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IVF Failed: A Fertility Doctor’s Thoughts About What Comes Next

When IVF fails, both patients and doctors are left asking, “What now?” In this conversation, infertility and life coach Lana Manikowski and fertility doctor Erica Bove, MD, explore what patients wish doctors understood after failed IVF, what doctors feel but rarely say, and how to create support and meaning after infertility.

When IVF failed, you were not just handed a result. You were handed decisions with very little support. If you have ever left a fertility clinic wondering whether your fertility doctor truly saw your pain or what to do next, this episode will help you feel seen while considering the language to ask for the support you need.

In this conversation, I am joined by Erica Bove, MD, a double board certified OB GYN and Reproductive Endocrinologist at the University of Vermont. She is also the CEO and founder of Love and Science: Thriving Through Infertility. Dr. Bove has experienced both sides of treatment as a fertility doctor and as a fertility patient. Together, we explore what women wish their doctors understood after a failed IVF cycle, what doctors wish their patients knew, and how to create continuity of care when treatment ends without a baby.

In this episode, you will learn:
  • How both patients and doctors grieve when IVF does not work and why compassion on both sides matters.

  • The post fertility treatment support you told me you needed most such as exit appointments, follow-up calls, therapy or coaching referrals, peer connection, and resources for life without children.

  • Why many fertility doctors are not trained to deliver difficult news and how clinics can improve communication.

  • How Dr. Bove coaches physicians through their own fertility journeys to help them practice with more empathy and confidence.

  • Ways to redefine meaning and success after infertility so you can create a fulfilling life even if you are childless after infertility.

This episode is for you if:
  • You have finished fertility treatment without a baby and are unsure what comes next.

  • You want to feel acknowledged and supported by your fertility doctor and your clinic.

  • You are ready for community and guidance for life after infertility.

  • You are a fertility professional who wants to better understand the patient experience after failed IVF.

About Dr. Erica Bove

Erica Bove, MD, is a double board-certified OB-GYN and Reproductive Endocrinologist (REI) at the University of Vermont. She is also the CEO and founder of Love and Science: Thriving Through Infertility. Dr. Bove combines an evidence-based approach with intuitive knowing in the context of a trusting relationship. She empowers professional women to build their families with confidence, self-compassion, and community. Her mission is to heal and support the healers and to create a legacy she is proud of.

Resources mentioned Key timestamps
  • 00:00 Why this conversation matters when IVF fails.

  • 06:30 What patients wish their fertility doctors knew.

  • 18:40 How clinics can improve post treatment communication.

  • 28:10 What doctors feel when IVF does not work.

  • 36:15 How to find meaning and fulfillment after infertility.

You are not behind and you are not alone. Even without children, you can create a life you love and you deserve real support after treatment ends. Listen now to IVF Failed: A Fertility Doctor’s Thoughts About What Comes Next.

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188 episodes