Jeff and Chris tackle the high-stakes arena of Valentine’s Day, where overpriced candy is the currency of love, and office cubicles become gladiator pits for public romantic flexing. From the horrifying reality of middle-aged men wandering into Victoria’s Secret to the lawless frontier of 80s banking, they uncover shocking truths: Was Wells Fargo just Disneyland with worse rides? Did we all just accept that security cameras in the 80s were filming pure static? And how did we survive a time when getting cash required human interaction and a pocket-sized novel called a "passbook"? Also, Jeff is losing debit cards at an alarming rate, Chris is skeptical of the government tracking his Sudafed purchases, and somewhere, an ATM is judging you.