In this episode of Believe in People: Addiction, Recovery & Stigma, Patti reflects on a lifetime shaped by silence, trauma, and survival. Growing up in a dysfunctional home in 1970s San Francisco - marked by alcoholism, emotional neglect, and parents who barely spoke - she began using alcohol and drugs at just 13 to escape overwhelming pain. By 16 she had lost her mother to alcoholism, a loss that profoundly shaped her understanding of addiction, identity, and generational trauma.

Patti shares candidly about early experiences with hallucinogens during the counterculture era, the years she spent bartending in Alaska amid heavy cocaine use, and the moment she chose life over self-destruction. She describes the powerful impact of her first women-only 12-step meeting, the birth of long-term sobriety, and the choice to get clean before having children so she would never repeat the patterns she grew up with.

After nearly 13 years in recovery, Patti later faced relapse - driven by disconnection, loss of community, motherhood identity shifts, and the seductive “yummy mummy” drinking culture. She unpacks how secrecy, co-dependency, and convincing self-talk sustained her relapse, and the moments that finally brought clarity: writing her first book while still drinking, confronting her own hypocrisy, and acknowledging that recovery requires honesty, therapy, and belonging - not just abstinence.

Together, Patti and Matt explore the deeper roots of addiction: trauma, loneliness, the search for meaning, and the societal and gendered pressures that shape women’s drinking. Patti critiques patriarchal elements of traditional 12-step structures, highlights the importance of women-centred spaces, and explains why she has gone on to start recovery groups in New Zealand, Portugal, and beyond.

This is a rich and layered conversation about breaking generational cycles, redefining identity in motherhood, and building a recovery community grounded in compassion, inclusion, and truth.

In this episode:

• Growing up in silence, emotional neglect and an alcoholic home
• Early use of alcohol, speed and acid from age 13
• Hallucinogens in 1970s San Francisco drug culture
• Losing her mother to alcoholism at 16
• Bartending in Alaska, cocaine use, and the “f

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🎵 Music: “Jonathan Tortoise” by Christopher Tait (Belle Ghoul / Electric Six)

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