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In this week's podcast we look at pre-holiday behavior spikes through a problem-solving lens. Instead of “How do we punish this?” we ask, “What skill is missing?” She models restorative conversations, shares reflection tools that build self-awareness, and walks through calm-down strategies that help students regulate before you problem-solve.
Key takeaways
- Behavior = communication. Shift from “what’s wrong with the student?” to “what’s happening for the student?”
- Use restorative approaches: understand harm, take responsibility, repair relationships, restore trust.
- Reflection > reaction: guided behavior reflection sheets connect thoughts, feelings, needs, and next steps.
- Regulation first: you can’t consequence a child into calm; teach calming tools, then problem-solve.
- Mindset shift: connection before correction; growth over guilt.
Try-it-now tools
Restorative questions:
- What happened? • What were you thinking/feeling? • Who was affected & how? • What makes it right? • What will you do next time?
Behavior Reflection prompts:
- Trigger • Feeling • Need • Better choice next time • Who to repair with & how (what a real apology looks/sounds like).
Calm-down strategies:
- Square/5-finger breathing, grounding (5–4–3–2–1), movement/water break, sensory tools (rings, stress balls), feelings check-ins/thermometers.
Scenario highlight
- “Jayden in the line”: Instead of office + lecture, Carol uses a brief restorative chat/circle + reflection sheet to move from guilt to growth and repair.
Counselor moves to start this week
- Model restorative conversations (skip “Why did you do that?”).
- Teach emotion language (feeling wheels, visuals, daily check-ins).
- Build a Behavior Reflection Toolkit for you and teachers.
Quote to remember
“Punishment might stop the behavior, but it doesn’t heal what’s underneath. Problem-solving does.”
Connect
- Follow Carol on IG: @counselingessentials
- Share what’s in your calm-down kit and tag the show!
Think Sheets
Grab the Show Notes: Counselingessentials.org/podcast
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Connect with Carol:
- TpT Store
- Counseling Essentials Website
- Elementary School Counselor Exchange Facebook Group
- Caught In The Middle School Counselors Facebook Group
- High School Counselor Connection Facebook Group
Mentioned in this episode:
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