Manage episode 522273538 series 2978961
Have you ever walked away from a fight with your spouse thinking, What on earth was that?
Like something inside of you snapped, or a version of yourself came out that you don’t recognize… or honestly, don’t like very much?
Most people feel embarrassed telling me about these moments.
They rush to soften it, to justify it, to say, “It’s not as bad as it sounds.”
But I want you to hear this clearly:
Those moments don’t mean your marriage is broken.
They don’t mean you are broken.
They mean something tender inside of you got touched.
This week on the podcast, I’m talking about Ugly Fighting in Marriage — why it happens, what it reveals, and how you can start turning those painful moments into connection instead of destruction.
I walk through three core reasons these big reactions show up:
1. Your nervous system gets hijacked.
Your body goes into protection mode long before your mind can catch up.
(This is especially true if there’s been emotional betrayal or lingering distrust.)
2. Old stories get activated.
A quiet or avoidant spouse can feel like rejection if you grew up unseen or unheard.
3. Shame sneaks in.
When we already feel “not enough,” even a small misunderstanding can feel like an attack.
And then… I talk about the healing part.
The part most couples never get to.
The part that builds deeper intimacy than you’ve ever had before.
Because when you can slow everything down, look beneath the reaction, and move toward repair with gentleness — everything changes.
If this resonates, I’d love for you to take a quiet moment and listen to this week’s episode.
It just might help you make sense of something you’ve been carrying alone.
And if you’re walking through a season where you’re hurting, confused, or stuck in cycles you don’t want… this is exactly what I help people with.
You’re invited to schedule a Courageous Love Conversation — a one-hour, heart-level session where we explore what’s happening beneath the surface and what your next steps forward could be.
Sometimes that one conversation is enough to open a whole new horizon for your marriage.
If today’s message lands with yo
CBS News Interview: 6 Tips For A Healthy & Loving Relationship
Unlock deeper connection in your marriage with my free guide, Daily Prompts for Deeper Connection with Your Spouse—get it now!
Start feeling more connected and loved in your marriage today with my free Reclaim More Love in Just 3 Days process. This process will have you learning how to shift your focus, in a healthy way, and nurture thoughts that build connection and transform how you feel about your marriage.
More resources and how you can start the process of Awakening(YourTrue)You and being the partner who creates your best version of what marriage looks like for you: https://christinebongiovanni.com/
Join my AwakenYou newsletter for weekly marriage tips and early announcements of upcoming offerings.
Book your free Courageous Love Conversation here.
Instagram
Fac...
244 episodes