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In this powerful and emotionally rich episode of Man: A Quest to Find Meaning, I sit down with therapist Selwyn Duke for an open, vulnerable conversation about what happens when life breaks us open—and how those moments become the catalyst for deep healing.

We explore how depression, breakups, addiction, and anxiety often act as wake-up calls, forcing us to ask the questions we’ve been avoiding: Who am I, really? What do I need to heal? For both Selwyn and me, it was personal pain—emotional breakdowns and grief—that sparked our journeys of self-inquiry.

Selwyn shares how his work with sexuality, addiction, trauma, and grief has shaped him as a man, and how true healing doesn’t come from fixing—but from presence, awareness, and being seen. We talk about repressed anger, the pressure of family expectations, ancestral grief, and the subtle shame men carry when they step off the expected path.

You’ll hear insights on:

• How unprocessed grief and trauma live in the body
• The difference between healthy and unhealthy anger
• How to explore your sexuality without shame
• Why silence and nature are essential for reconnection
• The healing power of community and honest conversation

Whether you're navigating a breakup, struggling with your emotions, or searching for a deeper connection to yourself—this episode will speak to your heart and your body.

About Selwyn:

My name is Selwyn Warren and I'm an Integrative Humanistic Therapist.

I have always been interested in the way we tick and how we can have a tendency to lose ourselves.Why do people who could be enjoying happy, healthy lives hide away, get sick, addicted or suicidal or just plain discontent. Why do we find it difficult to share our emotions or relate?

My own life has been a personal journey into finding the answers to some of these questions. It has taken me to some very dark places and also some amazing ones, meeting some incredible people on the way. I have jumped into training in yoga, shiatsu and counselling and worked in intimacy, sexuality and addiction, as well as teaching different disciplines to groups and on a one-to -one basis.

I have also undertaken many years of my own personal therapy and 12 step work as well exploring mindfulness, spirituality and menswork. There is nothing better for developing the self than time on the planet and learning from failures and successes. I have had to adapt to life's challenges from business failure,near bankruptcy, depression, relationship breakdowns, and losing friends and loved ones along the way to getting closer to finding my authentic self. So this is the root of my work.

My professional training has run alongside my lived experience and I hope this will help you grow, look at life from a new perspective and ultimately become more content.

I have witnessed people develop and change their lives through committing to therapy and this has often rippled out to those around them, creating better relationship and family dynamics. I welcome those from different backgrounds of gender,race,sexuality or neurodiversity and seek to treat everyone as an individual in their own right, curious to their own unique experience. You may feel challenged at times but always listened to and heard.