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Modern Masculinity

Hector Santiesteban

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"Modern Masculinity" is a podcast that explores the real-life challenges that men face today. Whether it's balancing work and family, figuring out how to be a good husband or father, or just trying to make sense of the world - this show is for guys looking for practical, down-to-earth advice and guidance. The podcast discusses the struggles and triumphs of modern manhood and features interviews with men (and women) who can share their methods and mindsets to maneuver the world as a modern man.
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Hector welcomes Dr. Michael Brabant, a transformational psychologist and founder of Candor & Coherence, to explore what it really means to evolve as a man in today’s world. From confronting inherited patterns of stoicism and shame to understanding the power of emotional multiplicity through Internal Family Systems (IFS), this conversation is a mast…
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Hector sits down with Zach Richards, co-founder of REI Capital Guys, to explore the quiet power of private lending and the deeper meaning of financial freedom. Zach breaks down how true freedom isn’t about flashy cars or massive portfolios—it’s about owning your time, minimizing stress, and building systems that let you live life on your terms. Fro…
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Hector sits down with certified men's coach Damon Mitchell for an unfiltered and enlightening conversation on meditation, masculinity, and the pursuit of wholeness. Damon shares how sobriety and meditation reshaped his identity and gave him the tools to engage more consciously in relationships — not just with others, but with himself. Together, the…
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Hector sits down with Shaun Emerson, Development Lead at MenLiving, to explore the raw, unfiltered truths about modern manhood. Together, they dig into the emotional weight men silently carry—loneliness, anxiety, and the societal pressure to “suck it up.” Shaun shares how his transition from tech executive to nonprofit leader reshaped his understan…
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Hector sits down with Dal Houston — attorney, rancher, motivational speaker, and self-proclaimed “eccentric cowboy” — to challenge the worn-out scripts of modern masculinity. Together, they unpack the deep emotional power of personal style, the importance of expressing your individuality (even if it means rocking British riding boots to a UFC fight…
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Todd Miechiels joins Hector Santiesteban to explore the transformational journey from defining manhood by titles and income to redefining it through faith, humility, and service. Todd shares his call from the business world into the mission field, revealing how surrendering traditional measures of success led to a life of deeper intimacy with God a…
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Hector sits down with award-winning podcaster and fellow storyteller Matt Gilhooly to explore the unraveling of Hector’s past relationship and the identity crisis that followed his greatest professional success. Together, they peel back the layers of ego, childhood conditioning, and the craving for external validation that many men silently carry. …
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Hector Santiesteban welcomes back Ed Frauenheim, co-author of Reinventing Masculinity and co-founder of The Teal Team, for a timely and timeless discussion on evolving manhood. Ed takes us deep into his current work challenging the "Tough Guy Show" culture—especially in traditionally masculine spaces like the ski industry—and sheds light on how tha…
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Hector is joined by Kevin Cronister—father of five, cybercrimes detective, and CEO of Guardian Training Solutions—to explore one of the most urgent and uncomfortable threats facing modern families: the growing epidemic of online child exploitation. Kevin pulls back the curtain on the grooming process, shares how predators infiltrate games like Robl…
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Fatherhood today comes with unique challenges—especially in a world dominated by screens, shifting gender roles, and the increasing struggles of young men. In this episode, Tom Bresnahan, a former Hollywood actor turned mentor and therapist, shares his journey from entertainment to empowering teenage boys. He discusses the impact of technology on y…
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Hector sits down with Jeff Hittner—executive coach, educator, and founder of Ambitious Dads—to unpack the evolving landscape of fatherhood and modern masculinity. From emotional regulation during your child’s tantrums to building a fatherhood philosophy that aligns with your values, Jeff explores the daily challenges and triumphs of being a present…
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In this episode, Hector has a great talk with his longtime friend and Modern Man Podcast host, Ted Phaeton, about the weight men carry—fatherhood, marriage, business, and the relentless pursuit of being that guy in every arena. Ted shares how he’s juggling the chaos of raising a newborn while running his podcast and coaching business, all while sta…
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Hector sits down with Will Knecht, a man who’s been in the trenches of fatherhood, marriage, and masculinity long enough to know that the work never really ends. They get into the realities of being a dad, a stepdad, and now a grandpa, all while navigating what it means to be a man in a world that’s constantly shifting the goalposts. Will opens up …
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Lawrence Dunning is back, and as always, he’s bringing the real. A top 1% real estate agent, investor, Jiu-Jitsu black belt, and host of Enter the Lionheart, he’s lived a life full of big wins and brutal lessons. This time, he opens up about business partnerships gone wrong, the stress of lawsuits, and the hard truths that come with getting older—l…
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Marshal Gillen, an award-winning speaker, speaker trainer, and men’s coach opens up about the wreckage and rebirth that followed his last breakup—140 days since his life fell apart, but who’s counting? He and Hector discuss the struggles men face in toxic relationships, the mind games of narcissistic abuse, and the brutal realization that maybe sel…
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Hector and Jake Isaacs, the co-founder of Gathering the Kings, have a real heart-to-heart about what it means to be a man these days. Jake opens up about figuring himself out, ditching old ideas about being a guy, and how a tough challenge changed how he sees his purpose, leading others, and relationships. They get real about the stuff guys don't t…
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Kristian Nylund shares his journey of overcoming the hardships of alcohol dependency, how to handle societal pressures, and redefining himself as an authentic and present father. He talks about the deep insecurities that shaped his choices, his battle to align with his true identity, and the freedom that came with sobriety. Tune in to hear about th…
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Hector welcomes Will Latif Little, keynote speaker, coach, author and film subject, for a conversation about acceptance, awareness, and intentional living. Will shares his journey from childhood trauma and street life to personal transformation and purpose-driven growth. He talks about pivotal moments, the weight of unprocessed pain, and how vulner…
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Hector sits down with filmmaker and storyteller Amarii Usher for a raw and honest conversation about the emotional tightrope men walk in today’s world. They talk about vulnerability, ego, healing, and struggles of masculinity in today’s world. From the impact of social media on relationships to the weight of independence and the complex patterns of…
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Hector sits down with Tom Bresnahan to explore the growing challenges of being a dad, the role of men in today’s society, and how shifting cultural norms impact boys and families. They discuss the influence of technology, addiction, and societal expectations on youth while talking about the decline of rites of passage and the misconceptions surroun…
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Hector has a powerful conversation with Jeffrey Williams, founder of Lifestyles of Light and Vitalist Institute, exploring the vital connection between breathwork, balance, and the pressures of modern life. Jeffrey shares how embracing both support and challenge can transform the way men approach their roles, relationships, and personal growth. The…
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Hector and Matthew Sloane, an author, coach, facilitator and an ally to all dads, explore the complexities of being a man in today’s world. They dive into the struggles of balancing sensitivity, anger, and the responsibilities of fatherhood, while unpacking the unspoken challenges many men face. They discuss the emotional impact of boundaries, soci…
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Nik opens up about his journey after exiting multiple businesses, confronting an identity crisis in the process. Together with Hector, they explore the shifting roles of men in a rapidly changing world, discussing the weight of societal expectations, the challenges of staying true to personal values, and the importance of building unshakable relati…
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Hector welcomes Brandon Peele to the show to talk about the evolving identity of masculinity in an uncertain world. They discuss challenges such as healing father wounds, navigating divorce, and facing economic realities, all while discovering deeper truths about what it means to live authentically as a man today. From questioning traditional gende…
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Hector sits down with therapist John Sendim to talk about the hardships men face in embracing therapy and dealing with emotions they’ve often been taught to ignore. They talk about why so many guys avoid therapy, what it takes to really process emotions like anger and sadness, and how therapy is more than just talking—it’s about building tools for …
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Hector sits down with Eric Fitzmedrud to have conversations about topics most guys avoid but need to have. Eric opens up about how he has navigated masculinity, sexuality, and relationships that break from the “traditional path.” They talk about everything from fatherhood and polyamory to the struggles men face around consent and personal identity.…
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Hector sits down with Adam Lyons to explore the tough realities of trust, betrayal, and the role violence plays in a man’s life. Adam opens up about being betrayed by people he once trusted, losing over $120K in the process, and questioning whether men today need to stand up and fight, both physically and metaphorically. Drawing from his own experi…
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Tony DiLorenzo joins Hector to talk about the challenges men face when it comes to intimacy, relationships, and personal growth. They talk about the impact of grief, stress, and shame on men’s emotional and sexual lives, sharing advice on how to work through these issues. Tony also explains the six pillars of intimacy and how understanding them can…
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Carl Lubbe discusses what it means to live as a man in today’s world, getting into the challenges of balancing work, family, and personal growth. He breaks down the myths surrounding masculinity, such as the pursuit of work-life balance, and points out the importance of presence, leadership, and authenticity. Carl also talks about how social media …
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Dr. Robert Glover, author of No More Mr. Nice Guy, shares how he overcame the "Nice Guy" syndrome and why so many men fall into the trap of people-pleasing and conflict avoidance. He dives into the deep emotional struggles men face, from setting boundaries to dealing with shame, and explains how societal influences have shaped modern masculinity. D…
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Alex Charfen opens up about his decision to walk away from a successful business, despite its financial success, to focus on personal alignment and deeper connection in his life. He shares the intense physical and emotional toll that running a business can take and discusses the importance of recognizing when it's time to shift priorities. Alex pus…
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Thomas Pfanner discusses the challenges and responsibilities of modern fatherhood, going into the importance of stepping up as leaders in our families. He shares his insights on balancing the role of a father with the pressures of societal expectations, particularly in the face of social media's growing influence on our children. Tune in to hear He…
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Chuck Chapman shares his transformative journey from a life shaped by societal expectations to one of authenticity and integrity. Facing a personal crisis, Chuck embarked on a path of self-discovery that led him to redefine masculinity and embrace a new set of values. He discusses the importance of courage, the process of unlearning inherited belie…
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Jeff Boyer breaks down the myth of traditional success and the impact it has on men today. He shares how he went from achieving external success to realizing it left him unfulfilled and searching for deeper meaning. Jeff explains the pressures men face in trying to meet societal expectations, often at the expense of their true selves. His insights …
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William Branum, a former Navy SEAL, joins us to explore the intricacies of modern masculinity. He shares his journey of embracing vulnerability, the strength in asking for help, and the critical importance of self-reflection through after action reviews. William discusses the balance between toughness and empathy, revealing how removing the metapho…
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Tiziano Sguerso joins Hector for a conversation on the impact of family narratives and generational trauma on our lives. Tiziano shares his journey from being a professional kickboxer to becoming a family constellation therapist, and the insights he's gained about love, relationships, and the essential roles of men and women in the family. They als…
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Jasper Brown explores the concept of conscious sexuality, offering a fresh perspective on achieving deeper intimacy and pleasure. Jasper discusses the limitations of traditional methods and introduces his integrative approach, The Legendary Lover program, which combines education, mindfulness, and conscious practices. With insights into full-body p…
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John and Norman D'Agostini are sitting down with Hector to discuss fatherhood across generations. They talk about the importance of physical and emotional connection, and the challenges of raising children in today's world. Norman shares his experiences of overcoming a traumatic upbringing and the lessons he learned about being a loving and dedicat…
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In this episode, Hector and Kent Frazier discuss the challenges and rewards of single fatherhood. Kent shares his personal journey of balancing responsibilities as a solo dad, entrepreneur, and community member. They talk about the importance of creating healthy rhythms, managing intense emotions, and redefining traditional roles in modern parentin…
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Fitness trainer Steve Lutsk joins Hector to talk about the ongoing challenges and misconceptions surrounding fitness and modern masculinity. They discuss the struggle against complacency and the mental battles that accompany physical fitness. They go into the psychological benefits of maintaining a rigorous fitness regime, explaining how it goes wa…
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Greg Wasserman talks about how societal expectations and traditional gender roles shape men's dating experiences and explore the importance of vulnerability and emotional healing. Greg also touches on the unique challenges men face when dating without a car in L.A. He shares his perspective on the often-unspoken pressures men deal with in modern re…
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Matt Beaudreau is here to talk about sovereignty and its impact on family, education, and personal freedom. Matt explains his mission to help families take full control of their lives. He shares his experience as an educator and leader, discussing the flaws of traditional schooling and the need for critical thinking. Matt also talks about practical…
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Matt LeBris joins Hector to discuss the importance of authenticity and consistency in achieving both personal and professional success. Throughout this conversation about his own experiences, Matt talks about facing life's challenges, the process of emotional healing, and the significance of community in personal growth. He introduces various heali…
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This episode is an exploration of the multifaceted challenges men face in striving for the ‘exceptional life.’ Joined by serial entrepreneur, leader, facilitator and speaker Chaz Wolfe, they explore the delicate balance between professional ambition and personal fulfillment. From the trenches of fatherhood to the pursuit of business excellence, the…
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Coach Raph helps men lead a life in a way that a woman naturally wants to follow. He provides a safe place for men.In today’s episode, Coach Raph and Hector discuss the pressures of male stoicism and the liberation found in vulnerability. This powerful conversation not only questions the pillars of traditional manhood but also offers you a new visi…
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This episode features Reggie Marra. He is an educator, coach, workshop facilitator, poet and author. Reggie discusses the unspoken rules and myths that have traditionally defined manhood and the personal and societal challenges that men face today. He shares insights from his latest book, offering perspectives on how men can redefine their identiti…
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John Authier, a longtime friend of Hector’s and fitness coach, discusses the intricate dance of navigating life's challenges, from the trials of fatherhood in today's digital age to the pressures of maintaining physical and mental wellness. John shares his personal journey, shedding light on the realities behind the social media gloss of parenting,…
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Keith Edwards’ life journey embodies the essence of adaptability and resilience. Once set on a path vastly different from where he stands today, Keith has embraced the unexpected turns, transforming his narrative into one of profound self-discovery and evolution. As a newly published children's author, his story extends beyond the pages of his book…
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Today’s conversation with Markham Rollins encapsulates a profound journey of transformation and growth, touching on retirement redefined, personal development, and the essence of modern masculinity. Markham shares his transition from a successful career in insurance to finding purpose and passion in his later years, highlighting the importance of s…
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This episode is from your host, Hector Santiestaban’s appearance on "The Vulnerable Man" podcast. Hector opens up about the intricacies of modern masculinity, the struggles of fatherhood, and the transformative power of vulnerability. This episode will take you on a ride through Hector's experiences—from facing personal trials and embracing vulnera…
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