Understanding Relational Aggression, Helping Kids Navigate Social Dynamics with Dr. Noelle Santorelli

Robyn talks with psychologist Dr. Noelle Santorelli about relational aggression, childhood social dynamics, and how parents can support kids through friendship challenges.

In this episode, therapist and mom Robyn Isman sits down with psychologist Dr. Noelle Santorelli to explore the complex and often quiet ways relational aggression shows up in children’s friendships and family interactions. Dr. Santorelli explains how behaviors like exclusion, subtle put-downs, and shifting alliances can have a significant emotional impact on kids, even when the signs are not immediately obvious.

Robyn and Dr. Santorelli discuss the importance of teaching children empathy, boundaries, and conflict resolution from an early age. They emphasize how parents can help by scaffolding social experiences rather than rushing to fix or curate every challenge. Their conversation highlights why understanding social capital—the influence and status kids hold among peers—matters when interpreting behaviors and guiding children through conflict.

Throughout the episode, Dr. Santorelli encourages parents to balance support with autonomy. She reminds listeners that children develop confidence when parents stay grounded, avoid overreacting, and model healthy communication.

By the end of this conversation, parents will feel more equipped to recognize relational aggression, respond calmly, and help children build the skills they need to navigate real-life friendships with empathy and resilience.

Shared Resources:

• Dr. Noelle Santorelli website
• Dr. Santorelli’s e-guide Mean Girl Mom Survival Guide: Scripts, Red Flags, and Boundaries to Protect your Peace
• Follow Dr. Low on Instagram @drnoellesantorelli
• Follow Robyn on Instagram @parentingtheanxiouschild
• Parenting the Anxious Child Membership
• Sign up for Robyn’s Newsletter and find additional resources