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Not all disconnection starts with big arguments. Sometimes, it’s the subtle eye roll, the ignored message, or the joke that cuts a little too sharp. This episode explores how small, everyday moments of tension—micro-conflicts—can quietly erode trust and connection. You'll learn how to recognize them, why they matter more than we think, and how to address them before they grow into something bigger.
Key Takeaways
- Micro conflicts are subtle moments of tension in relationships.
- They can accumulate and lead to significant emotional distance.
- Many people are conditioned to ignore these conflicts.
- Micro conflicts are signals that indicate what needs repair.
- They chip away at trust in slow, quiet ways.
- Big conflicts are easy to identify, but micro conflicts often go unresolved.
- Naming micro conflicts is essential for emotional regulation.
- Curiosity can help prevent escalation of conflicts.
- Small moments hold big information about relationships.
- Addressing micro conflicts can strengthen connections.
📚 Sources Referenced:
- Marc Brackett, Ph.D. (2019). Permission to Feel: Unlocking the Power of Emotions to Help Our Kids, Ourselves, and Our Society Thrive
- John Gottman & The Gottman Institute (2015). Micro-interactions research.
- Thema Bryant, Ph.D. (2022). Homecoming Overcome Fear and Trauma to Reclaim Your Whole, Authentic Self.
- Harriet Lerner, Ph.D. (2001). The Dance of Connection: How to Talk to Someone When You're Mad, Hurt, Scared, Frustrated, Insulted, Betrayed, or Desperate.
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Chapters
1. Understanding Micro Conflicts (00:00:00)
2. The Impact of Micro Conflicts (00:03:23)
3. Recognizing and Naming Micro Conflicts (00:07:03)
4. Preventing Escalation Through Curiosity (00:09:50)
46 episodes