#1273 - Do We Give In? What to Do When the Kids Push Too Hard

Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

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13d ago 15:06

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When the kids are relentless, defiant, or just downright exhausting, do you give in? Do you clamp down? Or is there a better way? In this episode of the Happy Families Podcast, Justin and Kylie Coulson unpack the three most common parenting responses to challenging behaviour — and make the case for a third, more effective path. You'll laugh, reflect, and come away with a powerful tool to help you parent with confidence, clarity, and calm.

KEY POINTS:

The 3 common parenting responses to tough behaviour:

Giving In (Permissiveness) – short-term peace, long-term chaos.
The “Hell No” (Authoritarian) – may bring instant compliance but can damage connection and growth.
Working With (Collaborative Discipline) – more effort upfront, but creates better long-term outcomes.

Why permissiveness backfires: it invites boundary-testing and weakens trust and safety.
How harsh, top-down discipline can rupture relationships and discourage self-regulation.
Introducing the 3 E’s of Effective Discipline:

Explore your child’s perspective.
Explain your concerns.
Empower your child to problem-solve with you.

Real-life example: how Justin and Kylie worked with their daughter around a tricky social situation.

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE
“Fast is slow and slow is fast. When you take the time to work with your kids, you build trust, wisdom, and lasting outcomes.” — Dr Justin Coulson

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

The Parenting Revolution – by Dr Justin Coulson

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS:

Pause before you react. Ask: am I about to give in, come down hard, or work with?
Use the 3 E’s next time your child makes a tough request or shows challenging behaviour.
Revisit tricky issues over time — not every decision has to be made in the moment.
Stay unified with your co-parent if possible — consistency and teamwork matter.

Remember: boundaries show love. They help kids feel secure, even when they push against them.

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1330 episodes

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