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Complementarians use a lot of really nice-sounding words to describe their beliefs about gender roles, but when you actually break down what they mean, they're not talking about roles at all—they're talking about hierarchy. In this episode, Keith and I decode all the euphemisms like "different roles," "servant leadership," and "his headship is for your protection" to show what complementarians are really saying: that men should be in authority over women. The problem is, when you actually implement these beliefs in marriage, we see relationships struggle—and the statistics bear that out. And we work directly against the gospel, putting the husband in the place of Jesus.
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LINKS MENTIONED:
- "The Marriage You Want" book on Amazon, or get the curriculum and video series from Baker Books
- "The Bible vs. Biblical Womanhood" by Philip Payne
- "How God Sees Women" by Terran Williams
- Rebecca Groothuis essay on "Equal in Being, Unequal in Function"
- Previous podcast episode on John Piper's "harsh husband" advice
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- The Great Sex Rescue
- She Deserves Better
- The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide
- The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
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Chapters
1. Intro to Complementarianism & what we'll address (00:00:00)
2. "Equal Value, Different Roles" - Why This Makes No Sense (00:03:39)
3. What do Complementarians Really Think About Gender Differences? (00:16:16)
4. Matt Chandler's False Spectrum Between Patriarchy and Egalitarianism (00:27:21)
5. "Servant Leadership" - Which Word Matters More? (00:30:51)
6. What Does Submission Actually Mean in Practice? (00:37:15)
7. The "Burden" of Making Final Decisions (00:44:41)
8. Is Marriage Really a Picture of Christ and the Church? (00:51:01)
9. "His Headship is for Your Protection" - Really? (00:54:55)
10. The Two-Headed Monster Myth & Closing Thoughts (01:02:01)
322 episodes
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