Episode Summary

High achievers often wear every hat in the room. At home they are the fixer. At work they are the go-to. Then they wonder why they feel exhausted, resentful, and low-key burned out. In this episode, Coach Mo and Coach A-Mo break down the two hats leaders and caregivers wear most: the “Big Mama” hat (I solve it for you) and the “Thought Partner” hat (I help you solve it for yourself). They show how staying in fixer mode pulls you into other people’s stories, drains your energy, and lets the punk ass inner critic run the narrative. You will learn when to put up guardrails, how to shift into a solution-focused stance, and how the S.W.A.G. framework (Self-Awareness, Why-Power, Aligned Action, Grit) helps you lead self before leading others.

S.W.A.G. Framework Cheat Sheet

Inner Arena Leadership

Key Takeaways

• Fixer mode leaks energy. When you always wear the “Big Mama” hat, you take on everyone else’s emotional baggage and start feeling their stress as your own.
• Guardrails protect your power. The moment you feel “here we go again, I have to fix this,” that is the signal to switch to the Thought Partner hat and ask open-ended, solution-focused questions.
• Thought Partnering builds ownership. Asking “What steps are you going to take?” keeps you out of their story and strengthens their problem-solving muscles.
• Performing leadership vs. being leadership. Performing leadership is about getting the ROI. Being leadership is about leading self first so the work feels lighter and more authentic.
• S.W.A.G. is the trigger. Self-awareness tells you your energy is cracking, Why-Power reminds you of your role, Aligned Action says ask the question, and Grit keeps you consistent.

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