Send us a text

Holiday lights don’t erase old wounds. We open up about the pressure to show up at family gatherings when the dynamics are toxic, and why choosing distance can be the most loving move you make for your mental health. Through personal story, hard-won lessons, and years of listening to callers who face the same seasonal dread, we break down how guilt, conditioning, and assigned family roles keep people stuck in rooms that undo their progress.
You’ll hear how early loss, poverty, and unhealed siblings forged patterns of people-pleasing, freezing, and fawning—and why the body remembers what the mind tries to rationalize. We talk plainly about the myth that healing yourself heals others, the danger of returning to environments that deny accountability, and the right to say no without justifying or performing. If “home” feels like walking into a battlefield of unresolved trauma, you are not obligated to attend for the sake of appearances. You don’t owe an abuser your presence. You don’t owe tradition your mental health.
We also map a path forward. Learn how to name and release holiday guilt, replace old scripts with sturdy boundaries, and design new rituals that nourish you: a quiet day, a chosen family dinner, a solo adventure, a letter to your younger self, or simply rest. Grief for the family you wished for can coexist with pride in the life you’re building now. Expect pushback when you break roles like fixer, peacemaker, or scapegoat—and take it as a sign of growth, not failure.
If you’ve been waiting for permission, here it is: you are allowed to choose peace, healing, and yourself. Subscribe for more honest conversations about trauma, boundaries, and building traditions that love you back. If this resonated, share it with someone who needs to hear it and leave a review to help others find the show.

Support the show