Life can feel like the most insane and exciting adventure, while other days it can feel like a living hell of which we cannot escape. Rarely do we feel like we can divulge what we truly think and feel and sometimes we don’t even know ourselves. In this podcast, I hope to dive into the deepest parts of our hearts and minds to find the keys to freedom together. I hope, if I do anything at all, I remind you that there is immeasurable beauty in both the light and shadow. *** follow @light._and_. ...
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lightandshadowpodcast
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23. Breakthrough moment: how to deal with aching feelings of emptiness - let's talk God, vulnerability, fear, control & contentment & how surrender is the answer to everything
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I've always struggling with this horrible, aching sense of emptiness. The only way I can really describe it is a black abyss that comes over me and fills me with a sense of dread. I know I've gone through how to feel all different feelings, but this emptiness was one I could never really feel the "cure" for. I found it purposeless and strange and n…
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22. Breakups: how to move on, set new standards, and hone new skills
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Breakups are hard. There's no way around that. You think this person is a dream and you're finally closer to finding your person only to find it crumbling beneath your feet. When there's no real closure, the person chooses to ghost and quickly replace you with someone you wonder if any of it was ever real. You feel shaken with distrust for yourself…
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We all know that our thoughts drive our emotions and behavior, but what's even more critical to understand is distinguishing the validity and truth or falsehood of our thoughts and beliefs. I've found that the majority of arguments we have with other people isn't necessarily a difference in values, but a difference in perspective and how each other…
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20. Ego-defense mechanisms & emotion-driven behaviors
1:02:40
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Dissolution of relationships in any form can be so difficult, leaving you feeling angry and confused. This is exactly how I felt following coming back to a situationship after a year only to be rejected and discarded once again. I felt I had done nothing but try to understand and be there for him when all he ever did was use me. I recently went to …
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19. The importance of emotional regulation & its relationship to fear, trauma, addiction, attachment, toxic relationships & familiar family dynamics
1:32:56
1:32:56
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I really wanted to make shorter episodes for you guys, but this episode really needed the length to explain each issue of fear, trauma, addiction, attachment, toxic relationships, and familiar family dynamics, while also bridging the gap between them to illustrate how they are each so intimately connected. Often times, we see we have issues, but do…
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Ever date someone you didn’t really think you’d like and then all of a sudden you find yourself pining after them like, “why they don’t like me anymore? Why does no one ever care about me?” Have you ever really asked yourself - before the attachment - happened if you ever even wanted them? Maybe, but your craving for that love and validation that s…
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18. Truth 101: how core beliefs, laws, mindsets, & inner narratives shape your life & reality
1:16:49
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I know I promised a "little learnings" on ego-defensive behavior, but life took some unexpected turns. In this episode, I talk about the strange turn of events over the past 3 months that diverted my attention from examining other people's behaviors to taking a deeper look at myself. I discuss how my previous dark intermissions episode really highl…
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17. Dark Intermissions: Instagram v. Reality & Relearning Old Lessons
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I'm back! I know it's been 3 months since I've published my last episode and while I wanted to jump straight back into the little learnings for "uncovering the truth," I wanted to share some things I'm struggling with in my own life. The reason I include some of these episodes with more practical educational videos and to show how I personally work…
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16. Emotions [part 2]: what it means to “feel your feelings”
1:34:14
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This episode is our longest yet, but jam packed with vital information all about the role of emotions and how actively feeling them will change your entire life. It is the part 2 continuation of emotions part 1, and finalizes the “little learnings” for the emotion/body sensation phase needed to “interrupt the cycle” is step three of the healing pro…
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15. Emotions [part 1]: changing the narrative
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We are back with another “little learnings” episode, now covering the emotional piece. I know this is a long episode, but it’s probably my most important episode to date - and the most researched! I’ve working on this episode for 5 months, trying to flesh out all the details and nuances of emotion to help change your narrative and understanding of …
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14. Understanding & overcoming fear of abandonment
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The perfect bridge between the past three dark intermission episodes and talking about emotions in the next episode coming, episode 14 really gets into the uncomfortable feeling that abandonment brings. Sometimes we fear being left so intensely that it effectively dictates the way we live our entire lives. In this episode, I discuss how childhood e…
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13. Why no amount effort on your part will ever make up for a lack of effort on their part
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After some life changes, we’re back with another dark intermission episode (in the same thread as episodes 8 & 12) examining what to do when someone’s effort toward your relationship suddenly starts to decrease. While I begin by focusing on unhealthy relationships that serves as a continuum of episode 12, I also shed light that some effort levels d…
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12. Why they didn’t choose you, why you can’t let go, and why rejection really is redirection
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This episode is in the same “dark intermission” thread as “the case for not choosing the guy (or girl) that makes the huge effort.” In this episode, I examine the questions a lot of us have following the ending of a toxic relationship - particularly the one where we did go for the guy who made the huge effort, only to be dumped just as quickly as t…
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After going through the “little learnings” of logical fallacies and cognitive distortions, we finish off this cognitive restructuring segment with thought reappraisals. Thought reappraisals begin with identifying distortions that other people have told us or ones that we’ve told ourselves. By first recognizing that we’ve fallen into thinking traps …
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This is the second of the “little learnings” we’ll be using for interrupting the cycle at the thought level. While logical fallacies talk about argument and evaluation in terms of interpersonal debate, cognitive distortions really speak to our mind’s misinterpretation of events, information, situations, or people being presented to us. Even more of…
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Before we deep dive into [step three] of mapping healing - interrupting the cycle - I wanted to give you guys these “little learnings” to shed light on how exactly we can interrupt the cycle at the thought level. Understanding logical fallacies are critical in seeing how people’s perceptions, arguments, or evaluations of us can shape the way we thi…
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08. Dark intermissions: the case for not choosing the guy that makes the huge effort
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We’ve all been here before - being treated less than desirably by the guy (or girl) who wanted us first. Often times, we think to ourselves, “well, if he’s (/she’s) making such a huge effort, maybe I’ll give it a shot,” only to proven to why you should have never given them any chance in the first place. In this episode of the dark intermission ser…
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07. Mapping healing: [step two] uncovering the truth part 2 - let’s talk about God
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This episode serves as the part two follow up to the “ [step two] uncovering the truth” episode of the mapping healing series. Because I understand what a hot topic all things God and religion can be, I wanted to pair this off into a separate episode for those truly interested in exploring their spirituality. For me, God in my recovery was absolute…
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While I take myself through the mapping healing journey, I find myself, again, in the uncovering truth stage, gleaning new insights to unlock new levels of my recovery. In doing so, and spending time going back to look at the origins of my binge eating, I’m starting to see that no matter what you struggle with - eating disorder, adhd, personality d…
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05. Mapping healing: [step two] uncovering the truth
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In this episode, we dive straight into step two of the healing journey - uncovering the truth. After a brief overview of what we covered in step one, figuring out what’s broken, we explore how learning and gaining greater insight can better help us troubleshoot the core issues of our lives. By becoming curious about attachment theory, emotional att…
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04. Mapping healing: [step one] figuring out what’s broken
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This episode is the continuation of the “Mapping Healing” series I began in episode 02. While episode 02 is the overarching look at the healing process and a brief look at each stage, this episode looks specially at the first step, which I’ve titled, “figuring out what’s broken.” In the episode, I discuss the differences between what’s genuinely go…
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03. Dark intermissions: an informal conversation about the darkness
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When it comes to healing, we may find ourselves pushing toward the light, but also find the dark pushing back. I promised to be a friend in both, so here I am - in the dark with you. In this episode, I talk about the feelings that come up when comparing my traumatized life to the life of someone I found to be extraordinary and healthy. I talk hones…
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02. Mapping healing: what “trust the process” really means
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We’ve all heard someone say, “Trust the process,” or “it’s all part of the process,” or some variation of these. When I was younger, I used to wonder, “what does that even mean?!” Life can seem to give you mixed signals, and depending on who you ask, you can end up going in infinite different directions. In this episode, I really wanted to break do…
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01. Procrastination, self-sabotage, and the cycle of addiction
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In this episode, I dive into what procrastination really might mean for someone who has mental health struggles. It may seem that we’re lazy or unmotivated or whatever narrative our thoughts have generated to us, but sometimes there’s a part of the picture we’re not fully seeing. Fear - and seeking relief from that fear - can often be more at the h…
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