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#206 Finding connection and community when hoarding feels isolating

That Hoarder: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding

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Hoarding disorder can feel deeply isolating, and finding genuine connection isn’t always straightforward.

In this episode, I talk about building community - both through hoarding-specific peer groups, online spaces, as well as simply nurturing friendships outside the home.

I share practical ways to reconnect, set boundaries, and remind yourself that you deserve care and companionship, whatever your home looks like.

  • The Relationship Between Hoarding and Isolation
  • How hoarding and isolation often accompany each other
  • Feelings of shame and concern about being misunderstood
  • Secrecy around hoarding, even from friends
  • Impact of loneliness on motivation and self-worth
  • The fundamental human need for connection
  • Finding Community: Hoarding-Specific Support
  • Benefits of speaking with others who “get” hoarding
  • Relief and authenticity in hoarding-focused communities
  • Misunderstandings and stigma around hoarding in general society
  • Shared language and understanding in dedicated groups
  • Types of Hoarding Communities
  • Peer support groups (both for people who hoard and for their loved ones)
  • Differences between in-person and online groups
  • Dehoarding accountability Zoom groups run by the host
  • Therapy groups led by professionals
  • Online forums, social media groups, and subreddits
  • Choosing a Support Group and Overcoming Barriers
  • The process of finding the right group for your needs
  • Not all groups will fit; trial and error is normal
  • Common barriers: fear of judgment, privacy concerns, and feeling overwhelmed
  • Exploring online versus in-person options based on comfort and access
  • Managing triggers and emotional challenges when joining a group
  • Broadening Community Beyond Hoarding
  • Importance of connection outside of the hoarding context
  • How hoarding can lead to progressive social isolation
  • Ways to set boundaries while still building relationships
  • Alternative Sources of Community & Connection
  • Joining hobby or interest-based groups (gardening, book clubs, crafts, etc.)
  • Attending classes and workshops (in-person or online)
  • Volunteering for shared causes and the benefits it offers
  • Engaging in outdoor activity groups for physical and mental health
  • Involvement in faith communities (acknowledging varied experiences)
  • Nurturing and Rekindling Friendships
  • The value of maintaining and nurturing friendships
  • Strategies for reconnecting with old friends (acknowledging awkwardness)
  • Personal anecdotes demonstrating successful reconnection
  • Maintaining and Deepening Existing Friendships
  • Creative ways of keeping in touch (memes, postcards, regular outings)
  • Showing care and interest without inviting people into your home
  • Importance of honesty about personal limitations
  • Navigating difficult moments with friends through gentle outreach
  • Building New Friendships
  • The importance of patience and consistent small efforts
  • Transitioning from casual acquaintance to meaningful connection
  • Reciprocity and mutual engagement as key to growing relationships
  • Natural pace of friendship development
  • The Value of Self-Compassion
  • Being a good friend to yourself while seeking social connections
  • Avoiding self-blame and catastrophic thinking
  • Recognising your own worth despite challenges related to hoarding
  • Taking Small Steps Toward Connection
  • Encouragement to take actionable, manageable steps to build community
  • Celebrating small efforts toward greater connection
  • Realistic expectations about gradual progress
  • Suggestions for relevant previous podcast episodes on loneliness, accountability, and community

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