Each week Paige and Todd review a romantic movie and break down the good, the bad, and the funny. Give it a listen, we’ll have you at hello.
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Todd Schlosser Podcasts
The heartbeat of healthcare is strong and ever-changing and we look forward to bringing you both the latest trends and the personal stories of those whose lives have been touched by healthcare professionals.
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“Are we just going to ignore the fact that Antonio Banderas drinks his brother’s head juice?” This week’s hottest movie is The Mask of Zorro. This film has everything: a horny duel, a lusty confessional booth admission, and a vigilante live-action Puss in Boots. If you love pickled domes, teacup waltzing, and historical accuracy that’s legally inad…
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“General Racism was Omar’s right-hand guy.” This week’s hottest movie is… Jewel of the Nile. This film has everything: juggling Sufis, a slow-speed plane chase, and a boat with no driver, towing nothing but red flags. If you wish David Lean had cast Michael Douglas in Lawrence of Arabia, this episode’s for you. Please Subscribe, Rate, and Review Ro…
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“There’s no dick that good in the world.” This week’s thirstiest mess of a movie is... Fool’s Gold. This film has everything: a maybe-teen yacht goblin, a grown man earnestly saying “boat swain,” and Kevin Hart playing a rum-soaked rapper-slash-loan-shark-slash-island oligarch. If you love sketchy ages, mispronounced nautical ranks, and shootouts t…
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Two villains, both alike in evil. This week’s thirstiest movie is Runaway Bride. This film has everything: performative egg eating, a third-act Homer Eisenhower reveal, and a print news column that’s basically if Andrew Tate knew how to read and immediately started doxxing hot women for USA Today. If you love petty shade, chaotic horse escapes, and…
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Where are the guns coming from? This week’s campiest queer romcom spy fantasy is... DEBS. This film has everything: secret agents in ceiling swings, a sapphic supervillain, and tech so confusing Todd thought it was legit teleportation. If you love standardized-test-based spy recruitment and falling in love with the woman who just tried to murder al…
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“Did I fall asleep for a second?” This week’s hottest movie is... The Wedding Banquet. This film has everything: Avant-garde quilt energy. Sexy paperwork. And a surprise pregnancy caused by Bowen's THAAAAAAAAANG.If you love drag dragons, Civil War diary entries, and marriage proposals that would make ICE furious, this episode’s for you! Please Subs…
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“He’s on a 1% Rumspringa.” This week’s hottest movie is... My Own Private Idaho. This film has everything: Narcoleptic street naps. A Shakespearean crime daddy and his Red Hot Chili hype goblin. And the most emotionally devastating campfire scene since The Parent Trap. If you love cult leader Paige, Dutch Boy roleplay, and bisexual tragedy on a whe…
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“Jennifer Tilly is playing F Chess.” This week’s slickest lesbian noir is... Bound. This film has everything: a mob nepo baby who looks like he got kicked out of Boyz II Men, a literal money-laundering montage complete with ironing, and a full-on power move where Gina Gershon goes knuckles deep... then shakes the husband’s hand. If you love vibey n…
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"She looks like one of the people from Planet of the Apes. And by people, I mean apes." This week’s most unhinged movie is… Color of Night. This film has everything: a possessed Casio keyboard soundtrack, a man narrating his own life out loud like a noir detective who’s never heard of internal monologue, and a surprise Bruce Willis full-frontal tha…
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“She just threw up a Kristen Stewart.” This week’s thirstiest movie is Love Lies Bleeding. This film has everything: A gym manager elbow-deep in body horror plumbing. Ed Harris’s forehead winning the Picard for best hairline. An underground love story so jacked on roids and vibes it’s basically She-Hulk by way of A24. If you love magical realism, a…
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“Welcome back to posthumous pregnancy court, where we decide if this dead lady was actually pregnant or not.” This week’s thirstiest thriller is... Fatal Attraction. This film has everything: A 100-minute rage mixtape that makes “Side B” a hostage situation, a man with the kind of dick that makes you skip the hospital and reach for the knife drawer…
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"Diane Lane gave it all up for a dude who would go down on her." This week’s thirstiest trainwreck is… Unfaithful. This film has everything: a murder snow globe, Diane Lane furiously scrubbing her nethers with literal train water, and a full Beauty and the Beast crossover you’ll never see coming. If you love messy affairs, murder husbands, and sex …
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"How dare she do that to Puss in Boots?" This week’s most confused kink movie is... Babygirl. This film has everything: a possibly unhinged needle drop, a disappearing cult subplot, and a main character trying to explore vulnerability while also spearheading the automation apocalypse. If you love messy power dynamics, baffling sex scenes, and stand…
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"Could you do a dick lineup?" This week’s thirstiest movie is... Spy. This film has everything. An Olympian level hip dick. A CIA agent demanding access to Schrödinger’s Face/Off machine. And the answer to "What’s the only acceptable catcall in Italy?" If you love unhinged spycraft, extremely subtle romance, and Jason Statham literally falling upwa…
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"You gotta go get it with your tongue, please.” This week’s hottest movie is... The Spy Who Dumped Me. This film has everything: A rogue microchip hidden in a very personal location, Spy skills honed through Duck Hunt, and a missed opportunity Todd just couldn't not mention. If you love chaotic horniness, spy movies written by people who’ve never m…
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“This is Mr. & Mrs. Smith if they had a baby right after college.” This week’s hottest movie is... Date Night. This film has everything: A chicken nugget mysteriously covered in black ink. A Tripplehorn reference that amazingly isn't about a Ska Band. That moment when someone turns the gun sideways and you know—that’s the kill shot. If you love mid…
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“They become shooting star-crossed lovers. It’s Shakespearean, Paige.” This week’s hottest movie is... Lockout. This film has everything, A briefcase full of absolutely nothing, A plot so chaotic they didn’t even credit cocaine with a story credit, And The Rock… but like, in space, with none of the emotional depth and all of the Guy Pearce. If you …
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"This movie is the Emperor's New Clothes… but from the Emperor’s perspective." This week’s hottest movie is... S1m0ne. This film has everything: A man with an eye tumor from sitting too close to a computer, a studio exec who hears "never pay actors again" and says "perfect," and a pair of parasocial paparazzi Rosencrantz and Guildensterns who are h…
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"Holly Hunter convincingly portrays someone who wants to fuck a man six feet shorter than her" This week’s weirdest romance movie is... Always (With Special Guest Eli Bosnick). This film has everything... A ghost who spends his afterlife trying to cockblock his ex, John Goodman single-handedly carrying the emotional weight of the movie, Richard Dre…
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"Angela does a drive-by on her own bedroom." This week’s wildest movie is Why Did I Get Married Too? This film has everything: K-9-level detective work from a man who can smell infidelity, a trauma wheel that only Tyler Perry would dare spin, and a woman who looked at divorce court and said, “Nah, I’ll just commit vehicular manslaughter.” If you lo…
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"They know how to use a Blige." This weeks Hottest movie is.... I Can Do Bad All By Myself. This movie has everything. A man with an unsettling attachment to a VCR, A Madea and Dadea that may or may not be married, and Plot logic that only exists because it needs to. If you enjoy Tyler Perry morality plays that make you wonder about the meaning of …
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"Does this woman have unlimited trench coats?!?" This week's hottest movie is... Obsessed. This movie has everything: An ambitious woman with a foolproof dating system. A deranged temp who will stop at nothing to get ‘Elba Deep’. And Beyoncé, who at first ignores the red flags, but eventually channels her inner Lemonade rage, screaming ‘I’ve been t…
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"Jada Stinkett Piss" This week, the gang packs their bags, grabs a grapefruit (or two), and heads to Essence Fest as we cover Girls Trip! This movie has everything: Tiffany Haddish being an unhinged menace, Queen Latifah making questionable career choices, Regina Hall absolutely not having it all, and Jada Pinkett Smith living that "mom friend" lif…
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"Her Juilliard auditions have a higher kill count than most Horror Virgin movies." This week’s hottest movie is Save the Last Dance—the film that made us all think we could master hip-hop in a single montage. This movie has everything: Julia Stiles looking vaguely uncomfortable while dancing, Sean Patrick Thomas being effortlessly smooth, Kerry Was…
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"You gotta watch out for that Q Williams, guys!" This film has everything: a street dancer, a sleazy music video director, and a soundtrack so 2003 it might come with a free Nokia ringtone. You’ve got breakdancing kids defying all odds, dramatic training montages, and a final performance that somehow solves all of Honey’s problems. If you love earl…
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"uhm... I acktualllly prefer DD Havana Nights" This week’s hottest movie is... Dirty Dancing. And just so we’re clear, nobody puts this episode in a corner. This film has everything: a small-town girl, One Majestic Swayze, and a summer romance hotter than a Catskills campfire. You’ve got forbidden dance lessons, class warfare disguised as mambo, an…
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"Channing's Dress is actually pants. AND IT HAS POCKETS!!!" This week’s hottest movie is... Step Up. This film has everything: rebellious street dancers, a prestigious arts school, and a romance hotter than a crowded dance studio. You’ve got dramatic training montages set to peak 2000s R&B, Channing Tatum looking PEAK heart throb, and some Dance Dr…
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"The is basically Superman 1" This week’s hottest movie is... Grease 2. This film has everything: a motorcycle-riding bad boy who’s too cool for school, a Pink Lady falling for a T-Bird wannabe, and musical numbers that go from zero to camp faster than a drag race. If you’re into leather jackets, questionable high school dynamics, and sequels that …
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"Some Mother Fucker always trying to Roller Blade up Stairs" - Wesley Snipes (Probably) This week’s hottest movie is... No Hard Feelings. This film has everything: Jennifer Lawrence as a down-on-her-luck Uber driver, a hilariously awkward scheme to seduce an elite clueless teenager, and a movie that just can't wait to teach you ALL the wrong lesson…
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"GET TO THE CHOLERA!!!" This week’s hottest movie is... Serendipity. This film has everything: chance encounters, defaced 5 dollar bills, and a Bloomingdale’s employee who’s just doing the absolute most. If you’re into heartwarming rom-coms featuring your two most toxic friends chasing ‘destiny’ while leaving their current relationships in shambles…
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"This movie needed more Thomas Lennon" This week’s hottest movie is... Pottersville. This film has everything: a sleepy small town in chaos, a Christmas cryptid hoax gone wrong, and Paige and Todd discussing Furries way longer than we should have. If you’re into holiday cheer with a side of Bigfoot this episode’s for you! Please Subscribe, Rate and…
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"I didn't even realize Pentatonix was in this movie?!?" This week’s hottest movie is... Meet Me Next Christmas. This film has everything: a chance airport encounter, a sold-out Pentatonix Christmas concert, and a mad dash through New York City that makes Santa's overnight delivery look leisurely. If you’re into festive rom-coms with musical cameos …
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"It's like Poor Things at Christmas" This week’s hottest movie is... Hot Frosty. This film has everything: a grieving widow who accidentally brings a snowman to life with a magical scarf, a snowman-turned-hunky-handyman navigating the quirks of human existence, and a small-town diner serving up more than just comfort food. If you’re into heartwarmi…
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"A Great movie at the wrong time" This week’s hottest movie is... The Best Man Holiday. This movie has everything: lifelong friendships rekindled, holiday drama, and football games so emotional they belong in the Hallmark Hall of Fame. You’ve got heartfelt confessions, secrets revealed over Christmas dinner, and an end of life plan reveal you won't…
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"This is a local, adult, recreational, tap class's Christmas production" This week’s hottest movie is... The Merry Gentlemen. This film has everything: a former Broadway dancer returning to her small-town roots, a struggling family venue on the brink of closure, and a Christmas-themed male with plenty of Yule logs for your fire. You’ve got Chad Mic…
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"The Problem with the movie is they made it" This week’s hottest movie is... Showgirls. This movie has everything: glitter-covered drama, pool scenes so wild they defy even fish physics, and Elizabeth Berkley as a dancer with big dreams and even bigger attitude. You’ve got a Vegas show, backstage betrayals, and Kyle MacLachlan’s hair defying all se…
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"See how the world looks through these" This week’s hottest movie is... That Thing You Do! This movie has everything: catchy one-hit wonders, a garage band that skyrockets to fame and Tom Hanks as a slick music manager who always knows what’s groovy. You’ve got drummers with perfect timing, guitarists who are always making jokes, and screaming fans…
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"This movie truly has no romance" This week’s hottest movie is... True Romance. This movie has everything: Elvis hallucinations, a suitcase full of contraband, and possibly a legend of a magic typewriter. You’ve got Christian Slater as a comic book nerd-turned-bad boy, Patricia Arquette as a call girl with a heart of gold, and a showdown so intense…
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"On the wings of love!!!!" This week's hottest movie is... Lisa Frankenstein. This movie has everything: reanimated corpses, Cole Sprouse as a Victorian boyfriend, and neon-lit graveyards. Plus, Lisa gives her undead crush a makeover that involves spray paint and a leather jacket—because, Colin, what’s true love without a little body modification? …
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"This movie is just fuckin around guys" This week's hottest movie is... Beautiful Wedding. It's the sequel to Beautiful Disaster, but this time, Travis and Abby head to Mexico for a honeymoon filled with misunderstandings, brawls, and topless beach fights. This movie has everything: drunken Vegas weddings, The Mariachi Paradox, and a fight with a p…
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220 - Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga (With Natalie Kirk)
2:02:11
2:02:11
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2:02:11"Let me be the first one congratulate...us." This week's hottest movie is... Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga. (and we are joined by Todd's WIFE Natalie Kirk). This movie has everything: outrageous musical numbers, fire-spewing pianos, Russian heartthrob singers, and elves—yes, elves. If you love catchy songs with a side of quirky ro…
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"I'm not even sure this movie has romance in it" This week's hottest movie is... Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again from 2018. This movie has everything: flashbacks, emotional reunions, three potential dads, and Cher as Sophie’s glamorous grandmother. you love ABBA songs and intergenerational drama, you’ll pretend not to notice that this movie still refus…
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"Ignore the class issues, cause this movie is great!" This week's hottest movie is... Crazy Rich Asians. This movie has everything: high-stakes Mahjong games, luxurious family estates, scheming socialites, and Awkwafina being your dream BFF. If you love over-the-top wealth mixed with heartfelt romance, you’ll adore this movie. We sure did. Please S…
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"He was made for lovin her baby!!!" This week's hottest movie is... The Fall Guy. This movie has everything: epic car chases, death-defying stunts, a missing movie star, and a trauma cycle that seems very relatable for all my Dismissive avoidant's out there. If you love action movies that don't take themselves too seriously, you'll love this movie …
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216 - True Lies (With Blaine Gibson)
2:26:52
2:26:52
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2:26:52"He is both underpaying her, and over slapping her" This week's hottest movie is... True Lies from 1994. This movie has everything: high-octane chases on horseback, tango dancing with terrorists, a used car salesmen/sex pest, and a strip tease that could make even the most macho men drop their tape deck. If you love action-packed movies with a side…
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"A movie about 2 spy's that are terrible at their job" This week's hottest movie is... This Means War from 2012. This movie has everything: top-secret surveillance gear, explosions, love triangles with bullets, and Chelsea Handler giving out relationship advice. They use CIA technology to spy on each other’s dates, complete with drones, secret came…
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"The Best Part of Wakin Up..." This week's hottest movie is... Mr. & Mrs. Smith from 2005. This movie has everything: explosive shootouts, suburban espionage, a dysfunctional marriage in couple’s therapy, and a final battle in a home store that’s more intense than a newwed couple trying to figure out if they need the Malm or Tarva bed at ikea. Plus…
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"Everyone wants a dash of Dash" This week's hottest movie is... The Lost City. This movie has everything: a tropical jungle setting, ancient treasure hunts, and Daniel Radcliffe as the charmingly unhinged villain, Abigail Fairfax. Plus, Brad Pitt makes an unforgettable cameo as the ex-Navy SEAL turned mercenary, Jack Trainer, who steals every scene…
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"Butter them Knees, BABY!!!!" This week's hottest movie is... Dumplin'. This movie has everything: drag queen mentors, Dolly Parton anthems, a defiant beauty pageant protest, and more rhinestones than a country music award show. If you're into feel-good stories with a side of sass, you are gonna love this movie. Please Subscribe, Rate and Review Ro…
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"The one time Wattpad got it right" This week's hottest movie is... Boot Camp. This movie has everything: grueling fitness routines, an off-limits "Will they, won't they", Enemys to Lover tropes, and a journey of self-discovery that will fully leave you in tears. Rachel Boudwin stars as Whitney, while Drew Ray Tanner plays her dreamy yet strict per…
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