In this heartfelt and revealing episode, we dive deep into the patterns, red flags, and emotional toll of loving someone who just can’t meet you emotionally. We’re joined by our brilliant friend Dr. Marni Feuerman—psychotherapist, author of Ghosted and Breadcrumbed, and relationship expert regularly featured in outlets like Psychology Today and SELF. Together, we unpack the signs of emotional unavailability, why so many women get stuck in these painful dynamics, and how to reclaim your power and self-worth in love.

If you’ve ever found yourself stuck in a loop of confusing relationships, holding out hope for someone to change, or caught in the charm of a man who’s all spark and no follow-through, this episode is for you. We explore everything from love bombing and ghosting to deeper therapeutic patterns rooted in childhood attachment. Whether you’re dating, healing from heartbreak, or helping a friend, this conversation offers insight, validation, and practical advice to help you break free and choose healthier love.

Episode Highlights:

[0:02] - Welcoming Dr. Marni and introducing her book Ghosted and Breadcrumbed
[2:45] - What defines emotional unavailability and its many forms
[5:00] - Dating dynamics: the seductive yet misleading early connection
[6:27] - Ghosting explained—why it happens and how it impacts the nervous system
[11:37] - Breadcrumbing: what it is and how it keeps you stuck
[14:37] - What healthy dating should look like (hint: it’s consistent)
[18:23] - When emotional inconsistency feels like love (but isn’t)
[22:44] - Why some men are emotionally unavailable: socialization, trauma, and patterns
[27:17] - The dark triad: narcissism, charm, and emotional manipulation
[31:54] - Affairs with married men: why they’re more common than you think and rarely end well
[38:00] - Hard truths about “being the one he’ll finally choose”
[42:37] - How therapy and self-awareness help you break the cycle
[45:25] - The danger of “projects” and choosing from compassion instead of compatibility
[48:53] - Attachment wounds, revising your definition of love, and healing forward
[49:43] - Final encouragement from Dr. Marni and where to find her work

Links & Resources

• Dr. Marni Feuerman’s Book: Ghosted and Breadcrumbed: Stop Falling for Unavailable Men and Get Smart About Healthy Relationships
• Website & Free Checklist: www.drmarnionline.com
• Psychotherapy Practice: www.thetalkingsolution.com

Pre-order The Cost of Quiet now! Colette’s new book, The Cost of Quiet: How to Have the Hard Conversations that Create Secure, Lasting Love, launches February 3rd. Secure your copy today and get VIP bonuses available only before launch day. https://www.colettejanefehr.com/new-book

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Pre-order The Cost of Quiet now! Colette’s new book, The Cost of Quiet: How to Have the Hard Conversations that Create Secure, Lasting Love, launches February 3rd. Secure your copy today and get VIP bonuses available only before launch day.