What happens when the chaos of abuse finally ends, and you're faced with the possibility of new love? For many survivors, this terrain feels more frightening than familiar.
Dating after domestic violence isn't just about meeting someone new—it's about rewiring your entire understanding of what relationships should feel like. When you've spent years walking on eggshells, genuine kindness can feel suspicious. When you've learned to anticipate mood swings, a stable partner might seem boring. When you've been conditioned to perform gratitude, authentic appreciation feels foreign.
In this enlightening conversation with life coach and podcaster Kimberly Mathis, we unpack the complex reality of finding love after trauma. Rather than offering simplistic advice, we dive into the nuanced challenges: How do you distinguish between legitimate red flags and your own trauma responses? When should you disclose your abuse history? How do you recognize love bombing versus genuine interest?
Kimberly brings both professional expertise and refreshing candor to these questions. "You can't say the wrong thing to the right person," she notes, offering a powerful litmus test for potential partners. The way someone responds to your boundaries, concerns, and authentic self reveals far more than any dating profile ever could.
We explore practical strategies for navigating new relationships, from creating code words with partners to identify when old patterns arise, to recognizing that compatibility matters more than intense feelings. After all, as Kimberly wisely observes, "We can love people who are terrible for us."
Whether you're actively dating, considering returning to the dating world, or simply working to understand healthy relationship dynamics, this episode offers both validation and practical guidance. The journey toward healthy love starts with choosing yourself first—and understanding that you're never "too much" for the right person.
Ready to transform your approach to relationships after abuse? Listen now, and discover how to open your heart again without abandoning your boundaries.

Kimberly's Links:

https://www.1in3podcast.com/guests/kimberly-mathis/

https://www.kimberlymathis.com/

https://open.spotify.com/show/5HZ9s0n0rfoje9MeOn39TI?si=d32f3d84e6f44b61&nd=1&dlsi=4e881e36108a4e67

https://www.instagram.com/thekimberlymathis/

https://www.facebook.com/thekimberlymathis

1 in 3 is intended for mature audiences. Episodes contain explicit content and may be triggering to some.

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If you are in the United States and need help right now, call the national domestic violence hotline at 800-799-7233 or text the word “start” to 88788.
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Thank you for listening!
Cover art by Laura Swift Dahlke
Music by Tim Crowe