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In this heartfelt and honest discussion, Coach Rye opens up about the unique challenges and emotional nuances of celebrating special occasions like birthdays when you're an immigrant living far from family and your past life. He shares personal experiences from his journey moving to Canada, discussing the melancholic feelings that can arise and offering practical advice on how to build new support systems and redefine traditions for a fulfilling life abroad.

Key Takeaways:

  • The Emotional Side of Special Days Abroad: Coach Rye shares how celebrating milestones like birthdays can bring a unique blend of joy and a "melancholic feeling" when you're an immigrant, often leading to a sense of broken traditions and distance from familiar celebrations. He acknowledges the emotional complexities faced by those living away from their home country.

  • Building Your New Circle of Support: A significant focus is placed on the importance and challenges of building a new support system in a new country. Coach Rye highlights that making personal friends as an adult, especially when working, can be more difficult than in earlier life stages like college. He emphasizes the value of being open to new connections and cultivating a small, tight-knit group of friends who understand and respect each other's space.

  • Creating New Traditions: The discussion encourages resetting and brainstorming entirely new traditions to mark special days in your new home. Coach Rye shares his own journey of trying to establish new ways to celebrate amidst moving between different provinces in Canada. He suggests exploring local activities, specific meals, or unique shared experiences as ways to build meaningful new traditions.

  • Navigating Long-Distance Relationships: A realistic look at maintaining relationships with family and friends across different time zones and life commitments. Coach Rye advises changing expectations, recognizing that a simple message or text might represent a significant effort from loved ones far away. He stresses the importance of assuming positive intent and appreciating every gesture, no matter how small.

  • Balancing Longing and Present Joy: The core message revolves around finding a healthy balance between longing for the past and familiar celebrations, and truly finding joy and appreciation in your current life and new surroundings. It's about acknowledging the natural anxieties and sadness that can accompany the immigrant journey, but actively seeking out and embracing new experiences to make your special days fulfilling wherever you are.

Discussion Questions:

  • How do you personally manage the mix of excitement and nostalgia/sadness on special days when you're far from your home country?

  • What unique traditions have you successfully started in your new country to celebrate birthdays or other special occasions?

  • How have your long-distance relationships with family and friends evolved since you moved, and what strategies do you use to maintain connection despite time differences and life commitments?

  • What's one piece of advice you'd give to a new immigrant struggling with celebrating special days away from their familiar traditions?

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24 episodes