💸 We Can’t Afford to Cry Anymore (It’s Dehydrating)
Welcome to late-stage capitalism, where avocados cost $3.29 and therapy is $180/hour—if you’re lucky. With Carissa recovering from sticker shock in the egg aisle, Shaun and Peter spiral into the absolute absurdity of trying to exist in a world where rent is a joke, healthcare is a scam, and your favorite cereal is now a luxury item.

From $28 pizzas to suspiciously small bags of chips, nothing is sacred in this week's unpacking of inflation, shrinkflation, and just how many apps are secretly trying to charge you for “inner peace.” We’re talking class rage, racial profiling at checkout, girl math, bro math, gay math, and why the only thing shrinking faster than our bank accounts is the number of chicken bites at Domino’s.

This one’s for the tired, broke, and delusionally hopeful. If you’ve ever screamed internally at a grocery store or considered bartering your soul for decent internet speeds, this one’s for you.

🔪 May your budget survive the week, and your iced coffee be strong enough to fight capitalism.