In this episode, Dr. Brenda Murrow explores the powerful role of calming signals—those subtle, nonverbal cues used to manage social dynamics, reduce conflict, and build connection. Building on past episodes on appeasement behaviors in dogs and humans, this conversation turns to horses—drawing on the work of two influential authors: Turid Rugaas (dogs) and her mentee, Rachaël Draaisma (horses) who have both published books on calming signals, also known as appeasement behaviors.

Brenda shares takeaways from a hands-on class with Dr. Draaisma, where she learned that horses use a wide range of calming signals—like looking away, blinking, chewing, or curving their walking patterns—to create space or maintain harmony in interactions.

But this episode isn’t just about horses. It’s about how easily we, as humans—and especially therapists—unintentionally send nonverbal messages we don’t mean. Brenda shares a personal moment in class when her body language contradicted her intent—toward both a horse and a human partner—and what that revealed about how her own unconscious patterns of somatic movement needs to be further understood.

Brenda reflects on her discomfort with experiential learning and how participating in it revealed surprising insights about her own communication. She offers encouragement to those who might also feel more at ease with books and theory, reminding listeners that awareness begins by noticing what we’re actually doing in real time.

There’s value in simply noticing the signals we give off—especially the ones we’re not aware of. These small moments of awareness can shape stronger connections with both clients and animals.

References:

*Brenda Murrow, (2013) A Quantitative exploration into the effects of the human and animal connection. (Doctoral dissertation). Pacifica Graduate Institute.

*also mentioned in podcast episodes 2, 3, and 4.

Jaak Panksepp & Lucy Biven. (2012). The Archaeology of Mind: Neuroevolutionary Origins of Human Emotions (Norton Series on Interpersonal Neurobiology) 1st Edition. W. W. Norton & Company.

Rachaël Draaisma, https://calmingsignalsofhorses.com/en/

Language ​​Signs & Calming Signals of Horses (2017), CRC Press

Turid Rugaas, http://en.turid-rugaas.no/

Lone Guardian, LLC, https://www.theloneguardian.org/

Gurman, A. S., & Messer, S. B. (Eds.). (2003). Essential psychotherapies: Theory and

practice. New York: The Guilford Press.