TechOnion Radio (TOR) podcast

#Simba Mudonzvo #Sell More Books #Tech

24:35

It’s the very first episode of The Big Pitch with Jimmy Carr and our first guest is Phil Wang! And Phil’s subgenre is…This Place is Evil. We’re talking psychological torture, we’re talking gory death scenes, we’re talking Lorraine Kelly?! The Big Pitch with Jimmy Carr is a brand new comedy podcast where each week a different celebrity guest pitches an idea for a film based on one of the SUPER niche sub-genres on Netflix. From ‘Steamy Crime Movies from the 1970s’ to ‘Australian Dysfunctional Family Comedies Starring A Strong Female Lead’, our celebrity guests will pitch their wacky plot, their dream cast, the marketing stunts, and everything in between. By the end of every episode, Jimmy Carr, Comedian by night / “Netflix Executive” by day, will decide whether the pitch is greenlit or condemned to development hell! Listen on all podcast platforms and watch on the Netflix Is A Joke YouTube Channel . The Big Pitch is a co-production by Netflix and BBC Studios Audio. Jimmy Carr is an award-winning stand-up comedian and writer, touring his brand-new show JIMMY CARR: LAUGHS FUNNY throughout the USA from May to November this year, as well as across the UK and Europe, before hitting Australia and New Zealand in early 2026. All info and tickets for the tour are available at JIMMYCARR.COM Production Coordinator: Becky Carewe-Jeffries Production Manager: Mabel Finnegan-Wright Editor: Stuart Reid Producer: Pete Strauss Executive Producer: Richard Morris Executive Producers for Netflix: Kathryn Huyghue, Erica Brady, and David Markowitz Set Design: Helen Coyston Studios: Tower Bridge Studios Make Up: Samantha Coughlan Cameras: Daniel Spencer Sound: Charlie Emery Branding: Tim Lane Photography: James Hole…

TechOnion Radio (TOR)

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Welcome to TechOnion Radio—where Silicon Valley's fever dreams meet their satirical reckoning. Like TechCrunch had a wild night with The Onion and this audio abomination is their illegitimate child. Randomly, we peel back layers of tech absurdity until everyone's crying—from laughter or existential dread, we don't judge. From AI hallucinations to billionaires with Mars complexes, nothing is sacred and everything is content. Please support our mission to keep tech honest through satire by donating. Remember: your Bitcoin donation is just fiat money with extra steps, but we'll take it anyway!

14 episodes

TechOnion Radio (TOR)

updated a day ago

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14 episodes

#Simba Mudonzvo #Sell More Books #Tech

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1
#14 - Google’s Gospel: How the Church of Clicks Became the Internet’s Most Profitable Religion 21:43

1 day ago21:43

21:43

The internet was supposed to be different. Back in the 1995, when dial-up modems sang their mechanical hymns and “You’ve Got Mail” was still a source of genuine excitement rather than existential dread, the web promised to be humanity’s great equalizer. Information would be free, knowledge would flow like fine digital wine, and we would all become enlightened beings connected across the vast expanse of the internet. Instead, we got Google. Source: TechOnion.org Please donate via Buy Me a Coffee or Patreon…

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#13 - Nigeria’s Flash Flood Crisis: How a Tech-Savvy Nation Forgot to Apply Technology to Saving Lives! 23:51

2 days ago23:51

23:51

It was a truth universally acknowledged that Nigeria , a nation possessed of considerable technological prowess, must be in want of applying said prowess to the preservation of human life. Yet as the flash floodwaters rose across the country recently, claiming 200 lives and leaving 500 missing, one could not help but observe a most peculiar phenomenon: a digital economy that had mastered the art of cryptocurrency transactions and fintech innovations had somehow failed to master the considerably simpler challenge of water level monitoring! The irony was not lost on those who had witnessed Nigeria’s remarkable technological ascension over the preceding decade. Here was a nation that had birthed unicorn startups, developed sophisticated blockchain applications, and deployed advanced drone technology to monitor thousands of kilometers of oil infrastructure. Yet when nature presented its annual hydrological examination, the country appeared to have forgotten that the same sensors monitoring crude oil flow could theoretically be repurposed to detect rising water levels in flood-prone areas. Source: TechOnion.org Please donate via 'Buy Me a Coffee' or 'Patreon'…

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#12 - Singapore’s AI-Proof Education Revolution: While the West Debates Pronouns, Asia Builds the Future 14:17

4 days ago14:17

14:17

In a world where artificial intelligence threatens to turn half the human workforce into digital dinosaurs faster than you can say “ prompt engineering ,” Singapore has done something so sensible it borders on the surreal: they’ve decided to actually prepare their citizens for the future instead of arguing about whether ChatGPT has feelings. The city-state’s new public education initiative offers displaced workers a completely free second degree in emerging fields—a move so pragmatic it feels like stumbling through the looking glass into a dimension where governments actually solve problems before they become existential crises. Meanwhile, the West continues its grand tradition of treating technological disruption like an unexpected British weather pattern that might blow over if we just ignore it hard enough. Source: TechOnion.org Please Donate via 'Buy Me a Coffee' or 'Patreon'…

1
#11 - Napoleon’s Digital Blitzkrieg: How Modern Tech Could Have Made Russia Just Another App Download 14:17

5 days ago14:17

14:17

In what tech historians are calling the greatest missed opportunity in Silicon Valley venture capital history, newly discovered documents from the Napoleonic Archives reveal that the French emperor’s catastrophic 1812 Russian campaign could have been transformed into the world’s first successful military unicorn startup—if only he’d had access to today’s consumer-grade technology. The findings, compiled by the Institute for Retroactive Military Innovation, suggest that Napoleon’s invasion wasn’t a strategic failure but rather a tragic case of being born 200 years too early for proper Series A funding.Source: TechOnion.org Please donate via ' Buy Me a Coffee ' or 'Patreon'…

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#10 - Apple’s Genius Tariff Solution: Why Assemble Your Own iPhone When You Can Pay More for the Privilege? 10:29

6 days ago10:29

10:29

It was the best of times for Apple shareholders , it was the worst of times for anyone who thought they understood how capitalism was supposed to work. In the gleaming towers of Cupertino, where executives in $700 hoodies contemplate the profound mysteries of profit margin optimization, a solution to the US-engineered tariff crisis emerged that was so audaciously cynical it could only have been conceived by minds unencumbered by shame or basic human decency. The announcement came with the characteristic Apple fanfare: a carefully choreographed presentation where Chief Revenue Optimization Officer Miranda Sterling stood before a backdrop of minimalist white curves and declared that Apple had “reimagined the iPhone experience to empower users with unprecedented customization opportunities.” What she meant, in language comprehensible to those not fluent in corporate doublespeak, was that Apple had decided to make customers assemble their own phones while somehow charging them more for the privilege. The genius of the plan lies not in its innovation—humans have been assembling electronics for decades—but in its breathtaking transformation of necessity into premium experience. Faced with tariffs that threatened to reduce their profit margins from “obscene” to merely “unconscionable,” Apple’s leadership team asked themselves a profound question: “How can we make our customers pay for our problems while convincing them they’re getting a deal?” Source: TechOnion.org Please donate via 'Buy Me a Coffee' or 'Patreon'…

1
#9 - AI: The Emperor’s New Algorithm – Why Silicon Valley’s Silver Bullet is Actually a Rusty BB Gun 15:34

6 days ago15:34

15:34

In the gleaming conference rooms of Silicon Valley , where venture capitalists gather like digital evangelists clutching their kombucha and quarterly projections, a curious form of doublethink has taken hold. Artificial Intelligence , they proclaim with the fervor of true believers, is simultaneously the solution to every human problem and a technology so nascent that any criticism of its current limitations constitutes heresy against the future itself. The Ministry of Technological Truth has spoken: AI will cure cancer, eliminate poverty, solve climate change, and presumably teach your grandmother to use TikTok . Yet somehow, after billions in investment and years of breathless proclamations, the most advanced AI systems still struggle with tasks that a moderately caffeinated human intern could handle—like accurately counting the number of fingers in a photograph or explaining why they recommended a documentary about serial killers after you watched one cooking show. This is not mere technological growing pains. This is the systematic construction of a narrative so divorced from reality that it would make the Ministry of Plenty proud. The tech industry has perfected the art of selling tomorrow’s promises with today’s marketing budgets, creating a perpetual state of “almost there” that justifies infinite investment in solutions to problems that may not actually exist. Source: TechOnion.org Please donate via Buy Me a Coffee or Patreon…

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#8 - The Great Educational Regression: How AI Turned America’s Classrooms Into 1950s Time Capsules 11:51

7 days ago11:51

11:51

In a stunning victory for analog technology, the humble blue book has emerged as education’s unlikely savior against the AI apocalypse The year is 2025, and America’s educational institutions have officially surrendered to their new silicon AI overlords. In a move that would make Don Draper weep with nostalgic pride, schools across the US (and sooner everywhere else around the world) are dusting off their blue books—those sacred, lined examination booklets that once struck fear into the hearts of students who actually had to, you know, think. The catalyst for this analog renaissance? An epidemic of AI cheating so pervasive that it makes the 1919 Black Sox scandal look like a minor etiquette breach. Students have become so dependent on artificial intelligence that many can no longer distinguish between their own thoughts and those of their digital ai homework assistants . One educator reported discovering a student who had submitted an essay that began with “As an AI language model, I cannot have personal opinions, but here’s my analysis of Romeo and Juliet’s relationship dynamics.” Source: TechOnion Please Donate to TechOnion via Buy Me a Coffee or Patreon…

1
#7 - Builder AI: The Emperor’s New Algorithms – A Cautionary Tale of Silicon Valley’s Latest Naked Truth 18:19

8 days ago18:19

18:19

The Rise of the Algorithmic Aristocracy In the grand tradition of Silicon Valley’s most spectacular implosions, Builder AI emerged from the primordial soup of venture capital with all the fanfare of a digital messiah. Founded on the revolutionary premise that artificial intelligence could be democratized—packaged, productized, and delivered to the masses like a particularly sophisticated Italian pizza—the company promised to transform every small business owner into a tech mogul overnight. The pitch was intoxicating in its simplicity: Why hire expensive software developers when our AI could build your mobile app faster than you could say “ minimum viable product “? Why struggle with complex coding when our algorithms could translate your wildest entrepreneurial dreams into functioning software? It was the technological equivalent of promising that everyone could become Michelangelo simply by purchasing the right paintbrush. Builder AI’s marketing materials read like love letters to human inadequacy. “No-code solutions for the code-averse,” they proclaimed. “AI-powered development for the software development-challenged.” Their target audience wasn’t just non-technical founders—it was anyone who had ever stared at a computer screen and wondered why making it do things required such arcane knowledge. The company’s founder, Sachin Dev Duggal, the chief AI wizard, a charismatic figure who spoke fluent TED Talk and wore the uniform of disruption (black t-shirt, jeans, and the confident smile of someone who had never actually built anything themselves), became a fixture at tech conferences. His presentations were masterpieces of circular logic: AI would revolutionize software development because development needed revolutionizing, and Builder AI was revolutionary because it used AI. Source: TechOnion.org Please Donate via Buy Me a Coffee or Patreon…

1
#6 - The Elon Musk Paradox: When Genius Meets the Immutable Laws of Physics and Public Relations 15:01

9 days ago15:01

15:01

In the grand tradition of Sherlock Holmes examining a crime scene, one must approach the curious case of Elon Musk with methodical precision. The evidence, scattered across the digital landscape like breadcrumbs leading to an inevitable conclusion, presents a fascinating study in the collision between visionary ambition and the stubborn reality of terrestrial limitations. Consider, if you will, the peculiar sequence of events that has unfolded over the past several years. Each decision, when examined in isolation, might appear rational—even inspired. Yet when assembled into a coherent timeline, they form a pattern that would make even Watson raise an eyebrow. 📖 Read the article, " The Elon Musk Paradox: When Genius Meets the Immutable Laws of Physics and Public Relations " 🎁Please Donate to TechOnion via Buy Me a Coffee or Patreon.…

1
#5 - Drone Warfare Evolved: How Your Cousin’s Annoying Christmas Gift Became Humanity’s Most Efficient Killing Machine 11:44

10 days ago11:44

11:44

In what historians will surely record as the fastest technological glow-up since the atom went from “interesting physics concept” to “city eraser,” drones have completed their remarkable journey from “annoying toy your nephew crashes into your forehead during family gatherings” to “preferred method of remote assassination for militaries worldwide.” It’s the heartwarming tale of a plucky little gadget that dreamed big and achieved its full potential – specifically, its potential to rain death from above with unprecedented precision and minimal PR consequences. Just a decade ago, drones were primarily the domain of hobby enthusiasts and wedding photographers trying to get that perfect aerial shot of couples who would later divorce anyway. Today, they are the star performers in conflicts around the globe, beloved by militaries, feared by civilians, and inspiring an entire generation of tech bros to put “disrupting the defense sector” in their LinkedIn profiles. 📖 Read the article, " Drone Warfare Evolved: How Your Cousin’s Annoying Christmas Gift Became Humanity’s Most Efficient Killing Machine " 🎁Donate to TechOnion via Buy Me a Coffee or Patreon.…

1
#4 - USB Cable Apocalypse: How The #4 - Tech Industry Turned Connecting Things Into An Existential Crisis 16:33

11 days ago16:33

16:33

In a world where technological progress supposedly makes our lives easier, the humble USB cable stands as humanity's greatest monument to deliberate confusion. What began in 1995 as a simple idea to standardize connections has evolved into a sprawling, incomprehensible ecosystem that leaves even veteran engineers weeping in the cable aisle at any decent electronics shop still operating physically. Welcome to the USB Standards Thunderdome, where seven connectors enter, and somehow we end up with seventeen more.…

1
#3 - The Attention Arms Race: How China Weaponized Your Brain’s 8-Second Filter with TikTok While America Was Busy Making Content 11:29

12 days ago11:29

11:29

In the digital attention economy , content isn’t just dethroned—it’s been publicly executed, with its head on a pike outside the castle walls as a warning to others. While American tech companies were busy following Bill Gates ‘ 1996 playbook that “Content is King,” China quietly engineered the most devastating psychological weapon since the invention of the television: algorithmic attention capture so advanced it makes cocaine look like chamomile tea. And now, through TikTok , Temu, and other digital platforms, they’ve deployed this weapon directly into the pockets of billions worldwide, hijacking the most valuable and scarce resource of the 21st century—human attention . 📖 Read the article: " The Attention Arms Race: How China Weaponized Your Brain’s 8-Second Filter with TikTok While America Was Busy Making Content " 🎁Donate to TechOnion via Buy me a Coffee or Patreon.…

1
#2 - CEO Replacement Speedrun: Tesla Board Secretly Attempts To Clone 2008 Elon Musk While Current Version Runs D.O.G.E 10:03

13 days ago10:03

10:03

In a shocking revelation that Tesla has vigorously denied with the corporate equivalent of “I did not have textual relations with that executive search firm,” the Wall Street Journal reported last week that Tesla’s board began contacting headhunters to find someone – anyone – who could replace Elon Musk as CEO while the billionaire was busy slashing government jobs faster than Twitter’s (now X) workforce circa 2022. This development comes as T esla’s stock has plummeted 41% from its December peak, and first-quarter automotive revenue dropped 20% compared to last year. 📖 Read the article, " CEO Replacement Speedrun: Tesla Board Secretly Attempts To Clone 2008 Elon Musk While Current Version Runs D.O.G.E " 🎁Donate to TechOnion vis Buy Me A Coffee or Patreon.…

1
#1 Google I/O 2025: Hasty Announcements, Empty Wallets, and the World’s Most Expensive Digital Storage Locker 13:10

15 days ago13:10