Rewriting Gaslighting: Brain Science, Boundaries, and Staying Sane
i4L Podcast: Uncomfortable Wisdom for a Better Life: Information & Insight for Your Life™
Manage episode 510800623 series 3464669
Ever had someone you trust tell a story about your life that feels smoother than the truth...and somehow you end up doubting yourself? We unpack fresh research that reframes gaslighting as a brain-based learning process, driven by prediction errors and the shortcuts our minds use to make sense of trusted relationships. Instead of treating gaslighting as a vague moral failing, we explore a testable model that shows how contradictions, blame shifting, and selective context can erode epistemic confidence; the basic ability to believe your own perception.
We walk through the theories that knit this together (prediction error minimization, attachment dynamics, self-verification, symbolic interactionism, and shared reality) and translate them into plain language and practical steps. You’ll learn eight safeguards that reduce vulnerability without turning you into a cynic: pause when surprised, name the surprise, separate facts from interpretations, verify with neutral sources, track patterns over time, trust your body’s stress signals, keep a simple log, and reach out early for support. Along the way, we share a small real-life misunderstanding that spiraled, showing how quickly tone and context can warp meaning when we skip the pause and rush to explain.
We also tackle a subtle trap for the “rational” among us: using studies or logic to override someone’s lived experience can mimic the same prediction-error maneuver we’re trying to avoid. Curiosity and empathy come first; data lands better when the nervous system feels safe. And when stonewalling, image management, or refusal to do the work becomes a pattern, we talk about how to set clean boundaries and, if needed, walk away. If you remember nothing else, anchor to these three habits: pause when surprised, separate facts from feelings, and break isolation early. Subscribe, share this with someone who needs a reality check they can trust, and leave a review with the one safeguard you’ll try this week.
Chapters:
00:00 Why Gaslighting Hurts Differently
00:36 Gaslighting As A Learning Process
01:46 Theories That Explain Gaslighting
03:23 Prediction Errors And The Brain
04:16 Why This Research Matters Now
05:15 Anyone Can Be Vulnerable
05:55 Practical Guardrails To Reduce Risk
07:21 Pause, Name Surprise, Separate Facts
09:53 Patterns, Body Signals, And Logs
13:15 Reach Out Early And Break Silence
14:53
Chapters
1. Rewriting Gaslighting: Brain Science, Boundaries, and Staying Sane (00:00:00)
2. Why Gaslighting Hurts Differently (00:00:10)
3. Gaslighting As A Learning Process (00:00:36)
4. Theories That Explain Gaslighting (00:01:46)
5. Prediction Errors And The Brain (00:03:23)
6. Why This Research Matters Now (00:04:16)
7. Anyone Can Be Vulnerable (00:05:15)
8. Practical Guardrails To Reduce Risk (00:05:55)
9. Pause, Name Surprise, Separate Facts (00:07:21)
10. Patterns, Body Signals, And Logs (00:09:53)
11. Reach Out Early And Break Silence (00:13:15)
12. Empathy, Rationality, And Unintentional Gaslighting (00:14:53)
13. When To Walk Away And Key Takeaways (00:17:27)
202 episodes