What happens when our beliefs control us rather than us controlling our beliefs? This profound question lies at the heart of our journey through attachment and how it shapes our connections with others and ourselves.
Attachment isn't inherently problematic—it's how our nervous systems organize for survival, safety, and belonging. The challenge emerges when we become so attached to our beliefs that they blind us to other perspectives and possibilities. Using Don Miguel Ruiz Jr.'s "Five Levels of Attachment" as our guide, we explore how attachment progresses from the authentic self enjoying pure experience (level one) to dangerous fanaticism that destroys relationships and creates suffering (level five).
Through personal stories of religious deconstruction, we share both painful moments of judgment when beliefs changed and beautiful instances of curiosity and acceptance. We examine how attachment manifests physically—creating anxiety, tightness, and defensive reactions when beliefs are challenged—and how awareness interrupts this cycle. Those moments when we feel compelled to defend our positions or impose them on others reveal unhealthy attachment taking control.
The path forward isn't about abandoning all beliefs but recognizing our relationship with knowledge. Are we using knowledge as a tool for connection and understanding, or are we allowing it to create separation and suffering? As Nikola Tesla wisely noted, "We are all one. Only egos, beliefs, and fear separate us."
This exploration represents a fundamental aspect of our middle passage—the transition that has reshaped our lives. Rather than adding more to our identities, we've discovered the liberating power of subtraction—unbecoming rather than becoming. By loosening our grip on rigid beliefs, we create space for deeper connections, greater curiosity, and authentic living.
Ready to examine your own attachments? Listen in, and join us next time as we explore authenticity—the counterbalance to attachment and the key to living genuinely connected lives.

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Timestamps:
[00:00:00] Intro
[00:03:50] Couple Life Update and Family Reflections
[00:09:02] Understanding Attachments and Knowledge
[00:17:40] The Five Levels of Attachment Explained
[00:38:36] Creating Our Own Suffering Through Beliefs
[00:46:12] Breaking Free From Unhealthy Attachments
[01:02:30] Authenticity Preview and Closing Thoughts