In this episode of Behind Beliefs, Behaviors and the Brain, I explore reality strategies, mental models, and how they shape the way we communicate, connect, and understand one another. We break down how our brains construct reality from past experiences, values, culture, and environment, and how this affects our daily interactions. I share practical tools to listen across different realities, clarify understanding, and keep conversations open, whether in leadership, family, or community settings.

Key Takeaways:

Reality Strategies Shape Everything – Every person sees the world through a unique lens, called a reality strategy or mental model. Understanding that each person’s reality is different helps us approach conversations without judgment and allows us to better connect with others, even when their perspective is different from our own.

Listening That Bridges Perspectives – Listening is more than just hearing words; it is about trying to understand the other person’s world. Staying curious and genuinely open during conversations allows us to bridge gaps between different perspectives. This kind of listening creates space for connection, reduces misunderstandings, and helps relationships grow stronger.

Clarifying Understanding – Communication is a mix of words, tone, and body language. Sometimes what we say is not exactly what the other person hears. Clarifying understanding ensures that both people are on the same page and prevents confusion, frustration, and unnecessary conflict.

Speak in Pictures: The Power of Metaphors – Sometimes words alone are not enough to explain what we mean. Using examples, stories, or metaphors can help the other person picture what we are trying to say. Metaphors and examples help bridge the gap between different mental models, making it easier for people to understand and connect.

Protecting Yourself While Connecting – Not every situation or person requires deep communication across reality strategies. It is important to protect your own emotional space and recognize your triggers, while still being open where connection matters.

Helpful Resources:

• Avoid Ranking Realities as More or Less Valid – When engaging with others, recognize their reality as simply different, not inferior. Listening without judgment allows for clearer understanding and reduces conflict caused by comparing perspectives.

• Practical Tools for Meaningful Connection – Intentional communication can transform relationships at work, at home, and in the community. By listening carefully, asking clarifying questions, using metaphors, and observing responses, we can create trust and understanding.

• Developing curiosity and Active observation Enhances Communication – Observing how others respond, paying attention to body language, and asking clarifying questions encourages curiosity and helps you understand their reality. This keeps conversations open and prevents misunderstandings.

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Hosted by: Dr. Maiysha Clairborne

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