In this episode of Behind Beliefs, Behaviors and the Brain, I sit down with Dr. Conor Hughes, human catalyst, NLP master practitioner, and expert in using questions to unlock growth. We explore the powerful role questions play in shaping our thoughts, behaviors, and communication. Dr. Conor breaks down the neuroscience behind how our brains process questions and the hidden assumptions we carry. We discuss how asking the right questions can create meaningful change and how certain questions can unintentionally risk retraumatization.

Key Takeaways:

The Art and Science of Asking Better Questions - Asking questions is something we all do every day. We ask about the time, what’s for dinner, or where something is. But asking better questions is both an art and a science. It’s about learning how to ask in a way that makes people think deeply, find answers, and grow.

How Questions Paint Pictures in the Mind - Every time we ask a question, we help the other person imagine something in their mind. It’s like painting a picture that shows what we’re talking about.

Every Question Carries Hidden Meaning – Every time we ask a question, there’s an idea behind it. When someone asks, “How sad do you feel?” the brain starts to remember times of sadness. This can help bring understanding, but it can also reopen painful memories. That’s why asking questions with care matters, it shapes how people think and feel.

The Power of “What” and “How” Questions – The words we use in questions shape how people think. What and how questions open the mind, while yes-or-no questions close it. Instead of asking, “Have you ever felt confident?” ask, “What makes you feel confident?” This helps the brain focus on strength and solutions.

The Power of “How” and “Why” Questions – “How” and “why” are the strongest questions we can ask. Why takes us to the past to understand reasons, while how moves us toward the future to find solutions.

When the Body Answers Before Words Do - In therapy, real change often shows before words. A person’s face, posture, or eyes shift when a question reaches something deep. The real answer is not always found in words. It often shows up in the body. That is why great therapists do more than listen. They watch how a person responds because the body and the brain work together to reveal truth beyond language.

Helpful Resources:

• Asking Questions That Grow Leaders - Good questions do more than find answers; they help people think deeply and become stronger leaders. When leaders ask the right questions, they guide others to discover their own solutions instead of simply following directions. This builds confidence and develops leadership skills.
• The Power of Curiosity in Mentorship - In mentorship, questions are just as important. A good mentor does not hand out lessons but helps mentees uncover what they truly need to learn. By asking thoughtful questions, both the mentor and mentee grow. Real learning begins when curiosity leads the way to understanding.

About the Guest

Dr. Conor Hughes is a partner at CR Squared, a pioneer in designing hybrid learning systems for business and professional development. With extensive experience in NLP, she equips trainers to create world-class, engaging programs that combine online and in-person learning. Her approach leverages cutting-edge technology, interactive content, and real-time progress tracking to help NLP practitioners expand their reach, enhance their impact, and compete with the best globally.

Follow Dr. Conor on Social media

Website: https://www.crsquared.co.za/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drconorhughes/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/conor.hughes.16/

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Hosted by: Dr. Maiysha Clairborne

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