Have you ever noticed how quickly small misunderstandings can spiral into full-blown conflicts? One simple comment can turn into a wall between you and your spouse if you let offense take over. But spiritual maturity calls us to a different path—one that chooses curiosity, compassion, and connection over pride and defensiveness.

In this episode, we’re unpacking a powerful truth that can change the way you navigate disagreements in your marriage:

“You can’t be curious and offended at the same time.”

Spiritually mature couples learn to pause, seek understanding, and invite God into their marriage instead of letting emotions rule the moment. When offense leads, division grows—but when curiosity leads, your marriage becomes a place of safety, grace, and deeper intimacy.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode

1. How Spiritual Immaturity Shows Up in Marriage

• Getting defensive when criticized
• Withdrawing instead of leaning in
• Avoiding confession and repentance
• Making self-centered decisions over Christ-centered ones

2. Signs of Spiritual Maturity

• Being quick to listen and slow to anger (James 1:19)
• Seeking understanding before responding
• Choosing forgiveness over grudges
• Inviting God into conflict and relying on His wisdom

3. “I’ve Just Touched a Wound, But I Did Not Cause It”

We’ll discuss why your spouse’s strong reactions may be tied to old wounds—and why you don’t need to deflect, defend, people-please, or withdraw. Instead, you can stay present and curious to create emotional safety.

4. How Curiosity Builds Connection

• Asking thoughtful questions instead of assuming
• Creating emotional safety and trust
• Discovering what’s really happening beneath the surface

Resources & Next Steps

• 📄 Download the free Spiritual Maturity in Marriage Assessment to practice curiosity in your marriage. Includes curiosity question prompts. https://expeditionmarriage.org/podcast/ep-156-curiosity-over-offense-how-staying-spiritually-mature-can-transform-your-marriage
• Episode 140 When the Past Shows up Uninvited in Your Marriage https://expeditionmarriage.org/podcast/ep-140-when-the-past-shows-up-uninvited-understanding-implicit-memory-in-marriage/
• 💬 If you need help navigating conflict and rebuilding connection, visit ExpeditionMarriage.org/marriage to learn about our Christ-centered counseling and coaching.