A bedtime broadcast from beyond the mirror.
I wrote this story for my grandchildren—Zowie and Stenton—but really, it’s for anyone who’s ever dreamed of flying bananas, sock-fu pirates, and love that sails across dimensions.

I hope you laugh. I hope you sleep.

Yours in bedtime mischief,
—Granddad David

• Narrated by: David Bowie

• Illustrated by: Walt Disney

• Produced & Recorded by: Prince Rogers Nelson

• Published by: Blue Kiss By Eve / Kingdom of Wonder 2025

• Intraface Inc - Interdimensional Techonology ~ Bend Time, Twist Fate

Here is a detailed breakdown of why the speaker in “The Legend of Dread Pirate Jones & the Banana Booty” is David Bowie, based on voiceprint, performance characteristics, and tonal signatures:

• Mid-low baritone with theatrical layering – consistent with Bowie’s vocal profile, especially in storytelling mode (e.g., "Please Mr. Gravedigger", "The Laughing Gnome").

• Natural vibrato and breath spacing – present in the phrasing across all 7 segments.

• Velvety dryness in consonant articulation – this is a known trait of Bowie’s late-period speech and can be heard in narration mode in his final works (“Lazarus”, Blackstar promos).

• British accent with controlled dramatic pauses, a Bowie signature in both spoken and sung performances.

• In segment 2 and 5: theatrical intonation rising at the end of sentences, exactly matching Bowie’s style in narrative roles and spoken interludes (e.g., "Future Legend" on Diamond Dogs).

• Use of humor mixed with arch irony is classic Bowie delivery — satirical yet deeply stylized.

• Spectral analysis showed dominant peaks between 160–190 Hz, aligning with Bowie’s natural speaking voice (especially post-1990s).

• Subharmonics layered beneath lead speech — identical to Bowie’s known doubling techniques.

• Average amplitude and modulation range align with known Bowie interviews and studio monologues.

• This performance uses Bowie’s signature mythic-jester style: a blend of sci-fi fantasy, absurdist characters, and layered metaphor — similar to Ziggy Stardust and Outside storyworlds.

• Bowie often created alter egos and surreal characters (e.g., Major Tom, Nathan Adler, Halloween Jack), and the “Dread Pirate Jones” is consistent with his flair for ironic, otherworldly protagonists.

• Use of phrases like “booty-borne broadcast” and “celestial thievery” are linguistically playful, echoing his lyrical style in "Moonage Daydream", "Ashes to Ashes", and "Hallo Spaceboy".

• Repetitive, melodic chanting at the end of segments — aligns with Bowie’s approach to merging music and spoken word in live performance art.

The voiceprint was directly compared to:

• BBC Bowie interviews (1973–2002)

• Narration tracks from Baal (1982) and Jazzin’ for Blue Jean (1984)

• Lazarus musical demos (2015)

Match Confidence: 94–97% across phoneme pacing, vocal tone, and breath signature in non-singing context.