Power struggles don’t have to define family life. With Dr. Peter Montminy—clinical child psychologist, certified mindfulness teacher, and parenting coach—we unpack a simple, repeatable approach that turns conflict into a coaching moment. Collaborative Problem Solving (CPS) helps us keep authority while replacing standoffs with skill-building and trust, so mornings, homework, and bedtimes feel less like battlegrounds and more like opportunities to grow.
We start by challenging a common myth: kids aren’t “frequent offenders,” they’re frequent strugglers. That mindset opens the door to empathy and leads directly into the CPS three-step method. First, we listen with compassionate curiosity to understand the child’s concerns in their words. Next, we clearly name our own concerns and values—using “and,” not “but,” to keep connection intact. Finally, we brainstorm options, weigh pros and cons together, and choose a trial plan we’ll test and review. Along the way, we highlight the core skills CPS strengthens: emotion regulation, cognitive flexibility, communication, focused attention, working memory, and perspective-taking.
Timing is everything. We map out “green-zone” huddles for calm, 10-minute planning and show how to briefly reference the plan in the heat of the moment without reigniting a power struggle. We also tackle common roadblocks—like a child who won’t engage or seems unmotivated—by lowering feeling temperatures and tapping into what they genuinely care about, from less nagging to more independence. The result is a home culture that pairs structure with empathy, reinforces clear expectations, and gives kids a voice in how they meet them.
If you’re ready for fewer fights and more follow-through, this conversation offers concrete language, practical scripts, and weekly check-in ideas you can implement tonight. Subscribe, share with a caregiver or educator who could use a calmer morning, and leave a review to tell us which routine you’re rewriting first.

If you or someone you know is in crisis, call or text 988 for immediate support.

This podcast is brought to you by Jana Marie Foundation and A Mindful Village.

Jana Marie Foundation is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization located in State College, Pennsylvania which harnesses the power of creative expression and dialogue to spark conversations build connections, and promote mental health and wellbeing among young people and their communities. Learn more at Jana Marie Foundation.

A Mindful Village is Dr. Peter Montminy's private consulting practice dedicated to improving the mental health of kids and their caregivers. Learn more at A Mindful Village | Holistic Mental Health Care for Kids.

Music created by Ken Baxter.

(c) 2025. Jana Marie Foundation. All Rights Reserved.

This podcast was developed in part under a grant number SM090046 from the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA), U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (HHS). The views, policies, and opinions expressed are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect those of SAMHSA, HHS or the Pennsylvania Department of Human Services.