all of the aspect of our lives. They may be a member of our family, our spouse, our boss, or even our ecclesiastical leader. One thing they all have in common is the need for the oneupmanship of the narcissistic discard when their target stops giving them narcissistic supply. Narcissists are deeply insecure individua…

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1: Intro to A Life, Folded 13:50

9M ago13:50

13:50

As a survivor of a spouse's pornography addiction, betrayal trauma, as well as covert narcissistic abuse, this episode introduces the "why" of A Life, Folded podcast. I was married for 29 years to a man who lived a double life. Seemingly loyal husband, father, employee, and disciple of Christ by day; porn addict, betrayer, and liar by night. Well, …