Text: Proverbs 25:20 (ESV)

20 Whoever sings songs to a heavy heart

is like one who takes off a garment on a cold day,

and like vinegar on soda.

AVOID ADDING INSULT TO INJURY

Were you guilty before of giving careless and untactful comments to a person in sorrow? Classic examples are phrases like, "There's a reason for everything," or "At least it wasn't something worse." When offered to those in grief, such comments can magnify the suffering. Even if those sentiments are true, in a coldly logical sense, they're not usually helpful for the person grappling with tragedy.

Trying to "comfort" someone with overly simple measures is not merely ineffective; it's insulting. Well-meaning comments might seem to minimize the experience. It is like depriving him the warmth by removing the cloak during the cold day. If it's soaked with water, it is reasonable to take it off. Songs can help cheer a mourning person, in the right situation. However, when someone is sad and discouraged, it's inappropriate to assume a simple song will make them feel better. There is a lack of empathy.

Another picture of inappropriateness is putting vinegar into a container filled with soda. This produces an energetic reaction, but nothing else. The mixture will bubble towards overflowing. Both the vinegar and the soda are lost, and what's left is much less useful. Trite attempts to cheer up those who mourn might spark a reaction, but not the one intended.

The classic examples are Job’s friends who were careless and insensitive words. These misguided comforters did more harm than good by speaking volumes to Job when he was burdened with physical pain and grief. Sometimes the best course of action to take when comforting a discouraged person is simply to sit with him in silence. Paul understood there is a time to grieve and a time to rejoice, and he kept the two in perspective. Paul writes in Rom 12:15, "Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep." Only an insensitive person tries to rejoice with someone weeping, as if they could force a change in mood.

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