This story was written by Jon Penfold. Jon is the author of "The Road and the River: An American Adventure," which tells the true story of his travels across the United States by bicycle and down the Mississippi River by canoe. His short stories have been featured in numerous anthologies. For more of his writing, please visit jonpenfold.com. Tell him how much you like his story here: http://bit.ly/2eHLb48 FunnyInFiveHundred.com promotes original submissions of humorous short stories, all under 500 words. To stay up-to-date, receive the latest humor fiction, writing tips, and more, sign up for our newsletter at FunnyInFiveHundred.com/Subscribe. To submit your own story, head to FunnyInFiveHundred.com/Submit. To support the site, check out our first novel at FunnyInFiveHundred.com/Novel, "Sebastian Needs A Real Job." It’s a funny book about an irate goofball trying to find his first real job. One reviewer called it a "millennial’s reinterpretation of the offbeat comedy 'A Confederacy of Dunces,'” which I think summarizes the intent nicely. It’s only $2.99 on Amazon, and it’s free on Kindle Unlimited. Finally, I’d love your feedback about the podcast. Head to FunnyInFiveHundred.com/POD to take a quick 3-question survey.