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We explore defensiveness as a nervous system reflex that shuts down connection and share practices that turn hard truths into repair. From parenting regrets to partner conflicts, we model the pause, reflective listening and building self-safety so honesty can land.
• defining defensiveness and how it derails connection
• shame and guilt as triggers for reactivity
• authenticity gaps between public self and home self
• validation over explanation as the repair path
• role-playing to build empathy and reduce triggers
• the pause, reflective listening and one-sided shares
• using a talking stick and setting return times
• staying steady when delivery is heated
• forgiving the past self to hear the present truth
• simple reflection to practice before responding
Let us know what your questions are, and we'd love to use them on a future episode. Or check us out on Insta at Let That Ship Go or visit our website, SerenityCove Temecula.com
https://www.serenitycovetemecula.com

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Chapters

1. The Real D-Word Is Defensiveness (And It’s Ruining Date Night) (00:00:00)

2. Opening, Theme, And Today’s Focus (00:00:07)

3. Skin Deep Cards: Peace And Insecurity (00:00:38)

4. Naming Defensiveness And Why It Shows Up (00:02:26)

5. The Walk: When Listening Turns To Defense (00:03:14)

6. Shame, Guilt, And Being Cast The Villain (00:05:07)

7. Parenting Regrets And Holding Space (00:06:30)

8. Tears, Triggers, And Not Making It About You (00:09:10)

9. Self-Safety Versus Feeling Attacked (00:11:28)

10. Authenticity Gaps At Home And In Public (00:13:20)

11. Surrender, Humility, And Inner Observer (00:15:03)

12. Validation Over Explanation (00:17:15)

13. Role-Playing To Deactivate Triggers (00:19:17)

14. Practice The Pause And Reflective Listening (00:21:05)

15. One-Sided Shares And The Talking Stick (00:23:02)

16. Repeat Back, Confirm, Then Deepen (00:25:00)

17. Hearing Heated Delivery Without Retaliation (00:27:01)

18. Validation Encourages Understanding (00:29:10)

19. Closing Reflection And Listener Invite (00:31:10)

20. Sign-Off And How To Reach Us (00:33:33)

77 episodes