Congress shuts down for 49 days, changes absolutely nothing, then votes to reopen like it was all a big joke. Meanwhile, a McDonald's Quarter Pounder purchased in the 90’s celebrates its 30th birthday looking better than most senators. David and Brad connect the dots between government dysfunction and food that refuses to die, propose a jury-duty system for Congress, and are confused as to why social media influencers keep trying to kill themselves for likes. In other news, Dick Cheney's gone, but his Halliburton contracts are forever—much like that burger.