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HBO and The Ringer's Bill Simmons hosts the most downloaded sports podcast of all time, with a rotating crew of celebrities, athletes, and media staples, as well as mainstays like Cousin Sal, Joe House, and a slew of other friends and family members who always happen to be suspiciously available.
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Ever been blindsided by “they said” or dragged into someone else’s drama as the designated fixer? We dive into triangulation—the quiet manipulation that pulls a third person into conflict—and show how it erodes trust, fuels jealousy, and keeps problems unsolved. Drawing from real‑world examples in couples, families, and teams, we break down the three shifting roles (victim, persecutor, rescuer), the telltale scripts that signal a triangle forming, and why good intentions often make rescuers part of the problem.
From favoritism that turns siblings into rivals to social posts that weaponize exclusion, we explore how triangulation hooks into core relationship needs—love and belonging, freedom/autonomy, fun, empowerment, and safety. You’ll learn how those needs get hijacked to create dependency and doubt, and how to meet them in healthy, direct ways instead. We share clear, repeatable tools: boundary phrases that close triangles, present‑focused language that invites repair, and simple redirects that move gossip back to the people who can actually fix it.
If you’re tired of carrying secrets, walking on eggshells, or wondering who to trust, this conversation offers a path out: fewer middlemen, more straight talk, and practical steps you can use today. Ready to swap drama for clarity? Subscribe, share this episode with a friend who needs it, and leave a review telling us which boundary you’ll try first.
Your relationship shifts the moment you feel supported.
- Understand what you need → https://needs.drdarhawks.com
- Get tools to feel seen & heard → https://toolkit.drdarhawks.com
- Explore sessions with Dr. Dar → https://drdarhawks.com/work-with-me
New episodes roughly every other week — you’re not alone on this journey.
Also, leave a comment, ask me a question, and let me know if you resonated with an episode or not in the fan mail area.
Chapters
1. Welcome & Why You Feel Stuck (00:00:00)
2. What Triangulation Is (00:03:40)
3. Roles: Victim, Persecutor, Rescuer (00:07:58)
4. Romantic Relationship Examples (00:14:59)
5. Family Favoritism & Sibling Fallout (00:23:17)
6. Jealousy, “They Said,” and Dependency (00:31:47)
7. Emotional Toll and Warning Signs (00:40:17)
8. Where We Learn Triangulation (00:49:17)
9. Five Primary Relationship Needs (00:55:57)
10. Boundaries, Direct Talk, and Support (01:03:17)
69 episodes
