Black Girls Heal helps women break out of cycles of unhealthy relationships with unavailable partners and feeling not enough by combining coaching, therapeutic support, and practical tools. Every episode, we will talk about intimacy, attachment, healing unresolved trauma, and growing in our self worth.
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Loveavoidance Podcasts
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310: 3 Ways to Keep Fostering Deep Love With Your Person
27:30
27:30
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27:30In this episode, Shena reviews 3 tips to help recovered love addicts and love avoidants foster deep love when you are with your person. The goal is to combat unhealthy patterns you may have brought into your loving relationship to keep the love and connection easy. Click here to enroll in the BGH Method, our 90 day recovery accelator for love addic…
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#309: Why Stressed Women Stay and How to Make Them Leave
23:23
23:23
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23:23In this episode, I review what are the things that will make a woman who is in a relationship that is draining her finally leave and what are the things that may make her stay. Get this week's podcast episode worksheet in our BGH Members Club at http://www.blackgirlsheal.org/club Break this cycle and step out of this issue with the BGH Method, our …
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#308: How to Know They Like You (And Why That's Important)
23:43
23:43
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23:43In this episode, Shena returns refreshed and ready to dive deep into an important and affirming topic: how to recognize when someone actually likes you—and why that clarity matters. She explains that while we often focus on red flags, it’s just as vital to know the green flags of emotional safety, care, and genuine interest. This episode is all abo…
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#307: Consequences of Being With the Wrong Person (Thoughts from Love Island)
36:37
36:37
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36:37In this episode, Shena reflects on the consequences and how one's life can be affected if we are connected to those who give red flag behaviors and indicators that they may not be a good match for us emotionally, mentally, or physically (in regards ot safety). Our Sponsors: * Check out Infinite Epigenetics: https://infiniteepigenetics.com/BGH * Che…
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#306: 7 Tips to Recover after a Friendship Breakup
50:52
50:52
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50:52This episode for anyone who is experiencing or has experienced a friendship breakup that has been hard to recover from. I hope these 7 tips help you move forward and find friendships that help you feel fulfilled and whole. Resources mentioned in the episode: Join the BGH's Members Club: blackgirlsheal.org/members The 4 Step Roadmap to Heal Love Add…
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#305: 4 Ways to Tell the Friendship May Be Temporary
51:18
51:18
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51:18In this episode of the Black Girls Heal podcast, we're diving into a topic that often brings up complex emotions - recognizing when friendships might be temporary. You know those relationships that feel so intense and meaningful in the moment, but somehow don't stand the test of time? Let's talk about why that happens and why it might actually be p…
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In this episode, we break down how to start creating your own healing circles. Resources mentioned in the episode: Join the BGH's Members Club: blackgirlsheal.org/members The 4 Step Roadmap to Heal Love Addiction: https://www.blackgirlsheal.org/roadmap Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Join The Recovery School, my signature coachi…
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#303: How to Make Adult Female Friendships with Danielle Bayard Jackson
47:34
47:34
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47:34Why is it so difficult for some women to find and maintain healthy female friendships? Joining me today is Danielle Bayard Jackson, The Friendship Expert, to share more about this topic and to help provide actionable advice to get your friendships back on track, even if they’ve fallen off due to the pandemic. Danielle is a publicist by day and a ce…
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#302: Dealing with Disappointment from Your Mom as an Adult
30:35
30:35
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30:35In this episode, I talk about managing disappointment from your relationship with your mother as an adult if you have experienced false starts towards intimacy or seen self sabotage on your mother's part. Resources mentioned in the episode: Join the BGH's Members Club: blackgirlsheal.org/members The 4 Step Roadmap to Heal Love Addiction: https://ww…
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#301: When Your Mom is Competitive With You
47:47
47:47
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47:47In this episode, Shena discusses how to cope when you have a mother who is competitive with you, the signs of the jealousy and competition, and potential sources of where it may come from. Resources mentioned in the episode: Join the BGH's Members Club: blackgirlsheal.org/members The 4 Step Roadmap to Heal Love Addiction: https://www.blackgirlsheal…
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#300: How to Heal From Your Mother Wound?
30:59
30:59
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30:59Our mother relationship is our first relationship as we come into this world. As a result, if we have unresolved trauma, it will manifest in how we see ourselves, how we see others, and what we pass down to future generations. Resources mentioned in the episode: Join the BGH's Members Club: blackgirlsheal.org/members The 4 Step Roadmap to Heal Love…
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In this episode of Black Girls Heal, we dive deep into financial codependency—a pattern where you feel obligated to support others financially, even to your own detriment. We explore its roots, how it manifests in various relationships, and the emotional toll it takes. You'll learn about practical steps to break free from this cycle, including a 90…
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In this episode of Black Girls Heal, we discuss the crucial topic of feeling deserving and why it's essential for receiving the love you desire. We explore how internalizing negative beliefs and trauma can lead to feeling undeserving, even when we outwardly affirm our worth. You'll learn practical steps to identify the emotional 'weeds' that choke …
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In this episode, Shena discusses healing from codependency to improve your self love and the questions you need to ask yourself to adjust your boundaries. Resources mentioned in the episode: Join the BGH's Members Club: blackgirlsheal.org/members The 4 Step Roadmap to Heal Love Addiction: https://www.blackgirlsheal.org/roadmap Ready to heal your Lo…
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#296: Is it Compatibility or Codependency?
36:17
36:17
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36:17In this episode, Shena discusses how to tell if the connection that you're feeling in a relationship is codependency or compatibility. Resources mentioned in the episode: Join the BGH's Members Club: blackgirlsheal.org/members The 4 Step Roadmap to Heal Love Addiction: https://www.blackgirlsheal.org/roadmap Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love …
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#295: 3 Mistakes I made Dating as a Love Avoidant
32:20
32:20
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32:20When I was dating, I made a lot of mistakes related to how I presented in my intimacy disorders. This week, I'm talking about how my love avoidance showed up for me in my relationships. For me, my personal experience and how that connected to my religious education really amplified a lot of my avoidance which is also discussed. This episode will no…
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#294: 3 Hidden Ways We Ignore (and Encourage) Red Flags in Others
52:32
52:32
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52:32In this episode, I review 3 hidden ways we may unknowingly ignore (and encourage) red flags in new people we meet. Resources mentioned in the episode: Join the BGH's Members Club: blackgirlsheal.org/members The 4 Step Roadmap to Heal Love Addiction: https://www.blackgirlsheal.org/roadmap Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Join The …
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#293: When You Like Someone as a Love Avoidant
33:32
33:32
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33:32What does it look like to be available to others after you've been working on your love avoidance symptoms. In this episode, I share 3 tips for those who are starting this journey building relationships in a different way. Resources mentioned in the episode: Join the BGH's Members Club: blackgirlsheal.org/members The 4 Step Roadmap to Heal Love Add…
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#292: Going from Being Love Avoidant to Love Available
22:07
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22:07In today's episode, we review going from Love Avoidant to Love Available using the Healed and Loved Woman framework model. Resources mentioned in the episode: Join the BGH's Members Club: blackgirlsheal.org/members The 4 Step Roadmap to Heal Love Addiction: https://www.blackgirlsheal.org/roadmap Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? J…
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#291: Don't Text Them (Sit on Your Hands)
41:53
41:53
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41:53In this episode of Black Girls Heal, we revisit the topic of 'No Contact' and the seven-day 'Don't Text Them: Sit on Your Effing Hands Challenge.' This discussion is aimed at those caught in addictive or trauma-bonded relationships, whether romantic, familial, or friendships. We discuss topics like recognizing toxic relationships, the importance of…
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#290: Setting Unrealistic Fantasies as a Love Addict (Love Addiction Series)
27:44
27:44
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27:44Watch our free How to Stop Dating the Wrong People & Fix Your Internal Magnet masterclass: Click here register Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Click here to join our The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled CONNECT WITH US ELSEWHERE Website: Blackgirlsheal…
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#289: How Childhood Emotional Neglect Leads to Love Addiction (Love Addiction Series)
36:43
36:43
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36:43In today's episode I talk about the impact of childhood emotional neglect and how it leads to the behaviours of love addiction Whether you are connected to love addition, love avoidance or low self esteem, if you are wondering why you continue in the same type of self doubts or keep being attracted to certain types of people, my hope is that this e…
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Which love addict archetype do you identify with and how do you begin to heal from it? In this week’s episode of Black Girls Heal, I’m breaking down the four main archetypes of love addiction and why each of these patterns comes with its own unique set of challenges AND beautiful qualities. Whether you're constantly chasing “the one,” afraid to be …
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#287: How to Deal with Grief and Unexpectedly Losing a Loved One
40:30
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40:30How do you hold yourself through grief when it feels too heavy to carry? In this heartfelt episode of Black Girls Heal, I’m sharing my personal reflections and tools for navigating the emotional waves of grief, especially aftera sudden or unexpected loss. Whether it's the loss of a family member, a friend, a beloved pet, or a mentor, grief can shak…
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#285: 3 Mistakes Love Avoidants Make in Dating
37:42
37:42
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37:42Is your fear of intimacy keeping you from the love you want? In this episode of Black Girls Heal, we’re diving deep into love avoidance—what it is, how it shows up, and the mistakes that keep us from building healthy, connected relationships. If you find yourself pulling away when things get too good, struggling to be vulnerable, or avoiding dating…
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#284: 3 Dating Mistakes to Avoid as a Love Addict
33:16
33:16
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33:16Are you falling in love with potential instead of reality? In this episode of Black Girls Heal, I’m diving into three critical mistakes love addicts make when dating—mistakes that can keep you stuck in unhealthy cycles. Whether you're unknowingly romanticizing red flags, struggling to walk away from emotionally unavailable partners, or making datin…
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#283: How to Host a Healing Circle With Friends
50:57
50:57
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50:57In this episode of the Black Girls Heal podcast, I'm diving deep into how healing circles can transform your journey through love addiction recovery. After years of coaching women through attachment struggles, I've seen firsthand how creating the right community can accelerate healing in ways individual work simply can't. We explore exactly how to …
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#282: How to Heal in Community (7 Tips to Make Sisterhood Work)
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50:15
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50:15In this episode of the Black Girls Heal podcast, I'm diving deep into something that's essential for our healing journey but often overlooked—the power of sisterhood and community. As someone who's experienced both the isolation of healing alone and the transformative power of healing in community, I'm sharing seven practical tips to help you build…
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#281: Why You Stay in Relationships When You're Tired
47:24
47:24
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47:24In this episode of the Black Girls Heal podcast, we're having an honest conversation about something that hits deep—why we stay in relationships even when we're completely exhausted. From social media discussions to real-life experiences, we're seeing how women often find themselves caught in cycles of emotional labor and self-improvement, all whil…
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#280: How to Cope When Your Dating Partner Stops Responding (No Contact)
49:48
49:48
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49:48In this episode of the Black Girls Heal podcast, we're diving deep into something that can shake your whole world—when someone you're dating suddenly goes quiet or starts feeding you breadcrumbs of attention. Whether they're ghosting you completely or keeping you hanging with "I'm just busy" texts, we're getting real about what this behavior actual…
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#279: 4 Steps to Help Yourself Heal & Relationships to Flourish
35:33
35:33
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35:33In this episode of the Black Girls Heal podcast, I'm breaking down the complete framework I use with my coaching clients to transform their relationship patterns — the Bloom Method. After years of helping women heal from love addiction, love avoidance, and love deprivation, I've developed this powerful approach that guides you from identifying toxi…
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#278: The First 3 Steps to Heal Love Addiction
35:11
35:11
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35:11In this episode of the Black Girls Heal podcast, we dive deep into the topic of love addiction and explore the steps to break free from its cycles. Learn about the free downloadable resource “The Five Step Roadmap to Heal Love Addiction” and discover how to identify and detox from addictive relationships. We also discuss the importance of addressin…
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#277: 3 Ways to Not Move Too Fast in a New Relationship
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33:26
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33:26In this episode of the Black Girls Heal podcast, we're diving into something that many of us struggle with—protecting our individuality when new love enters the picture. You know that excitement when someone new comes into your life and suddenly you want to share every moment with them? Today, we're talking about why that impulse, though natural, n…
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#276: How I Use Astrology for Love and Healing
1:17:45
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1:17:45In this episode of the Black Girls Heal podcast, I'm diving deep into how I personally use astrology as a powerful tool for healing and understanding relationships. As someone who was once skeptical and came from a Christian ministry background, I share how astrology has evolved from being something I dismissed to becoming an invaluable resource in…
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#275: The 7 Levels of Availability for ALL Relationships
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43:57In this episode of the Black Girls Heal podcast, we're diving into a game-changing tool that's about to transform how you evaluate potential relationships - the Availability Scale. Drawing from my new book 'How to Pick Partners for Love Addicts,' we're breaking down the seven levels of availability that determine whether someone is truly ready and …
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#274: 3 Ways to Have the Best Relationships in 2025
28:40
28:40
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28:40In this episode of the Black Girls Heal podcast, we're kicking off 2025 with a powerful conversation about building stronger, healthier relationships - and yes, we're having this talk even through a 103-degree fever because that's how important this message is! Whether you're dealing with love addiction, love avoidance, or just want to level up you…
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#273: How Fear of Abandonment Affects Your Relationships
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29:58
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29:58Fear of abandonment can create a lot of insecurity and conflict in a relationship. In this episode, we break down 3 signs to look out for to add to your recovery plan for healing. Get the New Book here on Amazon Register for the How to Make it Work Between Love Avoidants and Love Addicts Workshop here Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoida…
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#272: 3 Green Flags Someone is Available for Love (How to Pick Partners for Love Addicts)
40:42
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40:42In this episode, I will go over 3 green flags of availability for healthy partners for love addicts pulling from my new book, How to Pick Partners for Love Addicts. Get the New Book here on Amazon Register for the How to Make it Work Between Love Avoidants and Love Addicts Workshop here Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Click here…
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#271: 3 Tips to Deal with Holiday Overwhelm, Stress & Mental Fatigue
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40:15
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40:15On top of the normal holiday overwhelm, it seems like many of us are dealing with fatigue that we just can't catch a break. In today's episode, I give 3 tips to help support where you are. Enroll in the 60 Day Love Avoidant Rehab Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Click here to join our The Recovery School, my signature coaching pr…
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#270: 4 Ways to Tell the Friendship May Be Temporary
47:27
47:27
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47:27In this episode of the Black Girls Heal podcast, we're diving into a topic that often brings up complex emotions - recognizing when friendships might be temporary. You know those relationships that feel so intense and meaningful in the moment, but somehow don't stand the test of time? Let's talk about why that happens and why it might actually be p…
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#269: Navigating Seasons of Relational Conflict (Throwback episode)
38:10
38:10
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38:10In this episode of the Black Girls Heal podcast, we're diving into something all of us face but nobody really wants to talk about - those seasons when it feels like you're in conflict with EVERYONE. You know those times? When it seems like every conversation is tense, every interaction is challenging, and you're starting to wonder if maybe you're t…
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In this episode of the Black Girls Heal podcast, we're taking a moment to celebrate YOU. Yes, you! We're shifting away from our usual conversations about red flags and relationship challenges to focus on something equally important - acknowledging just how far you've come in your healing journey. You know those moments when you catch a red flag ear…
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#267: 3 Ways to Cope When They Don't Care
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38:53
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38:53In this episode of the Black Girls Heal podcast, we're getting real about something that hits deep - what do you do when someone just stops showing up for you emotionally? You know that feeling when their energy shifts, the care fades, and you're left wondering what happened? After seeing so many TikTok conversations about love avoidance and no con…
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#266: 7 Benefits of Taking it Slow in a Relationship
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48:05In this episode of the Black Girls Heal podcast, we dive into the seven benefits of taking it slow in a relationship — the power of a 'slow burn.' I discuss the reasons behind why rushing into relationships can be problematic, especially for love addicts, and share practical tips on how to pace relationships effectively. I also explore how going sl…
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#265: 3 Hidden Ways We Ignore (and Encourage) Red Flags in Others
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49:59In this episode, I review 3 hidden ways we may unknowingly ignore (and encourage) red flags in new people we meet. Our Sponsors: * Check out Infinite Epigenetics: https://infiniteepigenetics.com/BGH * Check out Mint Mobile: https://mintmobile.com/BGH * Check out Uncommon Goods: https://uncommongoods.com/bgh Support this podcast at — https://redcirc…
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#264: “Am I Quitting?” and the Future of Black Girls Heal
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40:22In this episode, I talk about why I'm quitting and what's coming next for Black Girls Heal! Resources mentioned in the episode: Register for the BGH Lover Girl's Weekend Workshop on Saturday,, February 8, 2025 at blackgirlsheal.org/events Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Join The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to …
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#263: Checking the Facts When You're in Conflict
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50:43In this episode of Black Girls Heal, we explore the importance of checking the facts when feeling threatened, especially for those healing from trauma. We discuss how trauma can heighten our threat response, making it difficult to discern real threats from perceived ones. The episode delves into the skill of 'checking the facts,' a concept derived …
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In this episode of Black Girls Heal, we dive into the poignant topic of rejection, inspired by heartfelt conversations from my recent cruise trip. Focusing on love addiction, I discuss the fear of abandonment and the insecurities it breeds. Together, we explore how to cope with rejection, understand its impact, and reclaim our power. You'll learn a…
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#261: The Importance of Pacing While Dating + Checking In
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1:01:20In this episode of Black Girls Heal, we dive into a major milestone — our very first video podcast episode! After years of audio-only recordings, I am showing up in video to connect with you more intimately. I start with a heartfelt check-in, sharing my personal experiences of transitions and the collective 'hell' many of us have gone through recen…
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In this episode of Black Girls Heal, I delve into the intricacies of implementing a no-contact process while co-parenting. This much-requested topic focuses on maintaining emotional neutrality and setting firm boundaries when you have to communicate with a co-parent for the sake of your children. I’ll share practical steps and tips designed to help…
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