In this episode of "Rhythms of Focus," we consider distraction and stimulation. When our minds wander and the pull of the phone grows strong, we search for stimulation is actually a longing for real meaning and energy in what we do.

Explore how our emotions shape the way we focus and why boredom so often pushes us toward escape. In pausing—noticing our feelings instead of avoiding them—we can find agency. Mindfully, we practice shifting from reactivity to a state where we can choose what feels truly right for each of us.

Takeaways from this episode:

• Recognize what fuels the urge to distract ourselves and how to address it with understanding
• Learn a practical technique for pausing and noticing emotions to unlock a new sense of agency
• Discover how awareness can transform moments of discomfort into opportunities for meaningful action

Subscribe for more supportive conversations, and visit rhythmsoffocus.com to deepen your journey with us.

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#ADHD #WanderingMinds #MindfulProductivity #Agency #EmotionalResilience #Creativity #FocusChallenges #Neurodivergent #IntentionalLiving #PianoMusic

Trancript

  "What if I did my weekly review? Oh, but I just gotta write that report. I'm a nails need clipping. I would rather go and do that. No. How about if I just, uh, yeah. Hopeless. But I think I just need a reset. Let's see what's on Instagram here."

Three hours go by.

"Where did the day go? Oh my goodness, I had so much to do."

    Getting lost in the day. The media politics, both grand and in the family, it's far too easy to lose our bearings. We might blame this sense in ourselves that we need stimulation. Whatever it is we're "supposed to do" is simply not stimulating enough. Might be quite boring, in fact, but what is that craving for stimulation?

The word itself is so bland.

We might say, well, I need something that's shiny or on fire as a client of mine would say. But even these are not enough to describe what this is.

Stimulation, is this stand-in for a sense of vitality. We want to feel alive, some depth of meaning growing somewhere within us. 

All right, so how is that related to this infinite scrolling on our phones? Well, any number of emotions get touched off. Humor connects because it draws attention to something we haven't considered. Some surprise and discovery, some edge of society. Fear connects because it tells us to look over here at the risk of peril. Sex connects because the creative spirit in lust is just that powerful, this massive momentum carrying us through the ages.

All of these emotions connect to some sense of meaning within ourselves.

So how can a report possibly compete? We need stimulation again because we need something to feel real.

Alright, so what the heck does this have to do with any form of productivity in whatever shape or form? Well, when we can acknowledge that the so-called need for stimulation is more truly about some need to feel alive, we can find a new direction.

For example, let's say we're able in some rare moment to catch ourselves scrolling through the phone, wonder to ourselves, well, what am I doing? The initial impulse might be to say, how do I avoid this? How do I get out of this phone?

Well, I'll try to do nothing. Well, that rarely works. Nature of which our minds are apart abhors a vacuum. That phone is easily reached for once again, the unconscious forces are powerful, much more so than that blip of consciousness with which we sail our lives and we ignore that power at our own peril.

It's all too easy to just find ourselves in the phone, not realizing we were there. Another impulse might be,

I'll try to do something. Anything else!

Sometimes this works, like a smoker trying to quit finding some chewing gum. Or maybe we throw ourselves into that report, maybe even getting something done.

But there is a third option, which is not so apparent, and that is to pause.

Pausing seems like nothing. What's the difference between pausing and doing nothing? Well, in a pause. We're conscious, we can deliberately feel the boredom, pay direct attention to it, might even attempt to locate it in our body.

Where does it register? How does the feeling feel? Again, what's the point? The point is that this practice begins shifting emotion from driver to messenger.

Boredom is the driver that sent us scrolling.

In other words, by pausing, we heighten our sense of agency, that ability to decide and engage non-reactively. That non-reactive bit, that shifting of emotion from driver to messenger is born in the pause. That ability is core to deciding what's most meaningful, what's most alive in us in this moment of the Now, and we can decide which of the many waves we wish to ride from that pause.

Maybe instead of continuing to scroll, we decide to rest ourselves in the face of the tensions of that report, to sit with them, brave the feelings that it seems to emanate. Maybe we find within those feelings some window of challenge, that kindling of play.

And when we don't acknowledge an emotion, we don't hear its message, so its spirit has this greater tendency to blend into us, suffuse us, take us over. In the internal family systems model of psychotherapy, we could say it doesn't trust us, and so it takes the driver's seat without our knowing.

So as a takeaway here, consider the practice of pausing.

Maybe after this episode ends, take a moment to pause and consider what is the feeling? It's probably the hardest of the entire range of productivity ideas, but I think it's also the most important.  

 Every session, every wave of focus comes to an end. But as we end, we can take a deliberate approach to setting things aside and preparing for some next visit, some next time we return, in effect, sending a care package to our future selves. And doing so is something of a wave within a wave with its own approach, middle and end.

Today's piece of music is called Prelude to an End.

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The Weekly Wind Down is an exploration of wandering minds, task and time management, and more importantly, how we find calmer focus and meaningful work.