Are you caught in a loop of overthinking, over-planning, or playing it too safe? In this episode, Megan sits down with acclaimed psychologist, author, and TEDx speaker Dr. Patricia Zurita Ona (Dr. Z) to explore how high achievers can break free from anxiety, over-analysis, and the relentless pursuit of perfection.

This conversation is a must-listen if you're ready to untangle old patterns, create more ease, clarity, and alignment in your life, and finally trust yourself to navigate uncertainty.

Quick Note: This episode is part of an unintentional mini-series! If this topic resonates, be sure to check out Episode 317: Unlearning Overworking (solo episode on why rest feels uncomfortable for high achievers) and Episode 318: The Real Reason You’re Questioning Everything (with guest Laura Gassner Otting, on identity shifts and trusting intuition). Each offers a unique perspective on burnout, identity, and self-trust.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
✅ How anxiety and fear-based responses shrink our lives – and how to expand beyond them
✅ The surprising truth about perfectionism in high achievers (it's not just about academics!)
✅ Why "just drop your standards" is an alienating message for people who deeply care
✅ The subtle yet crucial difference between "doing your best" and "doing good enough"
✅ Why your inner critic is paradoxically trying to protect you – and how to respond to it
✅ The unhelpful cycle of responding to thinking with more thinking (and how to break it!)
✅ Common psychological traps that keep us stuck in chronic indecision
✅ The power of making "workable" choices instead of chasing "perfect" ones
✅ Why self-trust doesn't mean the absence of self-doubt, but the willingness to act with it
✅ The deepest fear for high achievers (and how to identify what's truly driving your actions)
✅ How to tap into your innate wisdom amidst the noise of constant doing and hustling

About Dr. Patricia Zurita Ona (Dr. Z):

Website: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr.z.passionatebehaviorist/

Episode Timestamps:

• 00:03:50 – Dr. Z's personal journey with anxiety and the pivotal panic attack
• 00:05:00 – How anxiety shrinks our lives and stops us from living authentically
• 00:06:10 – Megan's experience as a professional worrier turned wedding planner
• 00:08:36 – The hidden perfectionism of high achievers and why they can't "do mediocre work"
• 00:10:49 – Why "dropping your standards" creates resistance and an alienated message
• 00:12:07 – Dr. Z's story of being told to "stop working so hard" and its impact
• 00:13:22 – Navigating generational shifts: "Practice makes perfect" vs. "Practice makes progress"
• 00:14:57 – The radical acceptance of being an overachiever and learning to discriminate
• 00:17:37 – Preparing for the guilt and remorse that comes with "good enough"
• 00:18:11 – Distinguishing what's "good enough" in different life buckets (business, motherhood)
• 00:19:31 – The role of self-compassion and humility in making tough choices
• 00:23:15 – The value of pausing and processing (watching your mind)
• 00:24:34 – Responding to yourself with gentleness and kindness when guilt arrives
• 00:25:11 – The never-ending background noise of the inner critic
• 00:26:24 – Understanding the inner critic's purpose: It's trying to protect you
• 00:29:49 – Why you can't win a "mind chess game" with your inner critic
• 00:31:17 – Making decisions from values vs. fear (avoiding or gaining something)
• 00:32:28 – Navigating big life decisions without spiraling into overwhelm
• 00:33:53 – Why humans hate uncertainty and how it impacts decision-making
• 00:35:43 – The Buddhist parable of the monkey and the lotus (attachment to "how things are supposed to be")
• 00:37:03 – Thinking biases: black and white thinking, hypervigilance, fear of regret
• 00:37:55 – Our ability to adapt: every decision is a bet on the future
• 00:38:26 – Maximizers vs. Satisficers: Understanding your decision style
• 00:41:01 – Giving ourselves permission to make a workable, not perfect, choice
• 00:41:51 – The crucial role of self-trust in navigating what comes next
• 00:42:40 – Psychological flexibility: being flexible with the world inside and out
• 00:44:54 – Overthinking as a coping mechanism to avoid emotions
• 00:46:43 – The deepest fear of high achievers: the fear of failure
• 00:47:50 – Checking in: What is really driving your "go, go, go" mode?
• 00:48:40 – Cultivating your inner wisdom (it's soft and tender, not demanding)

Today's episode is brought to you by The Planner's Vault—your go-to resource for wedding pros who want to grow, connect, and thrive. If you're looking for expert education, a supportive community, and real-talk guidance to elevate your business, come join us inside The Vault. We’d love to have you!

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Hosted by Megan Gillikin, For Real is presented by The Planner's Vault, and is produced by Walk West.