Healing Your History to Help Your Kids Heal Theirs with Dr. Robyn Koslowitz, Ph.D.
Creating a Family: Talk about Adoption, Foster & Kinship Care
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Do you feel like raising a child with a history of trauma has stirred up your own traumatic past? If you wonder how to parent from a position of healing, listen to this conversation with Dr. Robyn Koslowitz. She is a psychologist, trauma expert, and author of the new book, Post-Traumatic Parenting: Break the Cycle, Become the Parent You Always Wanted to Be.
In this episode, we discuss:
- You open your book by saying, ‘It’s not you, it’s your trauma.’ That feels like both a relief and a challenge. Can you unpack that for parents and caregivers who blame themselves for every misstep in their parenting?
- When you use the term post-traumatic parent, what do you mean? How does that differ from saying ‘parent with trauma’ or ‘healed parent’?
- Many caregivers feel haunted by an internal guilt that says, “How can I give what I never received?” How can parents or caregivers move from guilt to agency—without glossing over the pain?
- What are the 5 post-traumatic parenting defaults you identify in your book? What do they look like in real-life moments of parenting?
- How does a parent choose not to opt into those old trauma-driven defaults (e.g., yelling, withdrawal, overcontrol) in the moment?
- The metaphor of trauma as an app
- What is the concept of cycle-breaking versus cycle-making, and how is it valuable for breaking those unhealthy parenting patterns?
- What are some practical applications of this post-traumatic parenting reframe?
- How can a parent create and maintain trauma-responsive routines or rituals that will increase a child’s sense of felt safety, without being rigid or feeling like a bunch of rules they must follow?
Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.
Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:
- Weekly podcasts
- Weekly articles/blog posts
- Resource pages on all aspects of family building
Chapters
1. Healing Your History to Help Your Kids Heal Theirs with Dr. Robyn Koslowitz, Ph.D. (00:00:00)
2. You open your book by saying, ‘It’s not you, it’s your trauma.’ That feels like both a relief and a challenge. Can you unpack that for parents and caregivers who blame themselves for every misstep in their parenting? (00:01:37)
3. When you use the term post-traumatic parent, what do you mean? How does that differ from saying ‘parent with trauma’ or ‘healed parent’? (00:04:08)
4. Many caregivers feel haunted by an internal guilt that says, “How can I give what I never received?” How can parents or caregivers move from guilt to agency—without glossing over the pain? (00:08:45)
5. What are the 5 post-traumatic parenting defaults you identify in your book? What do they look like in real-life moments of parenting? (00:18:23)
6. How does a parent choose not to opt into those old trauma-driven defaults (e.g., yelling, withdrawal, overcontrol) in the moment? (00:22:44)
7. What is the concept of cycle-breaking versus cycle-making, and how is it valuable for breaking those unhealthy parenting patterns? (00:38:16)
8. What are some practical applications of this post-traumatic parenting reframe? (00:44:36)
9. How can a parent create and maintain trauma-responsive routines or rituals that will increase a child’s sense of felt safety, without being rigid or feeling like a bunch of rules they must follow? (00:51:43)
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