If you’re like me, there was a time when everything seemed to be going just fine. Until it wasn't. I don't know what it's been for you. Maybe a divorce. Sickness. Rejection. Addiction. Abuse. Bankruptcy. Loss. Whatever it is, I know it has you asking, "Can my life ever be good again?" But what if I told you that your place of trouble is also the place where hope is found? I know it doesn't make sense but from what I've seen, it's how God does things. And that means you're not stuck – and you ...
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Uncommon Valor Podcasts
Did you ever like a movie but don't know if you still do? Us too! Every month indie rapper, writer and comedian SJ The Wordburglar is joined by a special guest to revisit a movie they used to like. And if you want more Wordburglar check out our cousin podcast "Weekend At Burgie's".
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225. You DON'T Need to Process Everything.
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22:24There are times when doing deep emotional processing can create more problems than it solves. In this episode, Michelle shares about the difference between productive and unproductive processing, and what to do when "feeling your feelings" turns into a full-scale spiral. In This Episode: Learn more about healing painful moments with the free PDF "G…
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224. Progress Over Perfection: Ben Zobrist on "Doing the Work" and What it Means for the Ones We Love
49:21
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49:21We may use or hear the phrase "doing the work" but what that means can be somewhat unique for each of us. Champion Forward co-founder and retired professional baseball player Ben Zobrist opens up about his experiences with "doing the work" in his own life. We also talk about the role of pain in becoming emotionally aware, the benefits of processing…
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223. Bridging the Gap Between Harm & Healing (Triggers & Intrusive Thoughts Pt. 3)
38:07
38:07
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38:07Sometimes you may become so overwhelmed by a distressing experience that figuring out where to begin your healing process seems too daunting. In this episode, I'm discussing the role of resources & support in initiating the process of repair, and how to incorporate spiritual "scaffolding" into an approach that invites not just repair in the present…
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222. Relational Regulation (Triggers & Intrusive Thoughts Pt. 2)
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27:41
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27:41Triggered traumas and intrusive thoughts can leave you feeling profoundly fearful and alone. Regulation techniques can help calm the nervous system, but an underlying sense of loneliness and vulnerability may remain. In this episode, I share about the role of relationships in regulating emotions, and how an early lack of support can cause distress …
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221. Triggers, Intrusive Thoughts, & Spiritual Warfare
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31:09We often think of the spiritual part of ourselves as being separate from our body/mind/emotions; but the truth is we are experiencing spiritual realities in our natural being – And that includes spiritual warfare. In this episode, I share about the role of spiritual warfare in mental and emotional distress, and what it looks like to incorporate spi…
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220. Torn Apart? You're Being Retethered.
34:34
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34:34When you feel hopeless, it may seem like there's no way you'll ever find hope (and there's definitely no way you'll figure out how to "make it happen." But what if that's exactly where hope is found? In this episode, I'm sharing about a time when I felt like I was coming apart at the seams, and how God helped me to understand this is exactly the pl…
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We've all made choices that we regret, and sometimes those choices have hurt the people we love in ways that seem to be beyond repair. In this episode, I'm sharing about a situation just like this, and the unexpected way God revealed He truly is bigger (and better) than our mistakes. In This Episode: Check out my Bible study, Made for More: Life Be…
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Okay, so last week I talked about learning to be vulnerable with safe people- but for me, that's not really where learning to be vulnerable started. It didn't start with friends or family- it started with my Father. This week I'm sharing about what it looks like to be vulnerable in a relationship with God, and the healing that comes when we are rea…
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217. Receiving Help (When You REALLY Don't Want To)
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26:51
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26:51Do you hate asking for help? Asking for help can be a humiliating experience, and receiving it can feel even worse. In this episode, I share an experience where I had to face the shame of opening myself up to receive help, and what it taught me about the beautiful way God pours out His love on us through safe people. In this episode: Safe Haven: A …
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"God, I need people." I prayed this desperate prayer in a season of loneliness and isolation, when NOTHING I did to find community was working out. I asked- and God answered (and NOT in the way I expected). In this episode, I'm sharing how God used a 1600-mile move to change more than just my zip code, and what He did to teach me more about hearing…
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215. Needs, Wants, & Trusting God with It All
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26:13How involved do you think God is when it comes to what you need? Or what you want? In this episode, I share what God showed me about our needs and wants, and how much more we gain when we trust Him to provide. Follow me on Instagram @themichelledonnelly or Facebook @themichelledonnelly Check out my books and services at uncommonvalor.co In This Epi…
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214. You need a break. Here's how to get one.
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28:30Okay, you may know you need a break, but you might not be sure how to get one. With all you have going on, it may not seem possible (or responsible), and even if you got a break, you may not feel like you'd be in the headspace to actually enjoy it. In this episode I want to share with you a little bit about what I learned about rest during my podca…
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213. Pacing Yourself Through the Holidays
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23:17The holidays can be kind of a mixed bag. This time of year can be full of high hopes and dashed dreams. Emotions run high – and not just our own. With the intensity of the season, it can be hard to figure out what you need while supporting the needs of the people in your life. In this episode, I share how I learned to understand my own needs at the…
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Do you tend to brace for the worst? Sometimes we think we're being diligent, that we're being prepared. But what if we're not actually preparing but panicking? In this episode, I share about my own tendency to worry about the future, and how you can enjoy today without bracing for fear of the future. Follow Michelle on Instagram @themichelledonnell…
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Can you say 'no'? Sometimes we say 'yes' to everything because we want to be seen as dependable and reliable. We like being the one people can count on – and we like how that makes us feel. It makes us feel like we matter. But what what if you already matter? What if your significance isn't tied to how much you do for other people at all? In this e…
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The strange thing about insecurity is the more we try to control it, the more it ends up controlling us. Insecurities are built on lies, and while there might be one big one you are aware of, often there are dozens of little ones that go with it. Which makes untangling them like untangling a knotted necklace. Ugh. In this episode, I share about the…
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We often think of the storms of life as the circumstances outside of us. But what do you do when the storm is inside? Our thought lives can be really stormy. Obsessions, worries, and intrusive thoughts can cause us to feel like we are at the mercy of our minds. Is there a way to make it all stop? In this episode, I share my own struggles with troub…
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"Why?" It's a question we all ask. Why did this have to happen? Why is this my story? Why can't my life be like everyone else's? We can get frustrated and discouraged when the answers don't come. And yet, not getting answers isn't necessarily a bad thing. We can get fixated with getting all the answers. We read books, go to seminars, or Google, "Wh…
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Do you feel like you're carrying it all in your relationships? You're doing what you can - walking on eggshells, trying to make things easier for them - but it only seems to get harder for you. You feel trapped- like there's nothing you can do to change things. It's true- you can't change them. But you can change you. In this episode, I share what …
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206. "Keeping the Peace" Doesn't Work | Boundaries Explained
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32:24If setting boundaries (or sticking to them) is hard for you, it's probably because of THIS one thing: You're trying to "keep the peace." When we don't have good boundaries, it's usually because we want to avoid conflict, or avoid losing a relationship. But If you have to work so hard to "keep the peace," do you even have real peace in the first pla…
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205. When Feeling Your Feelings Seems Pointless
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25:21We've all heard the expression, "Feel your feelings." But what if feeling your feelings just seems pointless? What if they seem to be in the way and will just end up holding you back? I know the feeling (no pun intended) all too well. In this episode, I'm sharing what God taught me about feeling feelings and what He does through them to give us the…
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At the beginning, setting boundaries can feel not just uncomfortable, but wrong. So how can we get it right? The good news is learning to set boundaries doesn't actually start with other people. It starts with you. In this episode, Michelle talks about what boundaries really protect and how to start establishing boundaries with yourself so you can …
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203. Believing God Is Good...When Things Don't Feel Good
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25:10When the bottom falls out, all of us inevitably end up asking this question: Is God good? It's a big thing we each have to wrestle with, but the way we move through it is actually bite-sized. In this episode, Michelle shares how she worked through a season of questioning God's goodness, and how taking her questions straight to God revealed the answ…
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Do you ever feel like God is mad at you? Like you can never do enough to please Him? So often when we feel disconnected from God, we do things to try to close the gap. But somehow it never seems to be enough. It seems we'll never measure up. But what if the things you're doing to reconnect with God are only adding to the disconnection? Today I'm le…
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For the longest time after my divorce, I constantly wondered if my life could ever be good again. Do you know what I mean? There was a time when things seemed to be "fine"- until they weren't. And I wanted so desperately to get back there. But you know what I found out? Things were never "fine." And you know what else? "Fine" is actually not good e…
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Yes, I bought a wedding dress. No, I am not engaged. Michelle opens up about her journey of waiting to be married, why she bought a wedding dress, and what it means if you are in the middle of a season of waiting on God too. Purchase access to the new devotional, What Are You Waiting For? A Raw & Real-Time Journey Through Longing, Surrender, & Desi…
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199. Can Any Good Come Out of This? | Nicole Unice
35:56
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35:56We've all heard the verse, "What you meant for evil, God meant for good," but sometimes, we just don't see how that could be possible in our own lives. Nicole Unice shares how Scripture can help us understand what God is doing in our difficult circumstances, and how the stories of others can help us believe that God is remaking our own lives and br…
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198. Toxic Loyalty | When Your Pity for Them is Poison to You
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38:58Do you think of yourself as especially compassionate and loyal? Are you frustrated with others who don't seem to return the favor? You may have fallen for the trap of toxic loyalty. Michelle discusses toxic loyalty (also called toxic empathy) and how it often is a challenge for those who are gifted in generosity and mercy. She shares the common wea…
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197. How Did I Miss This? | Barriers to Awareness for Abuse Survivors with Stacey Womack
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42:06Every abuse survivor eventually asks themselves, "Why didn't I see this? How did I miss this?" Once a survivor becomes aware that what they have experienced is abuse, what often follows is a flood of conflicting emotions like fear and shame over not having realized it sooner. Stacey Womack from Abuse Recovery Ministry Services shares why victims do…
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196. What if You Don't Have to Just Take What You Can Get? | Stefanie & Caleb Rouse
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49:34The hurt and loss we experience in life can destroy our dreams, and cause us to think maybe we just have to take what we can get. Stefanie & Caleb Rouse share how brokenheartedness can cause us to shut down our hearts and start to settle for less than what we really desire. Purchase Stefanie & Caleb's book, Wholehearted Love: Overcome the Barriers …
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195. Why Do I Keep Attracting Toxic People? | What We Don't Repair, We Repeat
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33:58Do your relationships seem to be nothing but an endless trail of toxicity? Michelle discusses how we get sucked into the wrong relationships without realizing it, and why we tolerate toxicity when we don't have to. She also shares 4 snares that may be drawing you into toxic and abusive relationships, and reveals how to avoid attracting toxic people…
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194. I Can't Do This! | What To Do When You Keep Falling Short with Becky Beresford
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42:51Culture is full of messaging that tells us we can do anything we put our minds to – and yet somewhere along the line, we begin to see that this is just not true. When the circumstances of our lives leave us feeling like we're falling short, the resulting shame and disappointment can be overwhelming. Becky Beresford shares how common cultural expres…
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193. The Games Abusers Play | Tricia Lott Williford & Jana Richardson
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53:39For many coming to terms with an abusive relationship, there is often a stage in which you wonder, "How did I get here in the first place?" Michelle discusses the early stages of the abusive dynamic with survivor Tricia Lott Williford and therapist Jana Richardson MA LPC EMDR. They delve into the grooming tactics many abusers use to manipulate and …
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192. Is God Punishing Me? | When the Darkness Doesn't Lift with Dr. Alicia Britt Chole
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35:58When you've been in a long season of spiritual pain, you may begin to wonder if God is punishing you. It's not uncommon in suffering to begin questioning your faith and wrestling with what you believe. Dr. Alicia Britt Chole shares about the experience of disillusionment we experience in dark nights of the soul, and illuminates that the questions w…
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Do you ever wonder if prayer even matters? In difficult seasons, we may struggle with the feeling that prayer is pointless- we may think, "Isn't God just going to do what He's going to do anyway?" Michelle shares about a dark season when she wrestled with trusting God and how prayer played a huge role in helping her get unstuck. Purchase Ignite: St…
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190. When You're Just Too Tired to Get Back Up Again | Lina Abujamra
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46:09Hardships and suffering can knock us down so hard that we just get tired of having to get back up again. But what if it doesn't all depend on us? Lina Abujamra shares how resiliency doesn't really depend on us doing more, but rather on simply learning to abide in the love of God for us as He works through our weaknesses. She also talks about how su…
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189. When God Hasn't Answered Your Prayers Yet | Rachel Miller
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33:11Waiting seasons can get long and the ache of unmet longing can often be too much to deal with. What do we do when God hasn't answered our prayers? Rachel Miller shares the importance of allowing longings to exist, and how to deal with times when the discouragement is overwhelming. She also discusses what God is doing through these seasons of hoping…
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188. Are Smartphones Making Loneliness + Anxiety Worse? | Dr. Darren Whitehead
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37:24Most of us have a smartphone so we can stay connected, yet they may actually be making loneliness worse. Dr. Darren Whitehead discusses the impact of smartphones on your mental, emotional, & spiritual well-being, and how distraction devices worsen anxiety and loneliness. He shares how a digital fast can recalibrate your attention span, boost the qu…
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187. Christianity + Codependency | How THESE 5 Scriptures Get Twisted to Teach Us to Tolerate Toxicity
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28:23Unlearning codependent behaviors often means identifying how you learned them in the first place. And while often family of origin issues are a major factor, sometimes our religious contexts can also be part of the problem. Michelle discusses 5 Bible verses that are often misquoted and misapplied that teach us to tolerate toxic and abusive treatmen…
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Whether you're in an unhealthy relationship right now or you're worried about being in another one, it's not uncommon to wonder "Is this person toxic or are they abusive?" Michelle discusses the differences and similarities of toxic behavior and abusive behavior, and why we struggle to know the difference. More importantly, Michelle shares how toxi…
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185. Finding Faith When the Formulas Fail | Kristen LaValley
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35:52Many of us have times in our lives when we rely on formulas in our faith, clinging to the belief that, "If I do all the right things, everything will be okay." Yet, when we face a crisis we realize that those formulas don't hold up under the realities of suffering in this life. Kristen LaValley shares how suffering and doubt served to mold her fait…
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184. Is There More to Life Than This? | Encountering Extraordinary with Jeff Simmons
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31:30When we're in a challenging time of life, it can be hard to imagine that there's much more beyond all of this. Jeff Simmons shares how each of us can not only find life beyond our current circumstances but can live an extraordinary life, available to all of us in Jesus. He shares how the way the world defines extraordinary is different than the way…
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183. When You Don't Think You Can Trust God | Inside Inner Healing with Rhonda Velez
41:53
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41:53If you struggle to trust God, you're not alone. So often when you've experienced significant hurt and trauma, it's not uncommon to feel disconnected, distrustful, and maybe even fearful of God. Michelle discusses the value of inner healing prayer in healing this disconnect, and client Rhonda Velez shares her powerful encounter with Jesus during her…
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182. Why Not Forgiving Them Will Cost You
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29:35We all know we are supposed to give, but sometimes it seems like forgiving someone is letting them get away with what they did. Michelle discusses what forgiveness really is and discusses how forgiving someone doesn't require forgetting the truth about what they've done to you. She also gives insight into how forgiveness can help you transcend endl…
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181. Doubting Well: Questioning, Deconstruction, and the Search for Truth in Brokenness | Alisa Childers
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37:02While on a healing journey, it's normal to wrestle with doubt. But did you know that doubt is NOT the opposite of faith? That you can doubt well? Alisa Childers gives a deeper understanding of how doubt factors into the growth of faith and explains the differences between doubt vs. deconstruction. She also explains spiritual warfare as a battle of …
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180. Is It Codependency? A Shame-Free Guide to Understanding (& Avoiding) People-Pleasing
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32:33The word co-dependency is often used in ways that suggest a person is to blame for being mistreated and abused (which is NOT the case). Michelle discusses what co-dependency really is, and discusses why patterns of people-pleasing often result in relationships that are one-sided and unsafe. She shares what the Bible says about mutuality in our rela…
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179. Hit a Wall in Your Healing? You May Be Neglecting THIS.
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29:01You've done all you know to do to heal mentally and emotionally from trauma. Maybe you've been in therapy, you use deep-breathing techniques, or you try to be mindful of your thoughts. But when you hit a wall in your healing, you may wonder- "Is this as good as it's going to get?" While all of these approaches are beneficial to understanding and tr…
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Shame is that nagging little voice that continually tells you that you're not good enough, that you need to try harder to be loved. So how do we tell it to shut up? Michelle shares her journey of discovering hidden shame through the impact it was having on her relationships. She discusses how Jesus' example of facing down shame can help us live abo…
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It seems there's always something that will try to steal your hope, to get you to give up on the idea that things can ever be better. But does it have to be this way? Is there a way to take our hope back? It all starts with realizing hope is not a feeling but rather a perspective – a viewpoint that can help us set our sights above what our thoughts…
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176. Where is God in Your Wilderness? | Ashley Wilkerson
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35:49In dry times, the Bible has much encouragement for us- but we often miss much of it when we don't understand the Bible's Middle Eastern context. Ashley Wilkerson offers new insight into Psalm 23 and discusses how an awareness of Middle Eastern shepherding culture gives us a clearer view of God's heart for us in our personal wilderness seasons. She …
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