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Episode 49: Self Sabotage – When Your Dreams Come True
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Creative WorkHour Podcast
Episode 49 — April 19, 2025
Todays Crew:
- Greg
- Alessandra
- Ellie
- Dr. Melonie
- Devin
- Shadows Pub
- Gretchen
- Bobbie W
- Andy
Show Notes
Discussion Topic:
When your dreams appear to be coming true, how do you avoid self-sabotage?
Episode Summary
In this heartfelt episode, the Creative WorkHour crew dives into the very real struggle of self-sabotage when success is finally within reach. Host Greg kicks things off with a big question: When everything seems to be going your way, how do you not get in your own way?
Alessandra shares her deeply personal journey of returning to music after decades away, and the complex emotions that come with dreams coming true. The crew offers practical wisdom, personal stories, and new ways to reframe old habits.
Key Takeaways
- Trauma and Success: Alessandra opens up about how past trauma can make joy feel foreign, leading to a reflex of fear or tears rather than celebration.
- Familiarity vs. Newness: Ellie and Dr. Melonie discuss how our brains seek out what’s familiar—even if it’s struggle—and how practicing the “new” can help make success feel safe.
- Small Steps: Devin and Bobbie W recommend focusing on one improvement at a time and breaking big changes into manageable steps.
- Presence and Enjoyment: Andy encourages everyone to fully experience the moment and remember their worth.
- Cautious Optimism: Shadows Pub suggests not “counting chickens before they hatch,” allowing good things to unfold without pressure.
- Saying Yes: Gretchen advocates for practicing saying “yes” to yourself, as you would to a child, and giving yourself permission to enjoy your achievements.
- Balancing Yes/No: Greg points out that sometimes it’s about choosing when to say yes and when to pause, finding balance as you move forward.
- Accountability: Alessandra shares her own call to action: playing a new piece in front of peers in France—choosing courage over comfort.
Notable Quotes
Greg
Greg frames the episode’s big question:
“Everything seems to be going your way. You’re winning. You’re living the dream. But how do you avoid sabotaging that?”
He shares his own struggles with second-guessing and the challenge of accepting good things happening for oneself:
“I can do things when it’s for other people. But when it’s for me, I struggle with it. … Why not me?”
Alessandra
Shares her experience of success feeling unfamiliar, especially after trauma:
“When something really incredible happens, I don’t jump up and down and go, yay. I kind of go, oh God, now what’s going to happen?”
She opens up about her recent musical achievements and the discomfort they bring:
“My dream is coming true, and all I want to do is burn it down because it doesn’t feel safe.”
Ellie
Brings a neurobiological perspective on why we sabotage success:
“We are deeply wired for familiarity. … Our impulse to go back to familiarity is actually an impulse towards stability, and we need stability.”
She reframes processing old emotions as necessary rather than self-sabotage:
“Often as things get better, we have a backlog of stuff to process. So sometimes that stuff that’s coming up isn’t self-sabotage, it’s stuff that’s coming up and getting released.”
Dr. Melonie
Ties in the brain’s instinct for the familiar and touches on her personal coping mechanisms:
“If things going badly is what’s familiar, your limbic brain wants to return things to what’s familiar.”
She candidly shares:
“One of the things I found I do … is be the good girl or confess. … That should be processed as opposed to a way of dealing with things.”
Devin
Suggests focusing on tangible improvements rather than broad expectations:
“I try not to make it a big picture, oh, everything’s going to be great. Instead, I try and focus on one thing that will improve … once this dream comes true.”
Shadows Pub
Offers a grounded approach to hope and expectation:
“I tend to not count chickens before they hatch. So when something looks like it’s going in my direction, I kind of go, that’s nice. Let’s see what happens.”
Gretchen
Encourages the power of saying “yes”—especially to your inner child:
“You have to practice saying yes a lot more than you say no. … When you’re saying yes, think of saying yes to your child self.”
Bobbie W
Emphasizes focus and incremental progress:
“I tend to be very focused and then take things in steps. … It’s work to stay so focused.”
Andy
Shares the importance of living in the moment and valuing personal worth:
“If something good happens, yeah, well, just hang on to it. Being in that moment. … Time stood still when we practiced. … Live the moment. You’re worth it.”
Call to Action
What about you? When your dreams start coming true, how do you stay out of your own way?
Let us know at creativeworkhour.com. If you have a question you want the team to discuss on air, send it in!
Thank you for listening!
Come back next week for more honest conversations about creativity, courage, and doing your best work.
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